UPDATE
Hey Everyone!
So I've been gone for a while, and the last time I posted things between my SO and I were really bad and it turns out things got even worse before they got better!
SO and I ended up breaking up for a while. He was being obsessively clingy and I freaked out. I was terrified of the entire relationship and could not stop thinking about the "What if's" which just led to more trouble. He was clingy, and I was distant and scared. I refused to let myself give into my feelings, but at the same time I became dependent on him for happiness because my life was falling apart in front of my eyes and when he wasn't able to make me happy and wasn't able to be what I needed I pushed him away. The more I pushed the more clingy he became. Finally after lots of tears and talks and arguments and frustrations we were able to come to a common meeting ground, and decided to break-up on New Years. We decided that we were amazing as friends, but it just wasn't working romantically (although he constantly told me and still tells me that he thinks we will be together forever).
Anywho, we had this amazing friendship and he truly was my best friend. As we built our friendship we both became more independent and refocused on our lives. We still texted everyday and still were a huge part of each other's lives, but we needed to love ourselves and be happy with ourselves before we could really love each other. We worked on ourselves and continued to support each other just in a different way.
I don't know exactly when it happened, but things did a 180. He became more confident, he became a leader, and he became the person I originally fell in love with again (instead of constantly suffocating and driving me insane). I still had a lot of doubts, and I still fought tooth and nail with my feelings. And I was overly picky; everything and I mean everything I could find wrong with the guy I analyzed and overthought, and all it did was make me more confused and push him farther away. He was always closed off in the relationship; he told me on numerous occasions that he wouldn't move and that caused a big problem. I just wanted him to say he would be willing to make that sacrifice, but he wouldn't. Finally he opened up, he told me that he would absolutely move to be with me, and he let me into his heart and see the true him. That changed so much; when I was finally able to catch a glimpse of the real him I instantly knew I loved him. Yes he has faults and yes he does things that annoy me, but he has always supported me, he has never abandoned me like so many other guys have done, he is so patient and understanding, he is so loving and caring, and he is truly my best friend. He has all the qualities and more that I look for in a guy, and it may still be early in our relationship and we continue to take it one day and one step at a time but I can honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with him and it makes me the happiest girl in the world.
Our story continues, and I get to see him in Chicago May 2nd-9th! I'm so excited, but I'm slightly neverous that things will go bad again because they were haywire the first time.
PS. Sorry if I rambled and didn't make sense!
So I've been gone for a while, and the last time I posted things between my SO and I were really bad and it turns out things got even worse before they got better!
SO and I ended up breaking up for a while. He was being obsessively clingy and I freaked out. I was terrified of the entire relationship and could not stop thinking about the "What if's" which just led to more trouble. He was clingy, and I was distant and scared. I refused to let myself give into my feelings, but at the same time I became dependent on him for happiness because my life was falling apart in front of my eyes and when he wasn't able to make me happy and wasn't able to be what I needed I pushed him away. The more I pushed the more clingy he became. Finally after lots of tears and talks and arguments and frustrations we were able to come to a common meeting ground, and decided to break-up on New Years. We decided that we were amazing as friends, but it just wasn't working romantically (although he constantly told me and still tells me that he thinks we will be together forever).
Anywho, we had this amazing friendship and he truly was my best friend. As we built our friendship we both became more independent and refocused on our lives. We still texted everyday and still were a huge part of each other's lives, but we needed to love ourselves and be happy with ourselves before we could really love each other. We worked on ourselves and continued to support each other just in a different way.
I don't know exactly when it happened, but things did a 180. He became more confident, he became a leader, and he became the person I originally fell in love with again (instead of constantly suffocating and driving me insane). I still had a lot of doubts, and I still fought tooth and nail with my feelings. And I was overly picky; everything and I mean everything I could find wrong with the guy I analyzed and overthought, and all it did was make me more confused and push him farther away. He was always closed off in the relationship; he told me on numerous occasions that he wouldn't move and that caused a big problem. I just wanted him to say he would be willing to make that sacrifice, but he wouldn't. Finally he opened up, he told me that he would absolutely move to be with me, and he let me into his heart and see the true him. That changed so much; when I was finally able to catch a glimpse of the real him I instantly knew I loved him. Yes he has faults and yes he does things that annoy me, but he has always supported me, he has never abandoned me like so many other guys have done, he is so patient and understanding, he is so loving and caring, and he is truly my best friend. He has all the qualities and more that I look for in a guy, and it may still be early in our relationship and we continue to take it one day and one step at a time but I can honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with him and it makes me the happiest girl in the world.
Our story continues, and I get to see him in Chicago May 2nd-9th! I'm so excited, but I'm slightly neverous that things will go bad again because they were haywire the first time.
PS. Sorry if I rambled and didn't make sense!
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