I think we talk too much

[My Hearts in Kentucky]

I know that sounds really crazy but i think it is ruining our relationship. From the moment we wake up too the moment we go to bed we are texting or talkin on the phone. We have been doin this everyday pretty much for the last 2 years. When we first started dating it was different cause we had stuff to tlk about, now we run out of things to text or say in our phone calls and we end up arguing
So my question is how do we not talk as much without quiting cold turkey?

[mllebamako]

I don't think that sounds crazy at all. If you think about it...when a couple is together in person, they are NOT talking all day long.

How bout you guys limit your talking? For example, my SO and I talk probably 5 nights a week on skype for 30 minutes. Other than that, I usually just send him a text message in the morning to say good morning and tell him 1 reason I love him.
We have to limit it because of the cost of international texting/phone calls. But I don't see why you guys couldn't cut down your talking too.

[My Hearts in Kentucky]

Thanks guys

[Thad]

That is indeed a problem, and I can say it is a problem that my SO and I have had as well. Recently when we get to the point of having nothing to say we just say so, and end the call. Its much better to end civilly like that than fighting because we're wasting each other's time. Sometime it is a downer, but then I just remember that we didn't fight and eventually we'll be back together and it won't be an issue.

[komakino]

I have exactly the same thing with my SO. I do think we talk too much, as sometimes our convo will be a little stilted and this has caused arguments with us. Im just not sure how to aproach saying that i want to talk to him less, every time i have in the past we end up arguing about it. haha. just keep going round in a circle :|

[Tabitha]

We don't really have that problem. We talk from noon until about 3 a.m. every day, and never run out of things to say. This could be because we're both really into sports and love most of the same shows and things like that. I do agree with everyone else that if you think it's ruining your relationship, just try to limit your contact a bit more. You don't have to cut off contact all at once. Just cut back a little each day until things are better. Or try to find more common interests to talk about.

[nic&matt]

I don't think it's a matter of quiting but just finding things to do. Instead of saying "I don't want to talk to you right now because I feel like it's to much" you can go volunteer somewhere or tutor people or throw some parties. During those times you can't really talk to your SO. I feel like the less time you have sometimes, the more valuable it is!

[Hannahbaby16]

Hmmm, i have that problems sometimes too. We text from the second we wake up, til the time we go to bed.
It can be hard sometimes because, we run out of things to talk about and usually one or the other can get quite moody. But, i think it's good to talk that much!

Some of us are lucky, most guys only like to talk to their girls about once a day. and if their lucky maybe a quick goodnight!

If you too think it's getting too out of hand, i would tell him you have to do something for a few hours (lie if you have to...) and you can't text him. It's hard not to,but, i do this and it works! He will miss talking to you

Goodluck!

[Dziubka]

It's only in texts that I sometimes don't know what to write (and then I usually just tell him that whatever it is that I'm doing is boring w/o him... He sends me "kiss"-texts all the time. They say nothing but "kiss"! They make my days!).
Anyway, we usually talk for about an hour every night and it's way too little. I often find myself sending him mails or writing letters, because there's so many things I didn't manage to say, I forgot about over the goofy things he does on webcam or whatever.

I agree with the others, maybe cut down on the phone time? As in do about, do your usual stuff during the day and then talk for some time before you go to bed?

[vpavelock]

I definitely feel like my phone conversations with my boyfriend are MUCH better when we haven't texted much throughout the day. If you're constantly giving a play by play of your lives to each other, it'll be hard to come up with new things to talk about, (because they know everything that's happened up to that point already.)

[BoogleBee]

The other day me and my SO talked for about 4.5 hours on skype in my morning, and then talked again for an hour before I went to bed, and then talked again the morning the following day, but we noticed that morning that we didn't have much to say and we both felt like the mood went a bit weird due to our silences so maybe we had a bit of that problem too. We send some emails during the day while the other is asleep and that is good, but yeah we ran out of stuff to talk about the other day as there wasn't much time between the phone calls. Although I loved getting to hear her voice..but we just didn't have much to say.
I know once I get back to Uni our time together will be more restricted and therefore more valuable due to my heavy workload that I know I am going to have, and then I guess I will also have more topics to talk about.

[Kiara]

A similar problem happens to me. Actually, it's not that we don't know what to say, but loooong Skype calls (more than 1 hour) make me very tired: my eyes hurt, I am tired (now we have 2h difference), I have the impression that my flatmates judge me... And I'm not able to reduce our call! First of all because I like to hear his voice and see him on the webcam, and secondly because I am afraid he cannot understand me.

[Alisz]

I get that feeling sometimes too. We talk all the time with each other. There are times when it's less often, but the majority of it is as you said. From the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep. I think the biggest thing is when those busy times come up it can feel like there's something off, but it's just the other being busy, but we're not used to not talking lol. Just last week I was thinking we weren't talking as much and this was after a 4 hour conversation! XD I guess in comparison to 7-8 hours it can feel like much less >_> <_< Yeah... we talk a lot... Or rather I talk a lot XD

If it's becoming a problem (more arguments) try to maybe allot a few hours at night to talk online and space out your texts more. Like send the usual morning ones, but save anything you want to share (unless it's really important and can't wait) until you talk later in the night. That way you'll have a couple things to share with each other. Then you can kinda feel out how much you can talk during the day to avoid picking fights at night. That's what Ray and I have kinda been forced to do, but it's been fine. It gives us some time apart to concentrate on other things in our lives and we still send lovey texts every so often just to remind each other that we're thinking about them. ^^

[My Hearts in Kentucky]

Thanks guys so much! The tips are great!

[kasia516]

This might be kinda silly, but we sometimes read to each other before bed. We have a 5 hr time difference and I talk to him before he goes to bed so I read him a good night story. This started because we are from different countries and grew up with different childrens books. He had never heard of Dr. Seuss so I grabbed my books and read him one every night. Then I started reading other childrens books I had. He says he loves my reading voice and this way we still get to hear each other and be on skype together without fighting. We dont get to do it every night since I ran out of books, but sometimes I go to the library to find my old favorites. We both really like it now and look forward to it.
You could even do this with an adult book and read each other a chapter every night before bed. It would also give you more to talk about since you would discuss the book.