thinking about letting him go ...

[Sano]

First off I want ot say that I love my SO very much but today Im starting to think he may be better off with someone else.

He keeps telling me about the girls in his class flirting with him and stuff and Im pretty much over that. I think he just may like all the attention he gets regardless of how it makes me feel. Then a few days ago, I guess he told his father about me. He did tell me that his father said he'd prefer he didnt see me. He didnt tell me why but its probably either of two reasons.
one being he doesn't approve of LDR
and the second which is probably the stronger of the possibilities is that Im black and he isn't.
Race has never been an issue to me and it really isnt one to me either but I dont want to cause any tension between him and his dad.
He told me he doesn't have a problem with it but right now Im starting to think it might be easier to let him go back to what he's used to. I love him alot and I want him to be happy. And Im not going to fight for anyone's attention

[Heather]

Well if he loves you and wants to be with you as much as you do him, why let him go? If he didn't want to be with you he wouldn't be right? I wouldn't just give up like that...my mom didn't like Jason either, but I still continued on in the relationship. Yeah it sucked the tension between me, my mom and Jason at times I felt like I was in the middle of them, but in the end we got through it. I would think about it before you make any rash decisions. Talk to him about it, put your feelings out there.. See where it goes but definitely take it slow and don't jump to any conclusions.

[mllebamako]

To me, it just seems like you want to end things because you feel bad about making his life more complicated or something. Of course, it would all be "easier" if we just dropped our long distance relationships---but if he's with you, then he wants to be.
Love isn't easy and if your SO loves you back then he should be willing to fight for the relationship. It seems to me that you are just lacking confidence in yourself or your relationship.

But if you feel like HE wants to be "out" of the relationship...then that is a different story.

[Silviar]

This is your and his decision in the end. He may have told you because you're his girlfriend and confidant. I suggest talking more about why his father disapproves and if your SO feels it affects your relationship. Only you two can decide how much you want to let it affect you. Good luck!

[LadyMarchHare]

To me, it just seems like you want to end things because you feel bad about making his life more complicated or something. Of course, it would all be "easier" if we just dropped our long distance relationships---but if he's with you, then he wants to be.
Love isn't easy and if your SO loves you back then he should be willing to fight for the relationship. It seems to me that you are just lacking confidence in yourself or your relationship.

But if you feel like HE wants to be "out" of the relationship...then that is a different story.

I agree with this. And you never know his side of the story until you talk to him.

My SO's the same way in a sense as my mom hates him because he's black so he doesn't call a lot because he doesn't want to cause tension if she's around when it happens. Thing is, I don't care what my mom thinks and your SO may feel the same way or he may love you enough that it doesn't really matter. I mean he's with you, isn't he?

The thing that bothers me is his telling you about girls flirting with him. I think that's rather mean even if he's just informing you. Either he needs to set those girls straight or you need to tell him to quit talking about it because I know that's got to hurt. The best of luck to you.

[Kika]

My SO knows that there are a few guys who like me (thanks to facebook), he even knows that they are texting me and stuff, but they ALL know that I am in a relationship and I just can't make them stop texting me. I am not telling him about every guy because I don't want to make him feel bad/sad. These guys don't mean anything to me, I love my boyfriend and would be very very sad if he broke up with me because of that

[Sano]

I was still thinking about it when I got off work this morning and he called me while I was in the grocery store. I ended up locking myself in the public bathroom to talk about it. He pretty much reassure me about basically everything you guys said. I dont really know why I was feeling that way. Maybe I was low on vitamin B or something

[Sano]

I really dont know why he does it either. I think he just likes the attention. Atleast thats the only conclusion I can come up with. When guys flirt with me I immediately tell them I have a bf and shut them down. I dont understand whats so hard about saying I have a gf move along.

[LadyMarchHare]

I really dont know why he does it either. I think he just likes the attention. Atleast thats the only conclusion I can come up with. When guys flirt with me I immediately tell them I have a bf and shut them down. I dont understand whats so hard about saying I have a gf move along.

Some people let it be because they have low self esteems and the attention regardless boosts their confidence. That may be the case here or he may have an ego, I don't know. Either way I think it might be best if you address it with him, let him know how it makes you feel, and ask that he try to tell these girls he's taken or at least blow them off. If it hurts you, it's important he at least try and change it because no one wants to hurt their SO, especially not that way.

[Čternity]

I dont understand whats so hard about saying I have a gf move along.

Have you asked him this? Sounds like the whole thing is a bit lukewarm on his side even though he is reassuring. Is he in this or kinda half committed because it will upset his father and his social standing?

I don't want to appear harsh, I've just seen many relationships where the girl does all the chasing, worrying and second guessing while the guy cruises along, telling her things that are actually hurftful and giving her crumbs here and there to keep her hope up just enough to keep it going. Like you said, how hard is it to say I have a girlfriend move along?

[Sano]

We talked earlier today about it. It was pretty long conversation. He did say he's not concerned about what his father thinks because his opinion is all that matters. I will say that our relationship has improved alot since that week were fighting. I just think we're both more conscious of each other feelings now more than ever.

[Sano]

I kind of set him straight about it earlier today. He said he'll try to be more conscious about what he does but Im actually curious to see if he actually sticks to it

[Heather]

Good luck, keep us posted!