I cheated

[Karringtyn]

I just have to say...I can't BELIEVE your therapist told you that you shouldn't have told her. *shakes head*....I could go on and on with this thought but I will spare you.

I have been down this road...and being honest is the ONLY thing that brought me eventual healing...

[Scottyent]

I know right? I was a little confused at this myself. I actually got her email last night sometime after I told my girlfriend, and I didnt even read it because I thought I knew it would say tell her tell her tell her. But when I read it this morning, i was very surprised.

I'm glad that I told my girlfriend, and at least the part my therapist said about a dark saboteur inside that is causing me to ruin my happiness, that part has helped me a lot because I see that pattern over my entire life, and I've just never faced it. Maybe this is the catalyst I finally needed to face whats wrong within myself and let myself finally be happy. i just hope that I can do this with the woman I love, and not have to start over again and spend a long time trying dates that don't even come close to matching up.

[folclor]

yeah, you definitely did the right thing in telling her. Don't listen to your therapist on that.

[Karringtyn]

I know right? I was a little confused at this myself. I actually got her email last night sometime after I told my girlfriend, and I didnt even read it because I thought I knew it would say tell her tell her tell her. But when I read it this morning, i was very surprised.

I'm glad that I told my girlfriend, and at least the part my therapist said about a dark saboteur inside that is causing me to ruin my happiness, that part has helped me a lot because I see that pattern over my entire life, and I've just never faced it. Maybe this is the catalyst I finally needed to face whats wrong within myself and let myself finally be happy. i just hope that I can do this with the woman I love, and not have to start over again and spend a long time trying dates that don't even come close to matching up.

"trying to ruin my happiness"

^^^ This. This was what I have done ALL my life. Breaking the cycle will eventually lead to a different life...

[Scottyent]

well, we just talked, for about two hours about all of this. I wrote her a letter that explained some of my thoughts, and how much I love her, and how much I need her in my life. After all of it, she has decided to stay with me, because our love is too strong to be broken, and she believes that we are deserves a second chance. We talked a lot about why I did it and what is wrong in my life, and the negative cycle that I have. And how I'm going to break it just like karringtyn did. I'm going to spend this semester and the summer working towards finishing my degree so that I can move there an be with her, and I have told her that I will not be drinking alcohol anymore. She told me she would never tell me that I couldn't, but she appreciates what that means to me.

She also eventually said that she acknowledged how hard it was and what it meant for me to tell her instead of lie to her. She is in noway proud or saying oh what a great thing, but she realizes what that means, and that I have to be honest with her, and that I love her so much that I put the possibility of losing her out there just to be honest with her.

The love we share is incredibly strong, and although it has been tested (and will be for quite awhile), we have both made it clear that we want to continue with this because we think that we owe it to ourselves, and we believe we can make it back and have the life we wanted. I am not a religious man, but I will make it a point to thank god everyday, or whatever entity has given this gift to me, and I will start every single day thinking of every single last thing that I can do to show this woman that she is who I want to be with forever.

[christiandating]

That's great news. Definately bad advice from your therapist lol.

Now that she has said she wants to be with you, it gives you a chance to SHOW everything you said you would do. It gives you a chance to show that even though what happened was terrible, the result is that now you are a changed and much better, much more commited man.

God bless and good luck!