I need help...

[RandomUsername]

Hello there.

Me and my SO had few problems that kept bugging through all these months.We solved them, got over them, but... I ended up doing most of the work.Ended up feeling like a mother for him after 10 months.I asked him for a break (I have a very hectic life, stress, family problems and I could go on and on and on.)HE did things like promise me we'd spend christmas together and end up playing video games, leaving me all alone after I canceled every plan I had, to spend Christmas with him. Now, fast forward a few months later, I asked for a break because I have been feeling like a mother for him, I'm wearing the pants in the relationship, he's many times acting immature and is not there for me for support. I do know he loves me.I know him. But... his actions show OTHERWISE. We always talked about it... But as I said, I asked for a break, he asked me if we can date other people, I said whatever (the dating scene is the last thing I need right now with all the things happening in my life right now). One day later, he tells me there's a girl that likes him from his school and he's going to be friends with her.Gave her his phone number and they started talking. He told me things like we should take a break, some couples split for years and date other people and then get back together and fall right back in love, ETC.
He likes her too. I got extremely hurt... It's just the fact that she's 5028 miles closer, can touch him, can hold him, can kiss him. (And we were supposed to keep our 1st kisses for each other for when we meet). His mother thinks he moved on after a day because he got really happy for talking to her. They're going to hang out at school and he just left to catch the bus. I can't stop crying. It hurts too much ... What should I do? I'm not ready to break up. He's the only reason I'm still alive. He's the first guy I had anything sexual with (I know, I'm 14, shouldn't have.Too bad I love him). He has been my whole universe for the past 1 year. My first love. I'm lost, guys... completely lost. I'd rather be dead than lose him. I'm still in denial.

[Rugger]

Sweetie, It sounds like he's not very invested in your relationship. Honestly, I think you need to have a serious talk with him and decide what's best for the both of you. Maybe he's not cut out for an LDR and I know that's not what you want to hear, but trying to have an LDR with someone who isn't invested is like trying to cut down a tree with a stick of butter, It's just not going to work.

[Silviar]

It's the first time that you've felt all of this - it's natural to want it to work out. I sympathize with you, I really do. But you can't make him care, and you can't make him be a good partner. He has to choose to be those things. Words are only words unless backed by action, and you've said he doesn't act like what he says he will. I'm afraid that that's your answer.

Move on, and give yourself time to cry, be upset, be angry, and so on. But don't let him keep yanking you around and hurting you. You'll be able to take care of yourself, I mean it!

[Caitlin2009]

honey your 14 years old you have the rest of your life to find love and you will! in my opinion your a little too young to have a bf you should be wanting to hang out with your friends and stuff, concentrate on school right now thats what you should be doing! You will find someone but i dont think now is the time for that

[katilady87]

Words are only words unless backed by action

That to me is such wise advice when it comes to all relationships, romantic as well as friendships.

[RandomUsername]

Thank you guys. You're all wonderful people I agree with you, Caitlin. That's what I'm going to do. Silviar, Rugger, 100% right. That's what I'm doing. I just deleted everything from videos to messages to chat archives to pics and might soon block him and not talk to him again. I'm not sure if we should stay friends, but if we do, I wouldn't be able to get over him, knowing he has that girl there. I hope he'll treat her right, at least and I hope he will keep in mind all the things he learned from me. I'm not well right now, and it will get harder, but I will be fine. Thank you all!

[RandomUsername]

That to me is such wise advice when it comes to all relationships, romantic as well as friendships.

My mother would agree with you completely... She's on the point of divorcing my father. 22 years together, 22 years of suffering and stress. I will keep that in mind.

[Emma-Louise]

Well first of all, I do agree with you, you aren't too young to fall in love. And I hate when people say that cause I'm 16.. But your relationship obviously just wasn't working. And you need to be fully committed to make this type of relationship last. Take a while, try to get over him and look out for that one person who is so in love with you that they can't think straight.

I'm sorry things didn't work out this time round. xo

[RandomUsername]

Well first of all, I do agree with you, you aren't too young to fall in love. And I hate when people say that cause I'm 16.. But your relationship obviously just wasn't working. And you need to be fully committed to make this type of relationship last. Take a while, try to get over him and look out for that one person who is so in love with you that they can't think straight.

