losing my sense of self.

[vpavelock]

Part of what is making it hard for you to get out of this depression is leaning on someone that is not there. I have this problem as well. Sometimes I let myself get into a rut because I miss my boyfriend so much, but the trick that I've gone with is doing positive things for me. I just started a 365 photo project, that definitely inspires me to get out and find some beauty in each day, I've made sure to go to the gym every single day, I've been rushing a sorority, joined an intramural soccer team with some friends, and have been trying to have a healthy social life while juggling 18 credits. So far, this has REALLY helped and I've been feeling A LOT better! I really recommended https://365project.org/, doing things for you, and becoming busier. The trick is you have to find happiness in something besides your SO, even when it seems hard to.

[tinatuff]

Whoa, this was really great to read from everyone.
I myself is kinda in the same situation. After spending practically the whole of last year together, with only 2 months away, it has become very difficult for me to be away for about 2 months again (we going to have to be apart for 6 months until I can get the money to see her). I think for me it's the fact she has started college again and it is keeping her very busy. I on the other hand hasn't started university, and it has provided me plenty of time to wait for her. It has affected me, as while she is busy with homework, I just stare at her.

Reading all your suggestions really is helpful, and I think I really need to pick myself up. It just become hard because she was at time the motivator. Now she is gone it's hard.

[delhommefan]

Aw....many HUGS hun! I definitely feel the same way sometimes. A few weeks ago I posted something similar...I mean I am a VERY social, outgoing person so its not me to lock myself in that way but sometimes I do it too. I am TRYING very hard right now to make myself get out. Because I was feeling like I was just walking through life like a zombie and thats not good. I also lost my job last year. We had been together for a year when it happened but it did cause some challenges between us because I think sometimes I hear him talking about getting this sale, or doing this thing at work, or going to the beach, or whatever and I'm like UGH! I'm here, without a job and without a life! But I know that's NOT true and I know it's NOT true for you either! "Having a life" is simply a lot of the effort you put into your own. You are doing the right thing by trying to get out of that slump. I mean even if you guys weren't LD, you could fall into the same trap because everyone needs their own identity and needs their own "things". I think hanging out with family is great, but try your best to hang with some friends. if you are like me, and your friends are very busy with their own lives, try to join a club or sign up for something that will introduce you to some new people. There's something here called MeetUps and I think they have them in every city...you can google it. I found a group for single parents (me) and I've gone on a couple outings and that was fun. Are you thinking about possibly going back to school while you are in transition? I did that as well and it's helped immensely. Even though I still get down about losing my job, I know I am working toward a new goal and I am meeting new people and that's very empowering. i would go nuts without that. You could also use this time to volunteer. It doesn't pay but its rewarding in many other ways and would give you some social interaction and sense of purpose. Hang in there love!