Does anyone KNOW that the distance will take years to close?

[becca53088]

Many couples in LDRs are unsure when exactly the distance will close and it is just a matter waiting it out until they find out when it will be. Others have plans to close the distance in a fews months, or maybe a year or so. But I was wondering, how many know that there will be distance for a substantial amount of time (i.e. several years)? As you can see by my counter, my SO and I know for a fact that it will take several years (4+) to close the distance. We were long distance throughout college (we met in high school, though didn't become "official" until the summer before our last year) and about 6 months ago he got a job 3 hours from where I am going to graduate school. We had wanted to close the distance after undergrad, but our job/school offerings did not fall in the same location. Since my SO just started his job and my graduate program is 5 years long, we will most likely have to wait until I graduate to close the distance, and that is quite a long time. It seems daunting to think about how many months we will have to wait it out!

For those of you who know for a fact that the distance will take several years to close, how do you cope?

And for the LDR survivors, if it took several years to close the distance, how did you make it work?

[Miramaid]

yes. YEars to close for us if ever

[Sora1101]

It'll take about another year and four or five months depending on how long I wanna stay with my friends after I graduate, honestly I'm not not handling the wait very well but there really isn't anything we can do to change it so I'm just stuck in LD :/

[SeattleLove]

It will be about 5 years for us. We met during Junior year when I was an exchange student at his school, now we both have to finish high school (another 1 1/2 years for me) and then there are 3 years of college
We are planning to close the distance in 2016....thats soooo far away
But we deal with it pretty well, we always picture our future, plan the next times we will see each other, talk about everything. It is tough sometimes but I am sure we can make it

[LostInLove]

Well, I can't move until I start my master's degree, so unless my SO decides to move to be with me sooner than that (and I kind of doubt it) it'll be 3 and a half years before we can be together. *shrug* what can you do?

[hillke]

I know I will not be with my boyfriend until May 2012 at the very soonest. It will probably be later than that. I will finish undergrad in May 2012 and he will finish culinary school in May 2013 if he starts in August like he's planning to. It depends on if I find a job near his school after graduation, then it would be 2012. I may also just take the first job I find and then move to be with him after he finds a job, then it would be 2013.

It's sort of crushing, sometimes. Work and school are such a pain.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

Yes, I know that we won't be able to close the distance permanently for at least 5-7 years. He's doing a 5 year program at the school he's going to and possibly combining his masters into that, too. If he does that, it could be up to 7 years. Of course, we'll temporarily close the distance each summer for 3-3.5 months, which will be great. The positive is that, if he does his masters combined, he gets done in 6 or 7 years as opposed to 8 or 9 if he did it separately and through another school. I'm completely willing to wait as long as it takes to close the distance.

[ChrisxTosha]

Our distance is hopefully going to be close just before 2012. A lot of things have to happen before that though.

We both have to graduate and he has to go through Basic Training. Right after that we'll get married. Then we'll be distance again, up until all the paperwork is done and everything is set for me to move with him.

Although, we'll be long-distance off and on after that. Due to the military.

[blankita719]

At this point, the projected target date is May/June 2013. Unless I can convince him to move here before then, but I doubt it as he doesn't want to leave until his son graduates from high school. His son is halfway through sophmore year so it's another 2 and a half years if he sticks to it. And I can't take off and leave because I bought a house just under a year ago, and my mortgage terms dictate that I can't leave for a specified amount of time. Even if not, this housing market is not for sellers and it would take a long time for me to sell. And I do not handle this distance well at all, so seeing that date like that is just starting to depress me.

[Gelfling]

It will be August 2012 at the earliest, and that's if I can successfully complete 5 academic courses per semester and not go insane or broke. If I have to repeat anything, or can't get into a class I need, or have to take fewer classes to have time to work, then it might be December 2012 or May 2013. There's also visa constraints that might add time onto that-- I'm hoping that we'll be able to time those so that I can move to Canada more or less as soon as I graduate, but we'll see.

I keep reminding myself that SO is worth the wait, and that it will be easier to find a job in a foreign country where I have almost no connections if I have some sort of degree. I'm trying /not/ to think about the fact that this means I will be at least 35 before I get up there, and therefore past a major milestone in terms of fertility problems (no kids, would love to have one or two with SO). If our only choice is adoption, though, there are certainly worse fates.

[adielovesshelbs]

My SO gets out of the army March 2013, so it will be about two years for us. I try not to think about it, but its sad. We orginally planned on me moving to Kentucky with him after I graduate which is in about 5 months but college for an out of state student is insane. I'm trying to work out a way to go online for college but I have never done online classes and I'm nervous. I wish we could close the distance now though.

[Mfashnik]

Years. Three more at least. Which is much better than the five it was when we started to date. I'm a sophomore in college and my SO's job limits where he can live. So we're apart until I graduate from the five year program I am pursuing.

[nic&matt]

Minimum of 6. We both need to finish schooling. Unfortunately it may be way more. In 6 years I'll only be done with my Bachelor, and him his Masters. I really want to get my Doctorate Degree so I can teach at a University level...all of that money, the money I need to earn to pay of student loans, and everything else we might not be financially ready until 2020...
I don't know how I cope with it, I'm pretty sure I don't. I get scared and frustrated all the time but I want it to work so bad. I never feel strong enough but my SO keeps me going. For the time being, the only reason I haven't shriveled into a tiny ball on the ground is the mind set of "one visit at a time". If I can make it (blank) amount of days, I get to see him again. The thoughts of the future are just kinda floating by...

[becca53088]

Minimum of 6. We both need to finish schooling. Unfortunately it may be way more. In 6 years I'll only be done with my Bachelor, and him his Masters. I really want to get my Doctorate Degree so I can teach at a University level...all of that money, the money I need to earn to pay of student loans, and everything else we might not be financially ready until 2020...
I don't know how I cope with it, I'm pretty sure I don't. I get scared and frustrated all the time but I want it to work so bad. I never feel strong enough but my SO keeps me going. For the time being, the only reason I haven't shriveled into a tiny ball on the ground is the mind set of "one visit at a time". If I can make it (blank) amount of days, I get to see him again. The thoughts of the future are just kinda floating by...

Wow, I give you major props. Our projected closing year is 2015 and when I saw possibly not until 2020 in your post, my jaw practically dropped. That is a year I associate with potential flying cars (okay, not really...). Well, hopefully everything works out for all of us who have to wait and we will have this website to use! I think you are right though. It is probably best to think "one visit at a time" rather than too, too far in the future because then that would just seem to daunting. I really need to learn to think this way!

[nic&matt]

I keep thinking that way with a countdown. Sometimes the countdown really helps, sometimes it's really frustrating, but it's, again, way better than counting years. I don't like thinking of the future, (even though I do) because I end up thinking that if it doesn't work, it's going to be really hard not to think of all those promises. My SO understands and has toned it down a bit, which helps but he gives these hints that also just makes the future what I call, "a fluffy cloud". Nothing is super clear but it just looks good. Haha. Good luck to you too! I recommend finding success stories. Those who have made it make the future seem much more possible!