I'm sorry things didn't work out this time round. xo

Thank you, Emma. I'll give it some time. Focus on myself, my life, SCHOOL. I'll meet my prince charming someday. Enough time. Wish you the best!

[katilady87]

Besides focusing just on school, yourself and your life which is important, feel free to treat yourself well. If there's some candy you are craving buy yourself a little bag, or a book or movie you've wanted to read/see, buy it. You deserve it as well as it should be able to help you focus on something which should take your mind off your current situation. It's hard what you are going through. The first time your heart breaks, it sucks unfortunately. In the same token you will be stronger in the end for it and now you know some things you want in your next relationship versus this one. If you need to talk to someone, feel free to PM me.

[RandomUsername]

The first day was alright... I can't stop thinking about it, though. He was my best friend...It does not feel like the end of the world because I know it is not. I've been here one time before... not this bad though, I didn't LOVE him.While I'm staying home and crying my heart out, he's probably hanging at school with his new girlfriend. I have an eating disorder, a messed up family, parents are about to divorce, alcoholic father, controlling mother ... He was the only thing keeping me sane. He was the only one that saw the real ME. The shock anesthetic is going off... I never went more than TWO days without him in the past year.I'm sick from my stomach knowing she might be holding him, kissing him.I feel replaced...
I have the chance to start dating someone. Meeting up with them this Saturday... But I'm not sure I want to.I'm no sure I want to do anything right now. Should I have stayed friends with him? Should I let him know how deeply hurt I am? Should I be friends with him only to rub it in his face about how I moved on and feel so much better without him? I just deleted every single memory, from videos to pics to recordings and gifts.. I just wish he freaking came back and actually FOUGHT for our relationship.Which he never did...
Plus I suffer of mild depression... Which got much worse because of this. I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow and I might be put on some anti depressants. I'm not sure what I should do... I'm even up to take his 'let's date other people for a while and be friends' offer. I already had it all... didn't put anything off because of him. He helped me make the best of the hardest period in my life.

[Tanja]

I was in love when I was 14. And I genuinely thought he is the guy I'll spend the rest of my life with. But as I got older the things I wanted from a relationship changed, I changed and he changed. The break-up was heartbreaking but it was the right thing to do at that point because I realised he wasn't at all the person I thought he was.

I know now that I didn't have a clue what I wanted when I was 14 and I let the guy treat me badly as well but I didn't realise it cause I loved him so much, he was my everything and I would've jumped off a cliff for him. Now when I look back at it, he was really just a jerk who took advantage of my naive nature. He often promised to do things he never did and I always believed him...

I'm not saying this because I think your guy is like this but I'm saying it because you are still very young and you have the rest of your life to find someone you will truly love and want to grow old with - the things you want are going to change and you are going to change as a person. I know in your age it's so cool to have a boyfriend and it's easy to believe all the sweet words they say... But boys in that age think quite differently and might not be serious about a relationship at all. Mind you, I don't know how old he is but he seems quite young based on his actions.

I also think 14 is a bit young to be seriously dating, you should be hanging out with your friends and have fun, not worry about boys and heartbreak - there will be plenty of opportunities to date once you've grown up a bit and know who YOU are and know exactly what you want.

[Brandie]

I know that you do love him, but it looks like this is that time to say goodbye. He may love you back, and i'm sure he does, but he just may not be in that stage in life where he is mature enough for a long distance relationship. I think focusing on you with school right now will be great, and you could end up meeting another guy out of the blue. And if it is truly meant to be, once he becomes mature you guys could end up back in each other's arms. But if not, you still have a whole wonderful life ahead of you depending on how you make it out to be! Hope this helps, message me if you ever want to talk. I'm here to listen

[RandomUsername]

He replaced me after two days... He's dating her. He's sixteen, by the way.

[Caitlin2009]

He replaced me after two days... He's dating her. He's sixteen, by the way.

well thats horrible but shows you what he was really like, just enjoy having fun with your friends and family, going out places, hanging out at the mall live it up girl! heh