What's the most difficult thing in your LDR ?

[agentholli]

LACK OF MONEY!

[Yei&Jon]

Definitely the lack of money. We don't really have any problem with communication and our time difference is of 2 hours - 1 hour in DST.

[LostInLove]

On second thought, I'd like to add lack of support from my parents. Their opinion is important to me, and it's hard to deal with their disapproval.

[LadyMarchHare]

OMG, how do you manage this lack of communication ?
When I don't have at least an email or an SMS a day of my girlfriend, I get mad, I feel unloved... it's probably not the case, but I think I need a lot of communication, that's why sometimes I sleep 4 hours per night...

Have you ever felt that way ?

Well, I know my guy's busy and he can't help it and I know on his days off he has errands and catches up on sleep so I guess I'm just insanely understanding. I don't honestly know how I do it without acting that way, feeling unloved, etc. It's just something I have to deal with and I do.

[blankita719]

His terrible vacation schedule...The company he works for gives them 2 weeks only and they have to be split apart 1 week in the first 6 months and the next in the 2nd part of the year, so he can't take an extra long vacation. And the times he can usually take a vacation aren't always the best times for visits. We've been lucky that we've been able to see each other 3 times in the past 6 months but this last visit he had to work the entire time so I got to stay home and play housewife instead of spending lots of quality time together.

[snow_girl]

The hardest part is not knowing when I am going to see him again. If we had a date set then it would at least give me something to look forward to but right now there is this massive gap of unknown.

[heatherotic]

The hardest part is not knowing when I am going to see him again. If we had a date set then it would at least give me something to look forward to but right now there is this massive gap of unknown.

That's how mine is. I definitely don't have the money to buy a $400 plane ticket, and I don't like the idea of flying on standby because I may plan everything out and not get a seat. :/ This is pretty much my first long-term LDR and it's fk'ing hard. I feel like it's us against the world.

The only reason I don't get discouraged and depressed is because of him. Knowing he loves me makes me positive that I can take on the world and win.

[Moon]

Time difference and vacation time We have a 7 hour time difference, I get home from work around 5:45 - 6:00, and we have just over an hour to talk before he has to go to sleep around 2:00am. Its usually good enough, but there are times when we're having either an awesome or serious conversation and having to hang up isn't fun.

I have 4 weeks vacation, he's got a few more than that. I know that seems like a lot, but I'd like to be able to spend a significant amount of time together, all at once, to really see how it goes with us. In order for us to eventually close the distance, I feel that's very important to make sure we're making the right decision, especially in an international move with so much at stake.

I won't even mention the fact that I have a daughter, who's an adult, and she would stay here. She'd have absolutely no desire to come with me, which is very difficult to think about

[SamiWami]

OMG, how do you manage this lack of communication ?
When I don't have at least an email or an SMS a day of my girlfriend, I get mad, I feel unloved... it's probably not the case, but I think I need a lot of communication, that's why sometimes I sleep 4 hours per night...

Have you ever felt that way ?

ALL THE TIME. I'm still insecure about myself and my place in the relationship. I know he loves me a lot though I do feel unloved sometimes, but there isn't much i can do if he doesn't have internet and that's our only source of communication. If we were able to text that would totally awesome! but unfortunately international texting cost wayyyy more than either one of us can afford. But, like I said, I know he loves me a lot and he's just trying to do what he needs to do to make it on his own. He just moved out of his sister's house and into one with roommates. And he's still kind of new to brazil. So, things are kind of sucky for him.

[FadedSunrise]

Not sure if there is an equivalent to any of your countries, but I found https://us-sms.sina.com/ to text my SO in China. I think this one's specifically for US-China only though. But google it for your countries, and maybe you'll find something?

I broke down and bought texting credit(they give you 5 free, and then I bought 30 bucks for 1000 texts). The way this basically works is that this company creates a Beijing number that sends the text to the person I want it to get to(my SO), and I get it back as email notifications. Not the same as actually texting with my phone, but since texting is the most convenient thing for him, at least I have easier ways to reach him.

