Why is everyone breaking up?

[__ms.jaye]

I guess the title really says it all. In no means did I ever intend to break it off with my SO and in a lot of ways I wish I wouldn't have and that we would have tried to fix it... But at the same time in retrospect I feel that he did not put any effort in to trying to fix it when I did try.

So I guess what I'm really wondering is
Why is everyone breaking up all around the same time?
If you and your SO did break up for what reason(s)?
Do you regret it?

This also can apply to those who are currently in a relationship broke up with their SO and either found their way back to one another or split for good.

Thanks guys!

[BabyGund]

*sigh* I can tell you what he said at the time....

We had a lot of miscommunication over about 2-3 weeks in December. We spoke and he said he just couldn't do this anymore, he couldn't do long distance, every time he did it ended in disaster. He wasn't sure if it was him, or if it was too soon after his divorce. He said if we were having this many problems now, how would we get along later...

He also admitted he was just having a hard time dealing in general. His work was driving him literally mad, he was emotional because it was the first Christmas without his mom and his ex-wife. He was just shutting down. I was going thru my own emotional time, dealing with the anniversaries of deaths in my family, my first Christmas without my ex, my own work issues, making a very hard decision in regards to the failing health of my mom - and I was trying to share burdens and he just didn't want to do that.

I was crushed, though I tried to not appear like I was to him. I had felt him pulling away in those weeks and I assumed there was someone else. He assured me there wasn't - that he was barely functioning himself, much less anyone else. We said our goodbyes and I thought that was it. I was bawling and calling all my girlfriends from the house phone.

Within 5 mins, he was texting me. And we were being our silly goofy selves, as usual. And that continued for the next month. For the first two weeks, I sat around, waiting for him to say he was wrong and had changed his mind - never happened. Along with some prodding from friends I brushed myself off and got busy into life. I was set up on some blind dates and went. Started business school. Got myself busy and stopped worrying about him. But we were still talking, almost every day. He noticed the change. At exactly one month of "break up" he asked me to get together again - whatever happened to that trip we were planning for February, he says...I blew him off for a few days, "I'm kinda busy. Not sure if I'll have time." He brought it up again and next thing I know, we're booking online together.

We still haven't had any official talk. I guess I am waiting til the trip to have that. But honestly, during the "break" we were and are the same way we were prior to the break, minus the ILYs. It didn't feel like we had broken up at all; however, I'm going to take what he said at face value. As far as the ILYs, I think we are both afraid to go there. He tried to bait me into it a few days ago and I didn't bite. So we'll see.

[Obsydian]

It's all I've been seeing in the forums recently, makes me really sad. *Hugs everyone tightly*
I think it has to do with the holidays, weather, moods around winter time. At least, partially, that's the only thing I can link it all too on a tiny scale.
I got close to leaving my boyfriend too but we held on tight... A tough time, I guess...

[OliveOyl]

its starting to scare me honestly! I keep going to church and PRAYING, my SO and I have been bickering a lot lately. So I am trying to stay as calm as possible.

[Butterfly]

Yes, it seems like there have been so many break-ups lately. My SO and I are still going strong (thankfully) but I will say we have been arguing a bit more than usual.

Perhaps this may have something to do with it... On the news this morning Facebook announced that most people "end their relationships" in January. In addition to that, they said January 17th is statistically the most depressing day of the year... Maybe that's because the holidays are officially over now and there isn't much to look forward to?? IDK!

Coincidence or maybe there's something to it!??

[Silviar]

Well, winter depression, post-holiday blues, and plus then people start getting their bills form Christmas... it's no surprise that January is a bickering month.

[Zephii]

I think it's just the time of year. I ended my last relationship on boxing day. *Shrug* It's like, I don't know, there's the stuff Silviar mentioned and on top of that there's the new year clean-out-what-isn't-working vibe.

Maybe that's why Feb is "the love month" to make up for Jan being the break-up month.

