Way to close for comfort!!!

[Caitlin2009]

Right ok i dont know what the hell is wrong with me lately or why i decided to push the boundaries of our relationship the last couple of days, but lately i have been super over sensitive to the point of questioning Denise's love for me and stuff, the last few days i was depressed and she knew so she tried to keep me calm all the while her mom was over, and in the process of worrying over me whenever she gets over stressed her TMJ acts up which makes her jaw hurt really bad and today it started to heal again but for some odd reason i questioned her loving me again today, because i was being nostalgic and she was watching a movie so i wasent getting much of a response to which i told her "well im trying to be nostalgic and it seems like you dont care....." *smacks forhead* lets just say i got majorly yelled at to the point where she actually threatened to shut her phone off if i didnt stop, i didnt want that so i called up and apologized alot, to which she said "FOR GODS SAKE I LOVE YOU!! WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!" well today it got through, because at that moment if i didnt patch things up i would have lost the one person that means so much to me!!! It scares me to think about how close i came to that, and its all down to this stupid little fear that i have about not thinking i deserve all the happyness in my life or fear that if i let my guard down shes gonna run off or something!! I mean i finally let it go but, i dont wanna go through that again i dont wanna put her through that again, i dont wanna let that fear overrule our relationship!!! that was waaay to close

[Snowy.Winter]

I understand Denise's frustation, my SO sometimes questions my love for him, even though I've been with him for over five years. But my SO is paranoid and he's always scared that I'm not in love with him, he's been cheated on, and he's been told he's not good enough, and that's why he thnks no-one can ever love him, and that he'll always get cheated on no matter what.

I don't know what to suggest, I sometimes can't even help my SO, I just have to keep reminding him, and telling him that I'll always love him. I hope you get everything sorted, because I've been on the other side and it hurts to think that your SO doesn't think that you love them, but I can completely understand where you are coming from.

Lots of hugs

[Caitlin2009]

yeah well ive had the same thing done to me and thats why i do that, cant help it its something that will go away with time but i was hoping it would have left by now :/ everything is fine now i just cant help but feel horrible about almost fucking everything up

[Snowy.Winter]

You see, I think it's the same for most people. My SO actually went to meet with his ex today, and she apologised and said how sorry she was, and he said it was such a weight off his shoulders, and he felt a lot better after she apologised to him.

But I don't know how people feel after things like that, because I've never even had a boyfriend before my SO, so I know nothing about the feelings of being cheated on etc.

[beaton]

! I'm glad you guys patched it up! I'm in a similar boat to you where I doubt my SO's feelings and convince myself that he's not sincere. What has helped a LOT, is listing all the things he's done that prove he cares (little things he's said or done, examples of when I've assumed something before and he's proven me wrong, etc).

When I start to feel like he doesn't care and he's too busy with something to pick up that I feel down, I read through that list and relive those moments until my heart feels warm again, or listen to an old cute voicemail. That might help comfort you enough to avoid a blowup.

[Snowy.Winter]

! I'm glad you guys patched it up! I'm in a similar boat to you where I doubt my SO's feelings and convince myself that he's not sincere. What has helped a LOT, is listing all the things he's done that prove he cares (little things he's said or done, examples of when I've assumed something before and he's proven me wrong, etc).

When I start to feel like he doesn't care and he's too busy with something to pick up that I feel down, I read through that list and relive those moments until my heart feels warm again, or listen to an old cute voicemail. That might help comfort you enough to avoid a blowup.

I wrote my SO a letter a few years ago and a list and I always tell him to read it to remind him, because he knows I wouldn't have written it if I didn't mean it.

[Jrapp]

I've done this before, it sucks. It's also quite similar to why Brianna and I are fighting right now. One of our worst fights ever. Blah

[Caitlin2009]

! I'm glad you guys patched it up! I'm in a similar boat to you where I doubt my SO's feelings and convince myself that he's not sincere. What has helped a LOT, is listing all the things he's done that prove he cares (little things he's said or done, examples of when I've assumed something before and he's proven me wrong, etc).

When I start to feel like he doesn't care and he's too busy with something to pick up that I feel down, I read through that list and relive those moments until my heart feels warm again, or listen to an old cute voicemail. That might help comfort you enough to avoid a blowup.

i know but i tend to do that a little too late heh tend to actually do that right when were having the argument

[Jrapp]

! I'm glad you guys patched it up! I'm in a similar boat to you where I doubt my SO's feelings and convince myself that he's not sincere. What has helped a LOT, is listing all the things he's done that prove he cares (little things he's said or done, examples of when I've assumed something before and he's proven me wrong, etc).

When I start to feel like he doesn't care and he's too busy with something to pick up that I feel down, I read through that list and relive those moments until my heart feels warm again, or listen to an old cute voicemail. That might help comfort you enough to avoid a blowup.

Thank you so much for this, I will try very hard to keep all of this helpful info in mind

[beaton]

i know but i tend to do that a little too late heh tend to actually do that right when were having the argument

Believe me , I feel ya, it sucks, especially if you're already feeling depressed. It's so hard to separate those feelings from the situation at hand.

My SO doesn't really get depressed/overthink the way I do, and I have to keep in that in mind, otherwise I'll drive him/myself insane.