Hey Everyone.
Its been a while since I have come back to LFAD mainly due to being ashamed and embarrassed, The last time I was on LFAD I hadn't heard from my SO in three weeks and after posting he sent me a message on facebook that weekend saying how much he missed me and it was hard for him to do anything or spend time with his family because he was missing me etc, he apologized for the lack of communication and he was on his way to his parents house that he was staying at his cousins house. He called me the next day and we talked, but honestly (this is where it gets tough to talk about) he sounded different, of the two years I have known him and been involved with him he and I had always communicated with each other.
I will be honest that for the 15% of our relationship I had problems with talking to him the right way (from accusations, arguing, nagging and being semi controlling because I was scared if there would be a female around him if there was ever that chance). During the 3 weeks of not hearing from him I had promised myself that if I ever had the chance to speak with him I would work on how I spoke to him because I wanted this relationship to really work.
During that weekend (Sunday, September 12th) he just seemed very different and not intimate at all he communicated that he got a job opportunity in Lethbridge (his hometown) and that it would be a couple month job (one of those labor jobs) he asked me how I felt about it and I told him (dispite my insecurities of him being away from his home moving out of his parents house to stay with people that I know think LDR’s are ridiculous, and knowing that his past is in Lethbridge.) I tried to make the best of it and told him that I think it was a great idea for him and a wonderful opportunity to finally work and get out of his parents house, he told him (whispering) “I need to get out of this house and start my life”.
During that time my SO and his mother (she is another story) were constantly arguing and his dad (the only provider of the house/head of the house) was always in the middle of that stress and the stress of supporting my SO, his mom and his mom’s daughter. So that was a lot of stress at the time and I understood his dad’s frustrations and trying to limit the stress so he was always on my SO’s case about getting a job and getting stuff started with his life (I supported this a lot and part of my 15% nagging was him getting on with his life and getting a job but for the most part I was encouraging rather then nagging because he saw me as the example and even told me I inspired him to get his life started.
During that weekend that we spoke things just seemed odd between us, it came down to it that he thought it would be best for us to go on a break (I was extremely scared of that and felt that breaks 75% of the time lead to break ups) he told me that he needs this for himself because the stress of calling me and not being here for me was getting to him and he felt he needs to focus on himself right now and get his life straightened out (I support him with that).
He wanted us to still remain friends during the break because he said he cannot just forget me and throw us away after 2 years and that he needs a good friend right now and that I am his best friend, I was mad about just being friends and said how sure are you that we may get back together and he said 75% and I said why only 75 he said because the 15% would be up to you.
But it just seemed like there was more to it then just that so I brought it out of him trying to get him to tell me more then what he was just saying, he told me that I am too dominating and needy (I was extremely upset and felt that this was something someone had told him from an outsiders opinion).
Mind you the first day I heard from him in 3 weeks he called me and talked for a little bit and he said he was leaving to go jam with one of his buddies so rather then being the old me and saying no and telling him that he’s being ridiculous and needs to talk to me I was very calm (tried to be) and told him to go with peace and said for him to call me when he gets home and to enjoy himself and have fun and that I love him. We said our I love you’s and he left, he called me the next day not that same day.
When he told me what he said about being dominating etc I reminded him of how I feel like he doesn’t see me trying and that the day I heard from him I let him go without fighting him to stay, he got quiet and said I was right and that he’s sorry he was judging me based on how I have been in the past and explained that he does want us to try to work things out. I was still very hurt and I kept feeling something wasn’t right. To make a long story short I was crying because I really felt something was off and I told him “I swear if you have met someone else I hope you guys are extremely miserable and unhappy!” he replied very calmly “well that’s not nice. .” and I replied shocked but said “It wasn’t ment for it to be nice if someone has come in between us causing this.” (I forgot how that call ended) he was the first one after every phone call that weekend to say I love you first. That Sunday (Sept 12th) was the last I heard from him he had chosen to take the job and kept leaving that weekend to go get stuff to get ready to leave (his dad was going to drop him off at his dad’s friend’s house for my SO to stay with up in Lethbridge.) I tried to talk about maybe him getting his passport when he’s working and if he’s home then to see if he can come down for thanksgiving.
I was eating lunch in my dorm’s cafeteria when he called me that Sunday and said he was going to walmart and he’ll be back he had told me before we got off the phone “And yes I would like to plan me coming there for thanksgiving if I have my passport in time.” (he sounded sincere). I felt as if there could be hope but still felt like something was going on but felt like he was trying despite what may be going on out there that he isn’t telling me. He also did have a talk to his dad on how his dad was treating me when he was gone those 3 weeks and his dad apologized to me.
When he came back from walmart it was a short conversation because he was leaving with his dad that day. He told me he loved me and promised me that he would keep in contact with me this time, I asked him are you sure and he said yes that it wouldn’t be like last time. I believed him and we said I love you and that was the last I talked to him. I was under the impression that he had no minutes on his cell phone (at this time I started my nursing so I was determind to really keep my focus etc) my thought at the time was he is doing him and I am doing me so we will get to do us soon.
