How do you handle your SO leaving?

[ashleecarol]

3) What things do you do to keep yourself from being upset after you've/they've left?
I like to do something fun, watch some movies I enjoy or play the sims, it keeps me entertained for hours!

Haha, oh my gosh! I seriously have been playing the Sims 3 all day to keep myself distracted. My SO got the game for me for Christmas and I can't put it down...uh oh lol

[LostInLove]

1) How do you handle the split? Are you a crier or are you more like my SO by being more composed or are you something completely different?
I cried the first time he left, but this time I felt really sad but didn't end up crying. I kind of go into denial until the night before, and then I start to feel really down. And I keep feeling down for about a week afterwards. I'm just generally moody and easily upset by little things and I feel a constant need to talk to him.

2) How does your SO handle the split?
He cried before he left the first time :P. This time he seems to be handling it a bit better, but I think he behaves a bit like I do.

3) What things do you do to keep yourself from being upset after you've/they've left?
Keep myself busy! The more stuff I'm doing, the less time I have to dwell on the fact that we're apart. So that can be anything from hanging out with friends to surfing the internet to crocheting hats. Anything to keep my mind busy.

4) For those who have experienced multiple trips with their SO: do you find the split easier as you continue to have trips or are you like me where every split is like the first? Both? Something else?
We've only parted twice so far, and I don't think I can really compare them. The first one was REALLY difficult, but this time I found it a lot easier. However, that might be because it was a very short trip (less time to adjust to being with him) and because I was happy to get to see him at all over the holidays. I think the next trip will be much harder, we'll be together for a lot longer and it'll suck to go back to being apart.

[milaya]

1) How do you handle the split? Are you a crier or are you more like my SO by being more composed or are you something completely different?
I'm a crier. The first time he left I was able to keep my tears back until I was alone, but when it comes to recent visits... well I cry. A lot.

2) How does your SO handle the split?
He's composed. Very. He's the one who puts his arms around me, holds me tight and tells me everything is going to be alright. Once he even said "Hey Isa, I'm not a Kamikaze pilot... I will come back." Wasn't sure if I should laugh or punch him at that time.

3) What things do you do to keep yourself from being upset after you've/they've left?
Think I do left myself be upset for some days. I'm kinda zombie-like. Sleep a lot, watch television, hardly eat, since I can't eat when I'm feeling down (the time I knew we wouldn't see each other for a long time I didn't eat for 3-4 days) and then I don't like to be around people those days. Then my grieving period is over and I try to keep myself busy and look forward to the next time I'll see him.

4) For those who have experienced multiple trips with their SO: do you find the split easier as you continue to have trips or are you like me where every split is like the first? Both? Something else?
For me I think they're the same. Also depends on the time we'll be apart. The time we would be apart for 16 weeks, I cried a lot more than the time we would be apart for 7 weeks. Sometimes it feels like it gets harder... because when he's about the leave, I remember what it was like the other times he weren't with me and I cry even more. Where the first time I was like "7 weeks are not so bad, they'll pass by fast..." Until I after that realized that even a single day without him passes by too slowly.

[kymccloud]

1) How do you handle the split? Are you a crier or are you more like my SO by being more composed or are you something completely different?

I am a crier. No matter how hard I work to hold it back I always end up crying. When I get home or back to my room when he leaves I always break down for the rest of the evening. I can sometimes compose myself enough to find a distraction, but its only a matter of time before something sets off the tears again.

2) How does your SO handle the split?

He is very composed, and he always manages to stay positive. He kisses my tears away and just holds me until he really needs to leave. He hates to see me cry.

3) What things do you do to keep yourself from being upset after you've/they've left?

I watch tv or a movie, play sims, read, talk to friends, clean... anything I can find. (not that it really works)

4) For those who have experienced multiple trips with their SO: do you find the split easier as you continue to have trips or are you like me where every split is like the first? Both? Something else?

My SO and I are only 200 miles apart, so I get to see him more. I know what some might think... oh she's lucky... but if you think about it I also have to say 'good-bye' more. For me goodbyes are NEVER easy no matter the amount of time until I see him again. I'm not looking forward to leaving my SO's this Sunday

[mllebamako]

Once he even said "Hey Isa, I'm not a Kamikaze pilot... I will come back." Wasn't sure if I should laugh or punch him at that time.

That is so awesome haha

[amandamayaaa]

i hateee having to deal with me leaving him or him leaving me.. it's terrrible! i just left my SO after 2 weeks of being there for the holidays on jan 1st.. and i'm still having hard time

eric and i are both criers.. which i like because i like that he isn't afraid to show his true emotions around me

when i leave him(like i did this time) he usually cries the minute i leave.. because he'll go home and be in his house without me, and realize how much i'm not there.. and i usually don't cry until i actually get home from flying.. because thats when it really hits me that i'm home.. without him

i usually cry the next few days after we leave each other, and then i get back into the routine of being without him.. but it never feels ok

i try and get back into doing my own thing and keeping myself busy, work and school help as well

and no it never gets easier for either one of us.. we thought it would, because we'd just get used to saying bye, but it sucks just as much every single time, and i always say how it's just not fair that we have to go through this.. buuut he's moving here in august and i can't wait!

