Completely numb...

[Paris]

Thank you. I won't lie I'm nervous. I don't know when to tell him that I have tickets. I have the dates already and will probably either tell him the day before I leave or sooner, not sure lol Trying to figure that out. I told him I would be back this month but didn't say when. He said nothing so he knows I will be there. I hust have to figure out how and when to tell him I am either there or on my way.

[Silviar]

I think it's fair ot give him a few days head's up - doesn't he need ot arrange for some time off?

[Paris]

I will be there long enough to where he will have days off. I would never ask him to miss work. I know he was bothered by cancelling a couple trips while i was there because he had to work. I told him the fact he thought of it meant alot. I understand he works and can't just take off when he wants. I will have time to see him. I know the hours he works and I only need a few. Depending on what happens, I might leave right after i see him or I might stay. I have a week but if things dont work out I will just leave.

It's been really hard on me. I miss him alot, more than I would have if this didn't happen. Not knowing what he feels right now bothers me although I feel like it bothers him as much as it does me. I just need to know for sure and that requires seeing him. So for now I have to keep myself busy, which is hard. I am always thinking about him and every moment we had together. I rethink everything he has ever said and none of this makes sense. I feel going there will give me the answers. If it doesnt then I dont know what. I guess I will have to deal with it somehow.