[4 weeks into it not hearing from him] For some reason I tried to call his cell phone one day and it was ringing but going to a message that I only heard when he had no minutes so I thought nothing of it. One day I called on a Friday night and it was ringing like nothing again except this time he answered but didn’t say hello or anything (sounded like he was in a car going somewhere with someone) he hung up the phone. I was furious so I called again and he picked it up and before he hung it up again I heard a voice of a female quick (I was in too much shock to remember what was being said all I know is they were going somewhere). I called back and his phone was turned off because it wasn’t ringing.
My first thought was to text him and hope he got it so I was angry in the text who wouldn’t be if they were in that situation. He never answered or anything. I talked to his dad later on but obviously his family doesn’t seem to want to give me info they just act surprised. His sister at the time seemed sincere with when she told me that he hasn’t called her and she was upset with him for not doing so, she told me that he doesn’t do this and doesn’t know what is wrong with him. His dad said the same thing (My mind now is his family is full of shit). His sister explained to me that when she went over her parents house and went to my SO’s room she seen that he took his stuff with him but she thought it was sad and weird that he left behind a picture of him and his niece and nephew she was hurt about that and didn’t know why he would leave it behind she thought that maybe he was trying to not miss anyone and stay focused.
There has been a certain number he has been calling, I got the number and called a man is on the voicemail but a women answer’s the number. (This is another story about how I got the number).
October 4th was our 2 year anniversary and he didn’t call me. I was hurt and really didn’t expect that. I decided to stop talking to his family all together and deleted them off my face book, his sister sent me a message asking me why I deleted her and I explained that it was too much and hope she understood and she did but I added her back and deleted her again lol and recently added her again.
My SO’s best friend said he is being a real asshole and that he is never like this and I said I know you are his best friend he told me and his best friend said “some best friend he doesn’t even return my calls etc” His best friend believes there may be a chance that he thinks my SO may be on drugs or something because he is never like this and he said I’m my SO’s first girlfriend that he has ever known about and hes known him since high school and even lived with him and my SO’s dad for a couple years so they were together 24/7 he explained to me how he was in high school and after and that my SO has always been the quiet kind never really a ladies man type always shy etc. His best friend called his dad and my SO’s dad told his best friend the same thing he told me that he was going to be home for Christmas. My SO’s best friend has really been there for me and is extremely mad at how my SO has shut off outsiders like myself and him and even his family until this point.
[Continue To Part 2]
Its been a while since I have come back to LFAD mainly due to being ashamed and embarrassed, The last time I was on LFAD I hadn't heard from my SO in three weeks and after posting he sent me a message on facebook that weekend saying how much he missed me and it was hard for him to do anything or spend time with his family because he was missing me etc, he apologized for the lack of communication and he was on his way to his parents house that he was staying at his cousins house. He called me the next day and we talked, but honestly (this is where it gets tough to talk about) he sounded different, of the two years I have known him and been involved with him he and I had always communicated with each other.
I will be honest that for the 15% of our relationship I had problems with talking to him the right way (from accusations, arguing, nagging and being semi controlling because I was scared if there would be a female around him if there was ever that chance). During the 3 weeks of not hearing from him I had promised myself that if I ever had the chance to speak with him I would work on how I spoke to him because I wanted this relationship to really work.
During that weekend (Sunday, September 12th) he just seemed very different and not intimate at all he communicated that he got a job opportunity in Lethbridge (his hometown) and that it would be a couple month job (one of those labor jobs) he asked me how I felt about it and I told him (dispite my insecurities of him being away from his home moving out of his parents house to stay with people that I know think LDR’s are ridiculous, and knowing that his past is in Lethbridge.) I tried to make the best of it and told him that I think it was a great idea for him and a wonderful opportunity to finally work and get out of his parents house, he told him (whispering) “I need to get out of this house and start my life”.
During that time my SO and his mother (she is another story) were constantly arguing and his dad (the only provider of the house/head of the house) was always in the middle of that stress and the stress of supporting my SO, his mom and his mom’s daughter. So that was a lot of stress at the time and I understood his dad’s frustrations and trying to limit the stress so he was always on my SO’s case about getting a job and getting stuff started with his life (I supported this a lot and part of my 15% nagging was him getting on with his life and getting a job but for the most part I was encouraging rather then nagging because he saw me as the example and even told me I inspired him to get his life started.
During that weekend that we spoke things just seemed odd between us, it came down to it that he thought it would be best for us to go on a break (I was extremely scared of that and felt that breaks 75% of the time lead to break ups) he told me that he needs this for himself because the stress of calling me and not being here for me was getting to him and he felt he needs to focus on himself right now and get his life straightened out (I support him with that).
He wanted us to still remain friends during the break because he said he cannot just forget me and throw us away after 2 years and that he needs a good friend right now and that I am his best friend, I was mad about just being friends and said how sure are you that we may get back together and he said 75% and I said why only 75 he said because the 15% would be up to you.
