It could be jealousy >.>

[Sano]

My bf and I have been together for a little over 4 months and I think it might be slightly harder because of the distance.
We play online together because its his way of spending time with me, which is fine. Recently he's been telling me that he's been talking to another girl and I wasnt mad but he kept bringing her up over and over and now he tells me she asked him to with her. He says he loves me and everything and I believe him, but now he's ditching me to talk to her or other girls. Im trying not to be mad or jealous and give him his time to himself but it makes me angry when he just leaves me to talk to someone else without saying anything. I've told him about and he says he'll try to be more considerate of my feelinigs because I was mad for a few days. He's a really sweet guy and I guess thats why he's so popular but Im trying really hard not to be bothered because I dont want to fight with him but I can't help it. Then there's time when he's kind of mopey and he'll say he wants to spend time with me and he'll just not talk then when one of his other chick friends pops on he just perks right up and invites them into our conversation party. I try to make nice but I just end up not talking. I dont really know what to do about it

[Yorkshire Girl]

The reason I love this group is because everyone is honest.

In my honest opinion I think this guy may be taking his cake and eating it. I think he wants the best of different worlds and this is causing a problem for you. The last thing you need is to feel shitty, because feeling shitty makes everything appear to be worse than it is.

He has been honest and told you about him talking to another girl, which is a good thing. If I was you I would create some distance between you guys. He will either realise that he misses you and wants to be with you ... or the other. But at least u will realise. As much as you love this person, there is no point in being with someone who doesnt feel the same back.

Hugs to you =)

[Sano]

You're right. Thanks so much for the advice. We've been fighting a bunch in the last week about it. I am going to try and distance myself from him. Im tired of being mad and blaming myself for all of our falling out and really tired of being jealous. I've never been so upset before its just like a burning and it makes my stomach upset. I need to get back to doing the things I was before I met him

[AquaMan]

Talking directly to him might be a good idea in this situation. If you just distance yourself from him, how is he going to know that his behavior is really bothering you?

[LilSusy]

I agree, talking might be a better idea and after you have had an in depth discussion, really solving what it bothering you, then you can distance yourself. The issues will not disappear if it is ignored. It is like playing games if you decide to distance yourself just to see if he misses you.

[LadyMarchHare]

Like the others have said, distancing yourself is basically expecting your SO to be a mind-reader. And let's face it, NONE of us are mind-readers, not even the best looking, most compassionate person is. If the issue is bothering you (which really it would bother me too) then you need to say, "hey we need to talk, just us" and tell him what's bothering you, why, and suggest you guys work it out together. It sounds to me like he's not treating you like much of a girlfriend if YOUR presence isn't the one cheering him up, but that's just me. Just don't play head games by ignoring him, distancing yourself, acting a certain way hoping he'll notice, etc. It causes more fights than it does solutions. Only way to get down to the core of the problem is to be direct and talk about it.

[Rugger]

Playing games with your SO is stupid, immature and gets NOTHING fixed. As LadyMarchHare said, He's not a bloody mind reader. You need to tell him that you need to talk to him ALONE and tell him how you are feeling. Tell him that it makes you feel shitty that he would rather talk to these other girls than his girlfriend. You need to be straight forward with him

[Yorkshire Girl]

The reason I suggested distance was because she states that she has already tried to speak to him about it and told him that it is upsetting her ... his response was to be more considerate. But he isnt doing. Maybe your right and speaking to him again is the answer. I dont know.

I really hope you get it sorted what ever you decide to do. Were here for you =)

[Darth_Taco]

Sounds like he's trying to make you jealous. You said he's popular. Well, for some people that comes with a bit of an ego. I get the feeling he likes the power trip he gets from getting you jealous. My father would do the same to my mother. He'd even go as far as bringing random women home and telling her he's going to have sex with them later. My situation was an extreme and full of stupidity XP. I can't tell you if your significant other will cheat or not, some people just get off on feeling wanted and won't take it as far as actual cheating. It also makes them think what they're doing is ok when in reality it's being inconsiderate.

Tell him that he's being an ass. Make it clear you're ok when he talks to girls (since you mentioned that you are), but not when he makes such a damn effort to make it clear he's talking to other women. Basically, calmly point out his behaviors, how he ditches you for other girls, how he makes you feel crappy, and basically let him know he's being immature.

[PaperbackWriter]

Tell him that he's being an ass. Make it clear you're ok when he talks to girls (since you mentioned that you are), but not when he makes such a damn effort to make it clear he's talking to other women. Basically, calmly point out his behaviors, how he ditches you for other girls, how he makes you feel crappy, and basically let him know he's being immature.

Pretty much this.

[Karringtyn]

Tell him straight out what he is doing and how it is affecting you. It won't be easy, but it's communication and you need to be real to him.

[Sano]

We've talked about it before. Several times in between the falling out but he just kept doing it. He'll say he understands and he'll try to make a better effort to consider my feelings but he just turns around and does it again

[Karringtyn]

We've talked about it before. Several times in between the falling out but he just kept doing it. He'll say he understands and he'll try to make a better effort to consider my feelings but he just turns around and does it again

Then if he isn't considering your feelings.....hmmmm...what does that say to you? Everyone deserves respect. What is your payoff in this relationship?

[Sano]

You're right. I was just trying to be patient. He says its not a big deal because I should know he loves me but Im still irritated I just dont feel like fighting about anymore is all. That doesn't solve anything either though.
He actually gets upset when I tell him I vented to my friends about him.

[AquaMan]

he says it's not a big deal? that is beyond inconsiderate! i would tell you to break up with this clown, but thats just the easy way out. you should try telling asking him how he would feel if you were bringing guy friends into your conversation parties, and blowing him off so you could hang out with guy friends all the time. i bet he wouldnt like it if the tables were turned.