[Alisz]

I'm sorry to hear about the break ups. I did read somewhere an interesting statistic/fact something about there are more divorces in Jan/Feb because that's when you'd get your credit card bill for all the holiday spending, so I guess that leads to bigger arguments. Something interesting too is this: https://mathiasmikkelsen.com/2010/10...-and-breakups/

[Silviar]

I love that facebook chart - absolutely fascinating.

[Morti]

I reckon it's the whole new year's resolution mentality. If your relationship isn't going well and a new year comes round, that's when you might consider it time for a change. New year, new start.

[FadedSunrise]

My issues, entirely, not his. Just asked him yesterday for a full month to reconsider my actions, because I asked him what he wanted, and he just plainly said that "Don't think too much about the future. Stop being such a worrier. I want us back together. You and I both very happy. That's enough" That he hurt every time he thought of our situation-obviously feelings have not stopped, but I put up a barrier on us being together.

My issues are my doubt. I tend to be a worrier, and a planner. Plus the fact that my parents discovered his letter sent to me first, and questioned me up and down about it. I'm bad at hiding secrets, because half of me wants to burst out my happiness at them(but the other half of me should have known better and hid it for all it's worth). My parents discovered his letter, and then, after me not able to keep a secret, we got into this HELLISH 5 day argument about all aspects of dating, marriage, and him. It wasn't so much that I was listening to what they say about breaking up to obey them, but that what they said exacerbated worries and doubts I'd had about us, but had shut up inside because normal me knew those were a representation of my overthinking mind.

So in an act of overthinking and pessimism-read "I can't do this LDR thing, I don't know if we're going to work out", plus a hint of "I'm trying to do what's better for you" I made a split second decision to tear us apart. And put myself through 3 days of poor quality sleep, extreme fatigue, and heart problems...

Now after asking for my one month extension I'm currently of mind that what I did was a mistake and I want us back together too, but have decided its simply not fair to keep making split second decisions. Thus, I owe him an answer 3/1/11 or so.

And will remember to keep our actual relationship status forever JUST FRIENDS to the parents, at least till I move out -_-

[lucybelle]

My previous relationships have always ended in January or February. Tough months I guess!

[amit2k11]

well yes, this month has been exactly the opposite of what I had ever imagined in the wildest of my dreams. She came to my life as a stranger in circumstances when we were never supposed to meet ever, we loved extremely, physically and mentally and just like that she walks off.

Hurts.... hurts ...hurts like hell.....but I did love her truly and longed for something that at least she could have tried...when I am supposed to be there closing the distance from India to America. Wish god had really helped me here... A relationship with no fights, plenty of laughs, warmth of both the families getting involved and things slip by just like that.

The only thing I regret is she has seen all broken relations all her life till now.Right from her close friends to even some members. In my case I have seen all strong relations and how people persevere in it. This definitely creates a vast mental blockage which takes time to fill up. She just didn't allow me to share that time with her.

Wish I will wait for her...at the brooklyn bridge this year end...and she comes and we hold hands once again..with tears all over our pink faces....
I simply want her so much.....

[samglam209]

I agree with everyone on the reasons but I think in LDR's if you don't get to visit during the holiday's it just make's it THAT much harder. If there is stress but you get to visit usually you can work it out. If you aren't together in person it just makes it easier to take out your frustration on them and end it right after Christmas.

[uniquefem]

humm.. yeah i did notice the msg here lately.. quite depressing! i think its true it might related to the long holidays.... the bills.. and the new year resolution about everything must be new (the new me?) ..but its so sad! *hugs for all*

Recently i had problems too.. its just me and my worry to visa, and of course future. But when he said, his future is my future too... it does made me calm for now. I mostly show/communicate to my SO if i had worries or something bothering me... and he really does care about it a lot. He made me feel calm, and ease me Past few days he also try to call almost every night (skype). I think we are still on the "honeymoon" phase since we were new here.... but i really do hope its always be honeymoon!

Hahaha... i do feel scare one day had to post the "over" msg... oh ... thats sad! more hugs for everybody!