But it just seemed like there was more to it then just that so I brought it out of him trying to get him to tell me more then what he was just saying, he told me that I am too dominating and needy (I was extremely upset and felt that this was something someone had told him from an outsiders opinion).
Mind you the first day I heard from him in 3 weeks he called me and talked for a little bit and he said he was leaving to go jam with one of his buddies so rather then being the old me and saying no and telling him that he’s being ridiculous and needs to talk to me I was very calm (tried to be) and told him to go with peace and said for him to call me when he gets home and to enjoy himself and have fun and that I love him. We said our I love you’s and he left, he called me the next day not that same day.
When he told me what he said about being dominating etc I reminded him of how I feel like he doesn’t see me trying and that the day I heard from him I let him go without fighting him to stay, he got quiet and said I was right and that he’s sorry he was judging me based on how I have been in the past and explained that he does want us to try to work things out. I was still very hurt and I kept feeling something wasn’t right. To make a long story short I was crying because I really felt something was off and I told him “I swear if you have met someone else I hope you guys are extremely miserable and unhappy!” he replied very calmly “well that’s not nice. .” and I replied shocked but said “It wasn’t ment for it to be nice if someone has come in between us causing this.” (I forgot how that call ended) he was the first one after every phone call that weekend to say I love you first. That Sunday (Sept 12th) was the last I heard from him he had chosen to take the job and kept leaving that weekend to go get stuff to get ready to leave (his dad was going to drop him off at his dad’s friend’s house for my SO to stay with up in Lethbridge.) I tried to talk about maybe him getting his passport when he’s working and if he’s home then to see if he can come down for thanksgiving.
I was eating lunch in my dorm’s cafeteria when he called me that Sunday and said he was going to walmart and he’ll be back he had told me before we got off the phone “And yes I would like to plan me coming there for thanksgiving if I have my passport in time.” (he sounded sincere). I felt as if there could be hope but still felt like something was going on but felt like he was trying despite what may be going on out there that he isn’t telling me. He also did have a talk to his dad on how his dad was treating me when he was gone those 3 weeks and his dad apologized to me.
When he came back from walmart it was a short conversation because he was leaving with his dad that day. He told me he loved me and promised me that he would keep in contact with me this time, I asked him are you sure and he said yes that it wouldn’t be like last time. I believed him and we said I love you and that was the last I talked to him. I was under the impression that he had no minutes on his cell phone (at this time I started my nursing so I was determind to really keep my focus etc) my thought at the time was he is doing him and I am doing me so we will get to do us soon.
[4 weeks into it not hearing from him] For some reason I tried to call his cell phone one day and it was ringing but going to a message that I only heard when he had no minutes so I thought nothing of it. One day I called on a Friday night and it was ringing like nothing again except this time he answered but didn’t say hello or anything (sounded like he was in a car going somewhere with someone) he hung up the phone. I was furious so I called again and he picked it up and before he hung it up again I heard a voice of a female quick (I was in too much shock to remember what was being said all I know is they were going somewhere). I called back and his phone was turned off because it wasn’t ringing.
My first thought was to text him and hope he got it so I was angry in the text who wouldn’t be if they were in that situation. He never answered or anything. I talked to his dad later on but obviously his family doesn’t seem to want to give me info they just act surprised. His sister at the time seemed sincere with when she told me that he hasn’t called her and she was upset with him for not doing so, she told me that he doesn’t do this and doesn’t know what is wrong with him. His dad said the same thing (My mind now is his family is full of shit). His sister explained to me that when she went over her parents house and went to my SO’s room she seen that he took his stuff with him but she thought it was sad and weird that he left behind a picture of him and his niece and nephew she was hurt about that and didn’t know why he would leave it behind she thought that maybe he was trying to not miss anyone and stay focused.
There has been a certain number he has been calling, I got the number and called a man is on the voicemail but a women answer’s the number. (This is another story about how I got the number).
October 4th was our 2 year anniversary and he didn’t call me. I was hurt and really didn’t expect that. I decided to stop talking to his family all together and deleted them off my face book, his sister sent me a message asking me why I deleted her and I explained that it was too much and hope she understood and she did but I added her back and deleted her again lol and recently added her again.
My SO’s best friend said he is being a real asshole and that he is never like this and I said I know you are his best friend he told me and his best friend said “some best friend he doesn’t even return my calls etc” His best friend believes there may be a chance that he thinks my SO may be on drugs or something because he is never like this and he said I’m my SO’s first girlfriend that he has ever known about and hes known him since high school and even lived with him and my SO’s dad for a couple years so they were together 24/7 he explained to me how he was in high school and after and that my SO has always been the quiet kind never really a ladies man type always shy etc. His best friend called his dad and my SO’s dad told his best friend the same thing he told me that he was going to be home for Christmas. My SO’s best friend has really been there for me and is extremely mad at how my SO has shut off outsiders like myself and him and even his family until this point.
[Continue To Part 2]
Comment