Love or Money?

[Lunar Snow]

I have been thinking more and more about going to teach at an off-shore school, but that would be so much further away from my SO and vastly more expensive to even think of seeing each other.

On the other hand, if I got a job like that, it would allow me full-time work in my field (building experience), a chance to make enough money to pay for student loans and also to start building an "adult, independent" life, and to feel more confident again about my professional and academic capabilities.

This is all just in the thought stage, but like some of the other recent threads suggest...I think a choice like that might come down to relationship or career.

[Miramaid]

can he move closer to you or even with you ? What does he say about all this? Can you only work a year and then you guys move in together somewhere? Are there other options?

[nerdgirl]

i'm one that will always choose relationship over money..although i do believe that you should be somewhat financially fit before you make any huge decisions.

[lucybelle]

I will never in my life pick money over anything.

I'm leaving my job, my student loans, and my home to go do what it is I love for barely any money. My happiness is worth more.

[sabby64]

I agree with lucybelle ^^ I would never pick money over anything. I can always make more money, I have enough to survive and that's all I really need.

[Zephii]

Well, you can't take money with you when you die. (My sister always tells me this!)

But, you do need to be doing something you love and the relationship is pretty new/young. A year or two off shore probably would be fine as you're LD already. I can't see the difference between 1000 miles and 8000 miles really. You learn to cope.

What is comes down to is: How important is your carrer to you? If it's something you are really passionant about the resentment about loseing the opportunity for your SO can seriously damage your relationship. But, if it's just about extra money, I'd say no. You can always make more money.

[Yorkshire Girl]

Personally I would give up everything, my education, money, career, everything, for happiness with my SO.

I guess it just depends on each individual. :-)

[Mara]

Can't you have both?

If you did start working somewhere full-time wouldn't this allow for you to be able to save more money for visits and/or eventually closing the distance? I know it would be more expensive to see each other, but if you had a full-time, good paying job it might be more expensive, but more manageable.

[Rugger]

Unfortunatly, You need money to see your SO. I wouldn't pick money over my boyfriend, but I would prefer to have money so I can eventually move in with him

[BabyGund]

OK I admit, I am old and jaded....but love don't pay the rent, the light bill or the car note. Just sayin'...

[Brandie]

I would give up anything just to do be with my SO, we would work it out at a new place, find jobs, and start a life together, money isnt everything

[Miramaid]

I would first talk to him, and see where you two stand, when both of you would like to close the distance and how, are u planning on getting married and when, is he is school or working, can you move to each other etc. etc. before I make any choice

[Marikusa]

Like a few days ago i probably would've said to go with relationship, but this is something that i have thought about as well. I think that you should do what you want to do, and grow as a person. That way there wont be resentment in the future. Like "If i would've went then things would've been like ..." If things were meant to be im sure you both can figure things out. If things don't workout in your relationship, what will you do then? Not trying to be negative or anything but its something you should think about. You should do what is best for you.. you dont want to move in with your SO and then have to worry about not being able to make ends meet. Love can't pay the bills.. and debt is no fun.

[Sarah M]

To be honest, your relationship is still young and this sounds like a wonderful professional opportunity. While you're still young, take it. You'll be able to cope with the distance for that little bit longer and your relationship may better from it. If this job gives you independence and confidence as you say, that will transpose into your relationship and enable it to grow.
Hope this helps!

[Sarah M]

And by the way, this isn't love vs. money, this is a significant personal development opportunity vs. having a relatively easy long distance relationship.