I think my LDR is over.

[Tanja]

I hope he comes around and committs to you properly. Looking good so far

[Sarah M]

Wow! That's awesome! Beautiful words... Sometimes they can be the best thing.

Congratulations. Sounds like your letter was a brilliant idea!

[A Silence in Winter]

Ooohhh, that sounds good! =] I'm glad that you're smiling again, Veiled_Dreamer. I can't wait until tomorrow to hear the good news!

[aggie]

This is the happiest he has made me in a very long time. Details in the morning. =] aksfjksdfsdk I love you guys, I should have sent that letter a month ago.

Wow! I think that was the quickest solved problem ever.... I don't think i can wait till the morning..! Tell us, tell us!
Yay. Yay for you and your SO!
Grats.
Hope he'll keep you happy for long, long time now

[Kitty]

You know the way a guy behaves depends a lot on age and maturity but no matter what age a girl is at we don't like being taken lightly or not being taken seriously (however you want to say it) ...and what he said whether in jest or not was bull. I hope you find what you need, want and deserve...with or without him.

And just for reference, that last wasn't meant to be mean or rude. Just that if he doesn't want to step up and be a man then you deserve finding someone who does.

Edit: Ooh! You scooted in there before I posted. Hopefully the news is as good as it sounds! ^.^

[Veiled_Dreamer]

This is the happiest he has made me in a very long time. Details in the morning. =] aksfjksdfsdk I love you guys, I should have sent that letter a month ago.

Because I can't resist staying up a littleee later:
"Right now it feels like we can beat the odds. I want to see if we can. What about you?"
"Jenna. What were the odds that we met in the first place? What were the odds that I fell hard enough for you that I would search the entire internet to find you? What are the odds that even after two years a single conversation and it was like nothing ever happened? What are the odds we could make each other so happy? If we are experts at anything, it is beating odds."

[MadMolly]

I'm REALLY glad you've confronted him about this. It sounds as though he's convinced you that the whole non-commitment thing is a good idea but you're now accepting it isn't for you. I think he needs to shape up or ship out and stop messing around with your feelings!

[seshei]

After reading some of your posts, I'm really happy to see that you're standing up for yourself. I hope it feels good to do so, and that the strength you gain from that gets you through things if they don't go the way you hope they will. Hopefully, after reading your letter, he will see that you deserve to be treated with respect, and not to be toyed with.

[A Silence in Winter]

Sometimes the right thing is hard to do. When you were a kid, did you want to tell mom you broke her favorite vase? You didn't, but it was the right thing.

Of course, your heart is much more valuable than any vase. Think about it though: would you rather be with someone who doesn't treasure you and flirts with other girls while you are away to placate himself, or someone who waits honestly for you to be at his side? It's not fair for you to give yourself to him and have him just turn his back on you.

If he loves you with everything he has, then he will hear you and do everything you ask. Just as Lunamea said, he might be trying to get a rise out of you. If he is, then sending him this letter should only strengthen you two because he will know that you want only him and no one else! If he can't accept the fact that you want something that is real, then you deserve something that is.

Like Gurl said, we will ALL be here to lift you up in times when you are down! :3

[Veiled_Dreamer]

Thanks guys for being here for me and really encouraging me to do what is best for me.

"It's a, um... detailed letter." "I ponder in great detail." "I'm gonna eat dinner real quick."

Ha. Why do I think this is going no place good?

[lunamea]

Hm, that's two very different statements within a short period of time! I kinda get the feeling that he wants to make you jealous/wants to make you chase him, though I cannot imagine why he would keep doing that?

I remember that I would say stupid things like that to my (now) husband (shortly after we'd met) to get a reaction from him, a manipulative way of checking whether he's committed and wants the same I do, I guess. As you've made clear that you are committed to him and don't wait for something better to come your way, that can't be his reason, however.

What you're doing is definitely right - you have to agree to the rules at the beginning of the relationship. There's no relationship if you're not on the same page about commitment.

[Gurl]

*hugs* You deserve so much better hun. I hope he says he will give you the things you need and then follow through on that, but if not, we are here for you. take care of you...

[A Silence in Winter]

Was he kidding around when he told said "what if I find someone cuter?" Even if he was, that wasn't in very good taste...

I went from a CD to a LD and my boyfriend and I are 100% committed to one another. It doesn't sound like he understands that you want to be. In an LDR, that's very important. I think it's good that you wrote him a note telling him how you feel. Yes, this might make it or break it time, but what you're doing is the right thing. He needs to put his money where his mouth and show that he loves you and, if he doesn't, then there is a boy out there for you who loves you more than anything else on this planet. It might sound cliche, but I believe that there is someone out there for everyone. If this boy isn't willing to treat you like the beautiful girl that you are, then he needs to stop being such a boy, grow up and become a man. You deserve someone who is going to respect you and give you what you need.

Be brave, it will all work out in the end.

[Veiled_Dreamer]

I don't know if any of you remember my last thread (I'll probably find a link later) but we had worked things out, though us at LFAD had come to the conclusion that I need to do what's best for me and stop being a doormat.

Lately, it's like he and I don't talk as much; yesterday we got like twenty words combined and usually we would talk for literally hours on end. We had a nice day on Valentine's. Until I asked him to be my Valentine (I was cute about it, so ready for him to say yes) and he said, "I want to but what if I meet a cute girl at the [festival I'm going to tonight]..." I'm sure you can imagine how much that stung: it's one thing to accept that maybe one day we will find people that are better for us, no one here knows if our or your own "us" will last the test of time; it's a totally different thing to make precautions and avoid commitment. I said he had to decide who he wanted to be with more, then. He knew I was going to work at a Valentine's dinner for my church, and he asked if that was that night or the night before; when he found out I wasn't going to see anyone else Valentine's Day night, he said, "I was going to suggest we be e-Valentines but that's not fair to you.... I will be yours and yours alone, my silly."

What the hell is that? Him saying just the last thing would have made my night eight hundred times over, but it meant nothing with the circumstances. He had that festival late that night, so we didn't cuddle to sleep like usual; class the next night, he didn't even bother saying anything more than "hi" to see if I was awake when he got home, usually he will say "*crawls into bed with you, wraps my arms around you, and kisses your head*" and he knows full well how much that means to me when I see it in the morning; today he's no where to be seen, I'm going to bed in two hours and I can't have my phone in my room (as a punishment this week from my parents, ironically for me being irritable, partially about this) to wait up for him.

So, I wrote him a long letter. It outlines exactly what I need, how I need to be the most important, how I need to made to feel valued, how I need to not be afraid of falling in love with him. I'm going to give it to him, probably right before I go to bed at this rate. I think that just reading that you can tell he doesn't want the same serious relationship, official or unofficial or whatever else. I don't want an open relationship, I thought he knew that. Sucks because he thinks that if we end things (we've discussed it before) we still be able to talk all night and be best friends and whatever else, and I think I'll need at least a few weeks for closure.

Now it's make or break, I get what I want, need, and deserve or I don't. I'm either going to be happy, really happy, that he's finally agreed to a definite commitment or I'm going to be quite sad that he won't, but glad I found out before I fell totally head over heels over him. You know, I just know he's going to say he doesn't want what I want and it'll be over for good. I've already started kind of getting that into my head.

I guess we'll see.