[uniquefem]

What's the most difficult thing in your LDR?
1. Time different
I am 6 hours a head him. When he was sleeping i woke up already, when he is at work, i just finish mine. We chat daily, i told him, we can't loose contact.. offline messages if necessary..if he can't make it. He call me sometimes with skype too.

2. Money (from my side)
Well... as someone from 3rd world country.. that work my butt off (read as: already at office at 5.55am and go back to my room at 6.30pm) i only had less than US$350 per month as salary (and my job categorize as good a job with "good" salary). With all expenses including internet bills and phone bills... its crazy to think about visiting him with my own expense.
Schegen visa require me to had at least US$2000 on my bank account to prove i wont be stranded in Europe... but i know he could simply wrote an invitation letters to get the visa. Its just headache... too because i had to fly to Jakarta to go to the embassy.. humm...
Calling him is not a problem.. hes my one and only.. spending something that cheer you up, ease your hectic day..ohh yes.. i wont mind spending for that! but he didn't allow me to! especially when he know how much i pay for the phone calls! he got him self a new cellphone, before he met me, he never had one (yepp.. he is.. that ..weird). I just dont want to be the one who always "wait" the news...
I tried to apply some scholarship to Europe... who knows i could move closer to him... no luck so far..i apply for German and French as i qualified for the scholarship... but.. no news yet.. i wont gave up (want to show him, i could do something too for him!)

3. The "Not Knowing"
It drive me crazy when i don't know about his customs. Hahaha! people do things differently.. and we both from different culture... so, its kind of hard for me to understand why he did things differently... its hard for me to not know where he work, his friends, his family etc. If there are things i dont know.. i will ask him.. i had to know everything about him! (haha sound like psycho?)

4. Lack of Expression
Sometimes i wonder... i thought it suppose to be me.. the naive asian girls, who shy to say things from my heart.. or express my feelings or show how i felt about something. But.. haha he is good in the art of "poker face" on skype/webcam! i dont know how he felt about things! and its more difficult when he is not in front of me! unless if he say it, i wont know how he felt! i am the one who say i love you straight in one breathe.. and he short of like "uhh..uhmm.. ok.. i love you too" or i had to ask him to say it in Russia language.. hahahah it seemed easier for him to say it (and.. hehe i love hear that sound).
He did made progress on that.. and say the love words more often than before... its just sometimes frustrate me to think that i had to remind him to say the words.. (made me confuse if its really from his heart or he just scare i got upset! hahaha)

Apart from not having the possibility to be physically with your partner, if you could change something in your LDR, something that annoys you, or makes it more difficult, what would it be ?

My work... sometimes i know he might think that i am a workaholic... also the fact that most of the workers are male and i live with them for 20 days. Its hard to take vacation as i had to made plan way before like 3-4 months before i go... he is the very last minute person... so its different than me.

[Niecey]

Right now...ALL OF IT!

[DarkSolitary]

Lack of money and lack of support from his parents :/ Even if we both could afford visits there's his parents. His parents practically banned us from seeing each other which is why we haven't met yet. Yes, I could go stay at a hotel there but his parents wouldn't let us see each other :/ I really would love to meet him BEFORE we close the distance in June but it's just not happening...

[Emma-Louise]

Parents. Definitely parents. If I could change one thing it would be their attitude towards our relationship. In their eyes, we're just going to fall apart, but to me and my boyfriend.. There's no end to this. Just eventually being together..

[Silviar]

Apart from not having the possibilty to be physically with your partner, if you could change something in your LDR, something that annoys you, or makes it more difficult, what would it be ?

If I could change something, it would be definitely more money. Right now it's a waiting game for us - we've decided to forgo a trip to visit one another in the first half of 2011 in order for us to close the distance this year. If he gets a job pretty soon, then that's going to hopefully be May. If it takes too long, then we're looking at later this year. I have to have $5k in my bank after paying for my trip expenses and a year of insurance, so I'm trying to save as much money as possible myself.