Is she worth it?

[Heavens wolf]

Me and my current girlfriend have been dating long distance for a while.. we've dated and broken up, and dated agian, then keep breaking up. NEver have we gone past 3 months for each time. Now at this moment we're kinda arguing but at a state of just talking and I don't know what to do.. I've cheated on her before a few times but nothing as far as physical more as flirting a lot.

I've been trying to stop but I just don't know what to do here and if I should keep going past our 3 months and for her.. or leave again.. help please?

[Silviar]

Only you can decide if you're willing to commit to the time and effort a relationship, particularly an LDR, requires. If you don't know how to control yourself/don't want to be in a committed relationship, then I would assume such a commitment is not for you.

Good luck whatever you choose.

[AshleyH]

Is she worth it?

Uhm...not to sound mean, but if you're cheating on her, you obviously aren't that attached to her... :/ Thats really not cool, so maybe it is best you guys break up if your cheating and shes fighting...

[Kalmyia]

On again off again isn't necessarily a clear sign that you shouldn't be together. That you are not fully committed to the LDR is a pretty clear sign that you need to at least re-evaluate yourself and your position on why you want to be with this person in the first place. "Is she worth it" is really a byproduct of being interested in her and knowing why you want to be together. Good luck!

[Sano]

I dont really think its a matter of if she's worth or not. I think the issue is more do you to really want to be with her or not. If you're flirting with other girls it doesn't seem like you want to be with her all that much.

[LadyMarchHare]

Asking the question "is she worth it" makes it sound like there's something wrong with her. From what you've told us, you're both equally the problem in that you're for some reason not being able to stay together for more than 3 months at a time. I'd also say you're the problem in that you're wandering off to other girls even if you're not sleeping with them. That right there may be part of the MAIN problem, i.e. your ability to not stay with one another.

As for what to do: Quit going where there's temptation to cheat. I.e. bars, parties, the works. You might also want to try talking out your problems with her, admit you've had wandering eyes (honesty's the best policy), and let her digest that. Problems don't solve themselves, people are not mindreaders, and no one is perfect. Remember those. Just sit her down and say "hey we seem to be having problems, let's find out why because I don't want to lose you again." and go from there.

[TknandLvnIt]

I agree with all that's been said. It seems that the question you posed is something that you would need to answer for yourself. Is she worth it to you? LDR's are a lot of work and you both have to be equally invested and willing to fight for the relationship. The fact that you two are on again off again seems to indicate that you either have major trust issues in your relationship or that neither of you are invested in it. Either way it does not sound like either of you really wants to be in a committed relationship especially if you find yourself flirting with other people...but I think it is worth discussing and deciding if you two are willing to work on a better "us" and make the necessary changes to make your relationship sustainable...hope this helps :-)

[kymckenna]

My opinion, if you're questioning at all something is wrong.. I feel like you have to be completely dedicated and willing to give up things. Nothing is worse then being with someone you really like and they don't feel the same. For her sake, decide and stay with it and don't go back if you leave.

[Richard Marks]

I agree with everything that everyone else has posted. You need to ask yourself some questions before you go any further, starting with "Am I willing to invest in the time and energy that this relationship requires?" A LDR requires far more energy and a far higher level of commitment than a regular relationship. It will cost time, money and effort to keep it alive. And to me the most important part of a LDR is to listen. Listen to what she is saying and then respond.