[threecheers9980]

1) How do you handle the split? Are you a crier or are you more like my SO by being more composed or are you something completely different?
I'm a crier, but I try not to cry since I know it makes him feel bad.

2) How does your SO handle the split?
He gets sad, but he stays composed.

3) What things do you do to keep yourself from being upset after you've/they've left?
I just let myself be upset for a bit. Then I just distract myself until that night. It's about a 5 hours drive between us, so he's usually able to make it home and hop online to talk to me for a bit.

4) For those who have experienced multiple trips with their SO: do you find the split easier as you continue to have trips or are you like me where every split is like the first? Both? Something else?
It hasn't gotten easier for me and I don't think it will. I'm going to visit him next month and I think coming home is going to be even harder for me.

[Dziubka]

So even though I'm still at my boyfriend's he left today.
And like always, I don't 'handle' it at all. I don't know if it has gotten better with time, but it has become different. Knowing that we will see each other again and now knowing that I'll see him again in two weeks is sort of helping, but it's still so damn painful.

The first time we parted and when we began to be LDR I cried for a few days. Everytime anything reminded me of him, I'd break into tears. I couldn't even properly read the texts he send me, because as soon as I saw they were from him, the tears came.
In the beginning I also used to cry up to a day before I/he even left. Now I can pretty much usually hold it until our last night together, which I will normally spend crying myself to sleep.
My boyfriend doesn't cry. at all. He tells me not to cry, ans asks me why I have to go though and tells he to stay (which obviously makes me cry even more) everytime, though. So I know that it's just as hard for him. It was only yesterday that he told me that it's really just a phase and that in two years at the latest we will be living together and that other LDR couples see each other less than we do do and so on. But really, this might sound harsh, only because others have it worse, it doesn't make it easier for me. It still hurts just the same.

[Anolinde]

The only visit we had lasted 2 glorious months, we decided to make the best of the trip and stay a while because we knew it'd be long before another, this one almost didn't happen. And I was the one that left, not him. I actually had to push him away to get in the cab ;3; Which hurt SO badly, I felt horrible. He admitted later though that it was good I did because he couldn't let me go T_T Then when I got to the bus I got a seat in the very back and cried quietly. On the trip home I fell asleep and woke up thinking I was still in bed beside him and I realized I was on the bus still, it was so upsetting. I had to force myself not to cry, because I thought it'd be harder for us, we both had tears in our eyes, it was so hard, I could tell he was being brave for my sake too, he's not afraid to cry, I love that about him.

[South89]

I know I have been very uspet the last two days cause I said goodbye to my boyfriend yesterday after spending a week with him. I know I can't complain much cause we are only four hrs away so we see each other every month for two days and this month we spent a week together. It's stil hard though saying goodbye I know I get very sad and upset. I said goodbye yesterday and I"m still down and upset and crying I hate goodbyes. I think the hardest part is just watching him drive away I can't stand that feeling. I will try to answer your questions the best way I can.
1) How do you handle the split? Are you a crier or are you more like my SO by being more composed or are you something completely different?
I cry a lot the whole day I cry before he leaves me and after he leaves and I usually cry for a few days. I fell very lonely and sad and wishing I was with him and not stuck in college. I'm so bad that I even have a hard time spending two days with him cause the whole time I'm thinking about him leaving soon. You just need to realize that you will see your SO one day and my bf tells me just to get through these few yrs and when I'm done with college I get him forever, so good thoughts like that helps.

2) How does your SO handle the split?
My SO handles it so well and I wish I was like him. He doesn't cry at all he just hates that I'm crying and am upset. He hugs me and says he will miss me, but never really crys. Yesterday though it was the hardest it has ever been for us to say goodbye cause we were with each other for a week, so he was really sweet and called me right away making sure I was ok.

3) What things do you do to keep yourself from being upset after you've/they've left?
I just think good thoughts and think that one day I won't have to do this long distance and well be wtih him forever. Good thoughts help a lot and also talking to him. I don't know how your condition is, but if you can call him that helps to hear his voice. My SO left me a voicmail message on my phone when I was at his house saing he loves me and promies to be with me forever. So, everytime I'm sad I listen to that message and I hold the two teddy bears he got me.

4) For those who have experienced multiple trips with their SO: do you find the split easier as you continue to have trips or are you like me where every split is like the first? Both? Something else?
I think they get harder cause the longer you are dating your SO the more you want to be with them and love them. Like I have been dating my SO for a yr and this time was the hardest casue we spent a whole week together which we never get to do. Also, we decided that we want to get married one day and started making plans. So, we are very in love right now and it was very hard to say goodbye.
Hope I helped a little bit and didn't talk to much about me just upset right now and missing my SO. Good Luck and I hope everything works out for you and your SO.

