Lack of Romance in our LDR

[jerseygirl904]

I would wait, for sure.

[Kalmyia]

I concur with the sentiment that waiting would be a good thing. The amount of time is up to you, but make sure you make it long enough so that him helping you out isn't really "current" in your relationship anymore.

[rsvpnj]

I will do just that... I will wait a little while... I know that I definitely want to talk about this before Christmas. We are taking a couple of day trips after Christmas and one is to NYC... lots of romantic opportunities there...

Thanks to everyone for their honest advice!!!

[Karringtyn]

Recently this was a problem.....or starting to be one...and I came right out and said what I missed (cards/letters) from the beginning of our relationship....he told me yesterday he mailed one...(LOL! SURPRISE?!)...but my point is...I had to be point blank....

[OwenXAbbey]

I see that you've already gotten a lot of great advice in this thread, I just wanted to say how awesome it is that your guy sent you money to help out with bills! Sounds like you've got an outstanding SO

[Butterfly]

It's funny you say this, because I was feeling this way a little while back. I would get annoyed if I would send something really sweet and get a short reply back. Then I really thought about it, and realized, all people are different and they show emotion differently. If you are in a loving and committed relationship I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to tell him how you feel. You would want him to tell you if there was something you could do to make him feel better, right? I'd go about it in a casual and nice way and express your thoughts and feelings to him. Some guys just need to actually hear what you want. Wouldn't it be a much better world if they were all mind readers?? Just tell him how much it would mean to you to get a nice letter or thought out text. Something simple like that. I bet he just needs to hear you say what you want. He is a guy, after all!
Hope that helps!!

[Butterfly]

I will do just that... I will wait a little while... I know that I definitely want to talk about this before Christmas. We are taking a couple of day trips after Christmas and one is to NYC... lots of romantic opportunities there...

Thanks to everyone for their honest advice!!!

Ahh classic mistake. I posted before reading through the entire thread. I agree with the others, wait just a bit. Enjoy your trips

[Casey]

Hi there. This was a big issue for my partner and I for a long time. I felt like I was never being listened to, and well, the romantic gestures were few and far between.
It obviously caused a lot of fights, but every time I would just tell him what I wanted, and well over the course of nearly 5 years he's getting pretty good - no where near perfect, but alot better.
He listens and responds, and even follows up on topics now! lol men are soooo useless. He still isn't mr romantic, but he does listen and appreciate more now!

[rsvpnj]

I see that you've already gotten a lot of great advice in this thread, I just wanted to say how awesome it is that your guy sent you money to help out with bills! Sounds like you've got an outstanding SO

He is outstanding! He is a great BF for the most part... which is the main reason I felt awkward bringing this up to him in the first place...I know he is trying but I guess sometimes I just feel like he is "trying" too much and isn't just feeling it... I don't know if that makes sense... he's all for our date nights and now we play online games together.... and Sunday nights are just for us....sometimes I wonder if I'm being unrealistic in my expectations... I probably am... I don't want flowers all the time.. or ever really... just something that I can look back on when times are tough or lonely and that I can treasure for a while....

[Čternity]

I don't want flowers all the time.. or ever really... just something that I can look back on when times are tough or lonely and that I can treasure for a while....

oh my goodness tell him this, it says it all.

[rsvpnj]

oh my goodness tell him this, it says it all.

I will try that then... thanks Eternity!

[Dauntedpoet]

Hi there, welcome to LFAD and the boards! I am in total agreement with Karryngton - You need to be very direct and to the point about what you need to hear from him. In the beginning of our relationship, I actually sent my SO a multiple choice love letter, with an a,b,c options written from him to send back to me. He got the hint! LOL

[rsvpnj]

Hi there, welcome to LFAD and the boards! I am in total agreement with Karryngton - You need to be very direct and to the point about what you need to hear from him. In the beginning of our relationship, I actually sent my SO a multiple choice love letter, with an a,b,c options written from him to send back to me. He got the hint! LOL

LOL... that's a cute idea!!! Perhaps I'll try something similar to get the ball rolling...

[Stubborn Hope]

I actually sent my SO a multiple choice love letter, with an a,b,c options written from him to send back to me. He got the hint! LOL

That's fantastic, Dauntedpoet! Thank you.

I'm actually in the same boat as rsvpnj... Only, I have been direct about what I want, and I have waited quite awhile...

[rsvpnj]

Many of your suggestions have been very helpful! After the stress of the holidays have passed or perhaps even during our holiday visit, I will discuss this with him...Thank you all!

Please feel free to post if anyone else has any other suggestions. :-)

Thanks!