advice for when the get going gets...well...rough

[nic&matt]

Just time to post your little secrets, your special ingredients that make a relationship.

What do you do when the distance just gets to be a lot. Not saying anything about arguing or thinking of parting but just...being overwhelming sad not being with them and when you both are sad together? Any advice for when you just want the distance to end but still have a long way to go?

Feel free to include stories and expirence!

[AllieBaba]

Whenever I'm feeling down... I talk to him. He makes me feel so much better. It's impossible to cry when we're on the phone because two seconds after i start crying, he's already making me laugh and making me feel better... I don't even know how he does it.

Another thing I do is just think about the future, it makes me feel good knowing that everything we're doing now will be worth it when we're finally together, forever.

[LostInLove]

I often send my SO a text saying I'm really missing him, and he'll text something to make me feel better. But even then, I usually just let myself be sad. I think about how awesome it would be if we were living together, make plans for our next trip, just take a while and focus on all the things I wish were happening RIGHT NOW! And then most of the time my SO and I talk before he goes to bed, and I'll mope a bit then too. By the next day I usually feel better.

I've heard of people recording their voice for their SO, I'm going to get The Boy to do that for me when I visit him so that I can listen to his voice even if we can't talk on the phone.

[Butterfly]

Skyping seems to help so much. I usually find that whenever it gets really hard, just having that face-to-face interaction makes it all worth it again and gets me out of my funk.

It allows me to feel that deep connection that I miss from when we're together.

[EmSeattle]

I'm in that funk right now. The only thing I can do is try to busy myself so I don't think about it too much. Or I just think about the moment when I get to see him again. That always makes me smile. I wish I could talk to him whenever I miss him, but the time difference and our busy schedules conflict. Is scheduling time to talk too much too soon?

[TknandLvnIt]

Hearing his voice helps or Skype but when we are both bummed and really missing each other we will start a text story about what we would be doing in some fantasy...taking a nap going to the beach something beautiful. We talk to each other about why its worth it or send each other pictures...but a lot of times just hearing each others voice helps

[Sarah M]

Talking with him helps. We only Skype once a week with video. It's never x-rated simply because it's not the same unless we're together. If we can't talk and I'm lonely while he's asleep (our time differences go from 11 hours to ten to nine) I work on our journal together, or I listen to music. Going for a walk while listening to songs that make me think about him really helps! I have a cry, but then the exercise endorphins kick in and I start thinking positive thoughts. Works really well, come to think of it. Photos and little emails help, too.

And @EmSeattle, scheduling Skype dates was the only way Matt and I would actually get onto Skype and properly talk. Otherwise I'd keep putting it off. Especially while I lived at college, because it was just so difficult to talk to him and do all the things with my friends I wanted to. I was a horrible girlfriend last year! Haha!

[Silviar]

the little things really count when it gets rough. My SO sends me an email wishing me good morning every day when I don't wake up in time to talk to him (which is most mornings). His kisses, and love, whether it's paragraphs or a few sentences, just make my morning like no other.

Let yourself have a good cry sometimes, then give yourself some time to really enjoy something NOT SO related. Then give yourself some time to enjoy something related to your SO once you've come off from the precipice.

[kasia516]

i try to keep myself really really busy when i get sad, but i do things for him, like write a letter or work on a scrapbook. that lets me think about all the fun times we had and why i love him so much, so it always makes me feel better.

[Micah]

Write letters or call him up and talk about how much I miss him, which he then gives me words of reassurance to let me know all is okay. I actually play piano and sing, so sometimes I will record him a video song, or I will use singing as a way to let out some emotions.

[nic&matt]

Thanks all for the help! I'm defintely a big Skype fanatic myself. Those are all good things to cope with the feeling of loss

[murphfan51]

When he is online on yahoo messenger, I cant help but get a smile come across my face, talking to him always helps! Skype is the best though!
And when he is busy I lose myself in a book or write poetry!

[Hannahbaby16]

Well, since we've never met and him being a guy, i think the distance is harder on him than it is on me. Being that he broke up with me once because of the distance but, then he relized that no matter how far i am, i'm still HIS. He claims he can't live without me and he wants to marry me someday but the distance really does bother both of us. We try to get through it though by keeping busy and talking about other things than the distance.

It just really scares me sometimes when he gets overwhelmed by the distance because of well, the break up.
I'm always afraid he's going to do it again but all seems to be going well right now. Only time will tell.♥

[LadyEcstsasy]

When we start getting really down about not being able to see each other - although it's usually me who gets bummed first - we just talk to each other for a while, tell each other how much we love each other and that it's worth it, that we can make it. Just hearing him say those things makes me feel ok again, makes me want to be strong because I know he has faith in me.

[Morti]

This:

The only thing I can do is try to busy myself so I don't think about it too much. Or I just think about the moment when I get to see him again. That always makes me smile.

Particularly the first bit, actually. It's important to have your own life and make the best of the time you have. As well as a useful distraction and making the time go faster, you'll probably also find that you feel better later for accomplishing things. Accomplishment aside, though, it's also important to have something that you enjoy separate from your SO so that your happiness and joy isn't totally dependent on them. I think LDRs can only really work if you're able to entertain yourself otherwise the distance and the dependency will wreck you both.

My two cents.