advice needed...once again.

[nerdgirl]

okay it seems i keep making new threads. but this is kind of big news and i need advice.
okay well today my SO texted me and told me that his friend wants him (my SO) to move in with his girlfriend while he is away for 8 weeks..i dont like this at all. it's not that i dont trust him, it's just i dont like the idea of him living alone with another girl....is that reasonable of me?? i have no idea what to do. on one hand i want to say go ahead but my head is screaming noooo he can't do that. ughhhh help?

[Zephii]

What's the reason for this 8 week move?

[nerdgirl]

his friend is in the military and is leaving for 8 weeks i guess he doesn't want her to be alone.

[snow_girl]

If he went to stay with him I suppose it would help knowing she as well is in a relationship, shes not some single girl looking to hook up with the new guy staying with her. Have you met her? I understand that that might be awkward for you. As long as they set boundaries (is there a separate room for him to stay in?) then I think it would be okay.
Although it seems a little strange this girl can't take care of herself while her so if away.

[Miramaid]

my SO is in military and trust me military men would not let another man be there while they are away. IT is fishy and I would feel just as weird as you do about it and if it was me I would say "no" period. It is up to you to decide, but just remember you are his girlfriend and you have the right to say "no" to such a thing

[garnet]

That seems really weird. If his only reason is he doesn't want her to be alone, well, that doesn't line up very well with him being military. I wouldn't accept this, unless there is more to the story, like she needs help with her health or something, and he has no where else to turn.

[heatherotic]

I wouldn't be ok with it at all. I'm pretty jealous and I'd be pissed that some girl was getting to spend more time with my SO than I am. I definitely agree that it sounds pretty fishy.

[KiwiLove]

Cant she go to a female friend of hers to be not on her own??
Honestly, I wouldnt accept this until I know there is really no one else she could stay.
What about her parents? His parents? Friends?

[Brandie]

I would not allow this. If I didn't personally know this girl and his friend, I definitely wouldn't want this to happen. Also, she doesn't need someone else living with her, what is your SO supposed to be doing to take place of her bf? In my opinion, it's more acceptable if he just checked up on her maybe once a week to make sure she is ok by phone call if she needs anything, other than that. It's not your SO's job to take care of someone else's gf. And your SO should respect that.

[Niecey]

That wouldn't work for me at all.

Like some others have said why can't one of her family members or friends stay with her? Why can't she stay alone?

This just doesn't add up. I don't even see how your boyfriend's friend could/would ask him such a thing.

[Silviar]

I don't think there's a problem with living with someone who's of the opposite sex - it doesn't mean they're attracted to one another.

On the other hand, I find the request in and of itself suspicious. It seems very odd to me. If you trust him, then trust him and don't say anything. If you don't trust him, well, that's another story altogether.

[MystChic]

How much do you know about her & them? Do you know how old she is? I can understand if he's in the military and this is the first time he's been away and perhaps she's a minor? Perhaps she's just moved out of home and is living with him and is afraid to be alone? Maybe she moved a great distance to be with him?

I could understand him not wanting her to be alone 24/7 - when I was 16 000kms from home and didn't know anyone & my SO worked night shift, his best friend came over and kept me company some nights with pizza or movies. Granted, he didn't move in...

Perhaps you could suggest the same thing? Say ok to the occasional catch up night and to be an emergency contact but that you wouldn't feel comfortable with him living there?

[adielovesshelbs]

i wouldnt allow this either. my so is in the military and no military man that i know would want any guy, even his best friend, to stay with his girl while he was away. this seems very suspicious to me. be careful. you should always trust your instincts, they are usually right. you have the right to tell your boyfriend no. how would your boyfriend feel if the situation was the other way around?

[milaya]

Why is it his friend wants your SO to move in?
... I don't get it at all.
I wouldn't allow it... I'm not a jealous type at all. Just if I don't see a valid reason, I see no need.

[hippomambo]

I would advise your SO to stay away from this. Not because of anything that might happen between this girl and himself but because it reeks of the friend who's going away wanting someone hovering over his GF. If he's this worried (read controlling overprotective) then this could lead to drama/headache for your SO.