[laurensings]

1) "How do you handle the split? Are you a crier or are you more like my SO by being more composed or are you something completely different?"
my boyfriend moved after we had been in a same-city relationship for a year, so yes, it was very hard for me. i am not really a crier, but i am kind of a moper. i spent all summer being really bored (besides a really cool vacation i took!) and not really feeling up to doing much of anything. what cheered me up was talking to him about it because he felt the same way and was missing me, too!

2) "How does your SO handle the split?"
it was hard for him, too; it still is, because he was moving to a completely new place!...an 'existential nightmare,' as he put it once. and of course just missing each other in general is a big theme, but we talk often and he just visited at christmas! we make it work as best as we can

3) "What things do you do to keep yourself from being upset after you've/they've left?"
oh, wow. i tried so many things, but nothing but time really helped. it takes time. don't tire yourself out trying frantically to forget about your broken heart; it will only make you more upset, i promise! don't fixate on it, but don't try to pretend it isn't there. the pain heals with time!

4) "For those who have experienced multiple trips with their SO: do you find the split easier as you continue to have trips or are you like me where every split is like the first? Both? Something else?"
i find the split much, much easier. after taylor visited, i felt so much more...lightweight! i was and still am a happier person after we've spent time together again it is such a pick-me-up.

[October987]

1) How do you handle the split? Are you a crier or are you more like my SO by being more composed or are you something completely different?
I'm definitely the crier. I always feel like my world is just caving in around me when he has to leave.

2) How does your SO handle the split?
It's certainly hard on him. I've seen him shed several tears. The first trip, when he had to leave, was certainly the worst for him (Crying wise)

3) What things do you do to keep yourself from being upset after you've/they've left?
It doesn't matter if I try to keep myself occupied with something else or not, when he leaves, I miss him like crazy and I can't hide it. But I do have 2 young children and life must go on.

4) For those who have experienced multiple trips with their SO: do you find the split easier as you continue to have trips or are you like me where every split is like the first? Both? Something else?

In my opinion, it doesn't get easier, still hurt so much.

[sabby64]

) How do you handle the split? Are you a crier or are you more like my SO by being more composed or are you something completely different?

It depends, most of the time I go into denial until 12 or so hours before we split and then I'm either really optimistic or completely bawling my eyes out. This last time was the worst though, I ended up having a panic attack, in front of him even. Not fun. I always hold it in when I'm actually leaving though, but as soon as I get home or he drives away there's bound to be sobbing.

2) How does your SO handle the split?

I honestly don't think it bothers him. He's not used to being in a relationship and having someone around, so when I leave nothing really changes for him. He gets a little sad sometimes but that's about it.

3) What things do you do to keep yourself from being upset after you've/they've left?

Video games mostly, blogging, watching something funny... Nothing works though. And I don't have a 'normal' routine so I can't really get back into being alone. My routine is just distracting myself until my next visit really.

4) For those who have experienced multiple trips with their SO: do you find the split easier as you continue to have trips or are you like me where every split is like the first? Both? Something else?

The first was actually fairly easy, since we had only been going out for three weeks. It's getting progressively harder and harder as time goes on though. And this was a 3 week visit, so I kind of got used to having him there, and being alone again sucks. And to make it worse he's back home which means he has alllll his friends to occupy his time with now. He's had no time to talk to me since I left because they all heard I left and invited themselves over.

[Annie]

1) How do you handle the split? Are you a crier or are you more like my SO by being more composed or are you something completely different?
I am most certainly a crier. I hold it together better when I am the one leaving but it is always a struggle to say goodbye. This last time he left (last night) I sobbed for good hour. I HATE goodbyes.

2) How does your SO handle the split?
He is very stoic about the whole thing but ends up "having something in his eye" before he actually leaves.

3) What things do you do to keep yourself from being upset after you've/they've left?
I have to jump into some activity to take my mind off of him leaving. My dog is normally the focus of my new search for distraction. I got her when I know my SO would be moving. Bailey (the dog) helps to fill a small part of the void he left. Call me a crazy dog lady, I love spending time with my dog second only to spending time with my SO.

4) For those who have experienced multiple trips with their SO: do you find the split easier as you continue to have trips or are you like me where every split is like the first? Both? Something else?
Goodbyes don't get any easier with frequency. It is a bit easier when we already have our next visit scheduled. We are both very busy with our jobs and have limited vacation time. When we don't have our next trip scheduled I have a hard time not feeling like our LDR is never ending.

[heatherotic]

1) How do you handle the split? Are you a crier or are you more like my SO by being more composed or are you something completely different?
I bawled my eyes out. I was a complete wreck all day and I wouldn't let go when I was finally about to get on the bus. I had to force myself to get on the stupid thing and I had to remind myself that it would make things easier in the future if I did the responsible thing.

2) How does your SO handle the split?
He was ok for the most part, but when we were at the bus station, I broke down and was crying profusely, which set him off. He can't stand to see or hear me cry.

3) What things do you do to keep yourself from being upset after you've/they've left?
I read. A lot. And for a while, I avoid listening to "our songs." I text him, look at the pictures we took, and read whatever little notes he left me. But it still sucks for at least a week.