:( need help.

[xsomanymilesx]

my boyfriend lives in canada, and i live in england, hes currently working full time in canada to support him enough to get a flat in the uk, and get a job.

hes planning to come in august, which gives him around 7 months of saving. but im worried that he wont get a job when he comes here and have to go back home to his parents then where will we be?

has anyone else been in this situation of your SO moving to where you live trying to find work? what happend for you ? did it work out?

and does anyone have any advice on how to cope with this stressful process?

[Stina83]

Yeah that's a really stressful situation you're going through. I haven't done that with my bf (yet), so I don't know much about it. But how about looking at job sites before he moves to england? Maybe he'll get lucky. I guess no one can ever really know what's going to happen in the future, and moving to another country is definitely a chance to take.
If he doesn't get work right away, will you be able to support him for a while?

[mllebamako]

I think that he should save up a whole extra "emergency fund" for at least 3-6 months of living without any income. Have you guys done research on how easily he will be able to get a job in your country? Will he even have the legal right to work? I would suggest that he figures out the legal stuff and then tries to make some contacts in his field of work before moving.
Like you said, you wouldn't want him to make a big move and then have to go back home because he can't support himself. It's better to take his time and make sure it's done right (ie enough money saved up and legal issues worked through)

[Rugger]

My boyfriend moved in with me hoping to find a job. To make a long story short, He didn't. He moved back home.

It's not the worst thing in the world, If anything it was just a long visit.

[Cucaratcha]

Where are you from in the UK ?
Because I think he can get a job quite easily in London in a restaurant or in Starbucks/Costa/Nero without any experience... Of course it's not the perfect job, but a good way to make money until he gets a better one.
I say easily, because in the school I was learning english, quite a lot of student I met there were working in those kind of places.
I'm sure it will be ok for you guys

[snow_girl]

I am in a similar situation. I am from Canada and he is from England. He came here in the fall for a visit and looked around for jobs in his field but had a hard time finding anything. He is back in England now waiting for the visa applications to open which is supposed to be med Jan. I am working my butt off right now just incase he decides that its not worth getting a visa here now if he is going to have trouble finding work, so I will go there. Ideally he would find an international company to work for so that after my uk visa expires he could possiblly transfer to an office in Canada. Sometimes though I feel like this is impossible and it will never work. Just have to stay positive I guess.

[Stina83]

Yeah, definitely stay positive! It's easy to find yourself fed up with all the problems, I know I do. The distance itself sucks, but the real problems are the ones that come once you're trying to close the distance. Hang in there! You can do it!
And like Cucaratcha said, I'm sure there'll be some sort of work for him, maybe in hotels or restaurants even, until he finds a job in his field. I've also seen websites that look for labor in those places, from other countries.

[Richard Marks]

OK it a hard one, I moved from the UK to the USA to be with my wife. I would suggest the following:

1. Research the Visa's, they cost some but are worth it if he is planning a permanent move. Luckily it should be easier than for most people as Canada is part of the commonwealth.
2. Save up an emergency fund, you will need it as there is a good chance he will not be working right off (I spent 9 months in the USA before I got my green card/work permit, and both came at the same time)
3. Be prepared for some tough times anyway, finances to begin with will be tight.
4. When he comes, tell him not to be too proud to accept any job, even if it is working for wal-mart or starbucks. Any job is worthwhile to begin with and will give him a chance to get on his feet and help out on the bills. Plus another job in his field will probably open up down the line.
5. PRAY (this should really be no 1), Prayer is always imprtant anyway but in a situation like this it becomes more important. If God wills, then it will happen.

[lucybelle]

Like everyone else said, you need to find out if he can get a work visa. I don't know how it is for Canadians, but I know for USA citizens it's fairly difficult to get a work visa inside the EU. And if he's planning on working he'll need one. I know someone who got deported from the UK after working there without a correct visa. So he should probably start the visa process now.

My SO is moving in with me in a month or so, and he was unable to get a work visa. He has a good amount of savings to support himself somewhat. What we've decided is that I will continue paying rent and bills up to the point where I would be doing it anyways. Does this make sense? So like my rent is 500$ a month, and my bills are about 40$ combined. I'll still pay that every month. But if the bills start to go up, he needs to pay the extra. So if my bills go up to 50$ a month, I'll pay the 40$ and he'll pay the 10$. And help with buying food. So that way I'm not losing any extra money, and he won't be stressed out trying to pay bills when he doesn't have a job.

Maybe you can come up with something like that for you two. Also, make sure he does a lot of research about getting a job over there. I'm going to be going back down with my SO once his visa runs out and I've applied to 8 jobs in his country already.

[Yorkshire Girl]

Hey =)
My SO is from South Africa, which is a Commonwealth country. He applied for the ancestral visa, as his grandparents were British. This visa is semi permanent and lasts for 5 years, it also has a work permit included. After the 5 years, he is eligible to apply for permanent residency, as long as he has not left the UK for more than 3 months per year. You can apply from Direct.gov, but you have to apply from your own country. You apply online, they send you for an interview, were you prove you have either parents or grandparents from the UK, show them bank accounts to show that you are finacially in a good place, and they take your biometrics (eyes, and fingerprints). This visa would be good if he has any British relatives.
If not then he would have to apply for a British work permit, but these can be very expensive and difficult to obtain. You sometimes have to have a residential address were he will be living for them to grant the visa. They wont allow him a visa unless he has a residential address.
One thing is for sure, he cannot come over without a visa to work. If he does and gets caught he could get banned from the country for 10 years. This is the information we received when looking at visas for my SO Hopes this helps, and if you need any help just message me. I have quite a lot of experience when it comes to british visas, as a lot of my SO's racing team mates are from all over the world.

[laurensings]

hang in there! many companies have features where you can apply online on their website, so he might even find a couple good-looking openings before he moves to england.

[Mizpah]

I was the one moving, and it was not easy for me to find a job in the crappy economy of an Army instillation town. It took six months, but I found one, and I didn't move back because that wasn't an option for me with my family situation and my now-husband provided for me. I can't give you any guarantees, but as long as he is open to even positions that aren't the most ideal and stalks indeed.com and Help Wanted Ads, he should be able to find something Best wishes!

[xsomanymilesx]

thanks for all your advice
we dont have to worry about visas because hes french canadian so an EU citizen. so he is a resident anways, he just needs to apply for a working permit which his uncle said is easy to get. so its not so much worrying about visas more than the actual fact of getting a job once hes here to support himself.
hes coming to see me in february,. then after that not again til august. so he has a good 7 months to save up money. i guess theres nothing i can do right now problematically. but its more the emotional strain and worry i am trying to deal with
thankyou for all your advice though, its really helped me in one way or anothher.

[xsomanymilesx]

oh and i also live in manchester,

[Dziubka]

I don't really have advice, but my boyfriend and I are sort of in a similar situation. We're both EU residents and at least I could just go and work in his country. I could finish me degree this year, so we had planned that I move over, work for a year and then get my master's degree there.
I'm really scared about the job situation, though. It's true what other's have said. I don't know but I guess in the UK he could probably get by working at Starbucks, McDonald's, etc. While that might be crap jobs, especially for someone who has a university degree, it's always an option until he can find something better.
My boyfriend's Polish, though. The incomes over there, especially in low skill jobs, are so incredibly low, that there's no way I could support myself from (even) fulltime working at a Coffee Shop-Job
Like I said, no advice... but maybe it makes you feel better to know that you're not alone in that situation. A lot of us have the same problem when trying to close the distance.