Gah! I just want to strangle him with my shoe laces!!

[Sano]

Me and my SO talked about the way he chooses to talk to girls earlier this week and we were doing really well. Thursday when he called me our conversation was really short and he said he'd call me after his classes. That was fine I went on business as usual. He didn't call me and I was okay with that, then i didnt hear from him at all yesterday so I thought maybe he was sick so I sent him a couple messages telling him to get better. I was a little worried but not pissed or anything. Then I get a phone call a half hour ago and he tells me he didnt call me because he was helping the girl that likes him with her homework all day. Then he goes on to explain everything they did and how they got there when the library opened and stayed til it closed, went to mcdonalds and stayed until it closed and then finally went back to her house and didnt leave til 3 in the morning ... then went on to describe everything she told him about herself ... I was waiting for him to shut up about her >< Now I can understand helping someone with their homework but all friggiin day and then to not even respond to any of efforts to contact you. I seriously thought he was sick and was feeling bad about bothering him. I just told him I couldn't talk to him right now. So Im going out with my friends and spending the night, I dont think I'll want to talk to him later either considering we've talked about this before ... (too mad to proofread my post)

[LadyMarchHare]

That's.... highly conspicuous. I'm a nice person, I help people if they ask, but I don't ever go that far and I wouldn't with someone I knew liked me while I was in a relationship. That's sending the wrong signals to the girl and it was not only rude of him not to tell you beforehand (surely there was time for a text) but to do such a thing. He has to be aware of the mixed signals he's sending here. You said you guys talked about it already, maybe it's time for another sit-down and laying out some ground rules?

[PaperbackWriter]

That's....suspicious. I agree with LMH, I'd have another chat with him. I can understand working at the library until it closes, but going to McDonalds until IT closes, then to her HOUSE? Nuh uh. If it were me in the situation, that would cross a serious boundary line. Especially with a girl you KNOW likes you. That's just asking for trouble.

All I can really say, is talk to him again. And again. And maybe use a baseball bat to beat in the message that its NOT COOL. (disclaimer: please don't actually do that.)

[michy]

I agree with the above... helping a girl with studies is all fine and good: but for the whole day, and until 3am at HER HOUSE? I don't think there's much justification for that... especially if you know this girl has an interest in him. If it were me, I'd be very uncomfortable and concerned about his motives. I'd talk to him, make sure he knows how you feel about it... and see if you can understand what his thinking was in all this?

[Rugger]

I agree with all the above posters. You NEED to set boundary lines and let him know that what he did is NOT okay with you.

[Stephanieeee]

He was probably just rubbing it in to make you jealous. Very immature.

[Lexi]

He was probably just rubbing it in to make you jealous. Very immature.

that's what I thought too. It sounds to me like he wants you to be jealous.

[Karringtyn]

My response would have been..."and your reason for telling me all of this is...." seen what he said and so forth. I am telling you what..there is NO WAY I would tolerate my SO crossing the line like this. Not replying AT ALL? Nope. Time for a serious chat.

[agentholli]

Wow I'd be ticked. I agree with all that has been said

[Darth_Taco]

Why does he need to mention that this girl likes him or go into detail over everything they did? It sounds like he's trying to make you feel like you're not good enough for him. You posted a thread the other day saying how he goes out of his way to let you know he ignores you for other girls. He's not gonna stop, just dump him. Don't even give him an opportunity to explain, just get rid of him. You don't need this stress in your life.

[paulawriteslove]

I think you should ask him why he told you all of this information. You are his girlfriend, not the other girl. He should be wanting to spend time with you until 3am. Best of luck!

[lucybelle]

Man this sounds like a situation I had before. I was in a semi-LDR (we lived an hour away) and one night I felt like shit. I tried calling my ex-SO like 5 times because I wanted someone to talk to. I was by myself and wanted someone to say everything was okay. He never answered and never called back. Well the next day when I called HIM again, he was talking to me like everything was normal. He had been hanging out with some girl who he called "Jelly". Yes... a girl called JELLY. All night. Until 10 am (when I CALLED him). I was sooooooo pissed and he didn't understand why.

Well what I've learned since then is A) people are sometimes a little dense and you really need to tell them exactly what it is you want and how certain situations make you feel. B) people sometimes do this to make you jealous so that they're feeling wanted by more than one girl.

You have every right to be angry. Tell him how you feel. And make sure it doesn't happen again.

[tiffinnie]

This sucks. Take a mental gun and shoot at his feet until he dances... and make one of those mental bullets puncture the girl in the forehead.

Oh... and then tell your SO that he is putting a huge stresser on your relationship and if he can't respect the boundaries you've set then you two need to be through. you deserve much better! Tell him how you feel exactly, even if its just in a lengthy angry email... and then if it seems like he still doesn't get it when you talk to him, LEAVE HIM! Its for the best in that case.

[milaya]

Like everyone else has said, you really need to discuss this matter with him. About why he even told you this and more importantly that you're not okay with it. Boundaries are certainly needed here. Staying at the library is accepted, but after that things get more and more unacceptable. Especially that he didn't even find the time to contact you.

None of this is fair to you and he certainly need to understand that and make improvements, or else your relationship might be headed towards a critical situation.

I hope things get better.

[Sano]

When I get mad and try to tell him why im upset he always says he doesn't understand why I get so upset because he didnt do anything wrong. Then his voice gets all quivery like he going to cry and then he complains about he can't be with someone who doesn't trust him. So I asked him if he wanted to break up over it and he says no. I went out of town with my friends and he called me so I went outside of our hotel room in the cold to talk to him and stayed outside for a hour to talk about he same thing. He always makes it seem like Im over reacting and he couldn't leave her until 3 because everybody else she asked for help from told her know and he'd feel like a douche unless he was sure she finished. It still pisses me off and I really dont think he gets the message but we did talk and it ended like it usually does ... with both of us crying