The past few days, other things have gotten in the way of us talking or talking for long, so I feel a bit off in general.
Tomorrow will be our ten month anniversary. Again, wasn't expecting anything big (even a text would be nice), but it seems like he has forgotten totally. I have been wondering lately about him not discussing hanging out with his friends at all and then today, out of the blue, he said to me (in a tone that would suggest he knew he was letting me down by not necessarily calling, etc.) that he was going out to have dinner with G tomorrow. I guess that she had to put her long-time family pet (a dog) down around New Year's and, so, he thought that he "should check up on her."
I am a person who completely loves animals and very much understand her sadness and think it is really gallant of him to be there for her. On the other hand, though, I find myself feeling increasingly sad that he didn't acknowledge at all that plans for any sort of anniversary talk or movie date or whatever should be made for another day or even apologize that he was bagging out on our anniversary. ...and, yes, old habits die hard with my jealousy issues over G, but I do feel like I have a reason to feel this way this time. You see, the summer before last was when my SO was all hot and cold and did some hurtful things (and I was head over heels for him), when he wasn't ready to be anything close to an official LDR, but it was also when two cats I had had for about 16 years died. They were brother and sister and the first to go was the brother. He was such a fighter and seemed better some days and not so the other days, so we didn't take him to a vet and he basically died next to me (he steeply declined that day and it was too late to move him). It did give me closure to be with him, but it really haunts me. The female pined away for him and became unwell, as well, and so we elected (along with the vet's advice) that she should be put down. At the time, though, I told my SO (who wasn't, I guess, my SO then) how sad I was about missing them and he just gave me some rather abrupt and callous response...and even after we are a couple and much closer, kinder, etc., he has never apologized for his reaction...but here G gets taken out to dinner and fawned over and on his and my anniversary?
Blah, I'm crying now and feel like eating a pound of chocolate (it could also be that I couldn't sleep all last night and had to work today).
Is it okay that I feel sad and jealous about this? Should I say anything about how I feel or will that be tacky since she is sad/ or close him off even more about talking about time spent with friends? I was certainly graceful to him on the phone and even shared my condolences for her (genuinely, I'm serious!), and acknowledged that we may not talk tomorrow (didn't bring up anything about the anniversary or the jealousy stuff), but I started to feel like I just wanted to clam up and get off of the phone.
Tomorrow will be our ten month anniversary. Again, wasn't expecting anything big (even a text would be nice), but it seems like he has forgotten totally. I have been wondering lately about him not discussing hanging out with his friends at all and then today, out of the blue, he said to me (in a tone that would suggest he knew he was letting me down by not necessarily calling, etc.) that he was going out to have dinner with G tomorrow. I guess that she had to put her long-time family pet (a dog) down around New Year's and, so, he thought that he "should check up on her."
I am a person who completely loves animals and very much understand her sadness and think it is really gallant of him to be there for her. On the other hand, though, I find myself feeling increasingly sad that he didn't acknowledge at all that plans for any sort of anniversary talk or movie date or whatever should be made for another day or even apologize that he was bagging out on our anniversary. ...and, yes, old habits die hard with my jealousy issues over G, but I do feel like I have a reason to feel this way this time. You see, the summer before last was when my SO was all hot and cold and did some hurtful things (and I was head over heels for him), when he wasn't ready to be anything close to an official LDR, but it was also when two cats I had had for about 16 years died. They were brother and sister and the first to go was the brother. He was such a fighter and seemed better some days and not so the other days, so we didn't take him to a vet and he basically died next to me (he steeply declined that day and it was too late to move him). It did give me closure to be with him, but it really haunts me. The female pined away for him and became unwell, as well, and so we elected (along with the vet's advice) that she should be put down. At the time, though, I told my SO (who wasn't, I guess, my SO then) how sad I was about missing them and he just gave me some rather abrupt and callous response...and even after we are a couple and much closer, kinder, etc., he has never apologized for his reaction...but here G gets taken out to dinner and fawned over and on his and my anniversary?
Blah, I'm crying now and feel like eating a pound of chocolate (it could also be that I couldn't sleep all last night and had to work today).
Is it okay that I feel sad and jealous about this? Should I say anything about how I feel or will that be tacky since she is sad/ or close him off even more about talking about time spent with friends? I was certainly graceful to him on the phone and even shared my condolences for her (genuinely, I'm serious!), and acknowledged that we may not talk tomorrow (didn't bring up anything about the anniversary or the jealousy stuff), but I started to feel like I just wanted to clam up and get off of the phone.
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