What to do with yourself to keep sane?

[fiestydyste]

So Chuck and I have very busy lives... he's going to school, homework, Theatre performances, working a full time job, and has commitments to playing with his band... I more or less just work, take care of my son, and do household chores on my days off and at night... I have a HARD time not texting him or sending an email or "stalking" his fb page...

Sometimes he's so busy that he doesn't respond to my texts... and rarely my emails sometimes... he usually calls me about once a week-- and not always on the same day... it might even be 10 days before I get a response to anything-- I should say...

It's almost become a norm and I know he's busy... but I feel like some days that he doesn't care and doesn't want to bother with a relationship... but then he calls tells me all that has been going on and then I feel ashamed that I was pouting about him being inconsiderate!... ugh.. it's just frustrating to me.. and I've told him that I understand that he's busy but I also need some time or a response to something once in a great moon...

this last week was great... we were playing 20 questions via text.. and I started asking him things that I thought I knew about him.. but to find out.. didn't know at all... but those days are few and far in between... So what in the heck can I do to fill the time between with out rushing to my cell and wanting to send a text?

on Wednesday last week I had asked him what physical features he liked about me? (I know he's an ass man).. he actually came back thursday morning with "your eyes, your smile... and then your kiss..." then sent, "hope you have a great day... off to school.. " things like this just make me realize that I wish I had more of it... but I don't want to come off as nagging or clingy or being a control freak... which I am-- and trying to learn not to be-- also I'm highly impatient!

I just don't know what to do with myself between those moments-- I wish I could come up with a hobby or hang with my friends more (they're all also always busy).. but any suggestions.. I'm open for anything and everything...

[Alexandria Lora]

Hi fiestydyste,
I know what you mean...what do we do with ourselves? First, you as a mother are a very busy woman already, it is surprising you have time for yourself at all! But when you find you have time for yourself, I hope you do pamper yourself in some way... catching a movie, enjoying a play, a concert, join a book club or gamers club. Something special for you!! Your time away from him doesn't have to be 'waiting' to hear from him.. it could be time you are filling yourself up with your life so you can share more with him when you do talk. You are a person living a life in this relationship too.. don't let it (life) get away from you! Here is a website that I have been enjoying on the side: https://thinksimplenow.com/ It has a lot of great post about situations and self growth. I hope you like it Just some eye openers.... The secret about loving yourself is a great one! Anyway, any relationship LDR or Not, should recognize that we are each individuals...and we each much develop and live our own way.

P.S. About 'Stalking' his fb,it probably is not stalking (hehe i hope), but you are just trying to find a way to feel closer to him because you miss him. IMHO, I would talk to him about how you feel and maybe see if he has more time in his schedule to talk.. if it is something you need, he should know. I am sure if he needed something from you, you would gladly try your best... so share this with him, don't let it build up into resentment. He may not know that you need it and telling him may enlighten him to how you feel. Hope this helps

[KiwiLove]

I agree with Alexandria Lora.
If you get some free time for yourself (beside your son) then do something which makes you feel good!!
Go with a friend and have some coffee and a chat with them or like Alexandria said have a nice good smelling bath!!
Maybe he could skip to play with the band every now and then and you two could have a date night or just a nice phone call?!!
Im sure you will find a way :-) Good luck x

[lovemnmz]

im going through the same thing!! he's busy and i know it, but sometimes i feel like maybe he could dedicate more time to me, im a college student and yet i still manage to always be there for him, im just not sure how to bring this up to him without making it seem like im selfish or a control freak, and so to make myself busy and the lack of talk we have, i wrote a few letters to him, i wrote 7 letters in total in a month, snd then i sent it to him, i hope that he's reading them right now lol, but that also gave me the chance to tell him how i felt, what i was doing, ask him questions, tell him secrets and what not, and now to keep myself busy im learning how to use photoshop. all you need is find something that you like to do and and do it! have fun, make urself busy with your child, take ur child out on trips spend time with ur child, that should keep ur mind off of him!!! ^-^ and it might even make u exhausted! lol

[Leigh]

My SO has a job that keeps him so busy. I sometimes don't even feel like I'm in a relationship because it takes him so long to give me a response. I am also trying to find things to do to keep my time occupied. Just wanted to let you know your not the only one out there. I'm going through the same thing.

[DarkSolitary]

Well, me and my SO have been fortunate to where we communicate everyday. While he's at school, I sleep (yes, during the day... xD) but soon I will be starting school so that will keep me pretty busy. So uhh... when I am awake, I read or just chill and browse the internet. I'm pretty easily entertained so :P

[Far_Away_So_Close]

Read, watch TV, go to the movies, learn to play an instrument, take up dancing, get a manicure... Do whatever inspires you

[fiestydyste]

ok well it's 10pm... right now I just got home 30 minutes ago... and I've just got the bottle of wine open (didn't have a cork screw-- so had to get directions from my dad how to open it) and I will be sitting in a bubble bath for a little while tonight... this is a night to start my "independence" time!! Just wish I could share it--- but nope, it's all about ME tonight! and I'm not a big drinker... I even almost passed up going to the liquor store for the wine.. but said to myself... I deserve it! But I love all the comments from everyone... however, I'm slightly limited on resources... my home town has a population of 3,724 so we have no movie theater... no malls... but we do have 2 coffee shops... I think this week on my days off I'm going to start a small project... I'd like it if you all joined me... what I'm thinking I'm going to do... is walk all over my town and take pictures of anything and everything... and then post them on here... ???? sound like a fun thing guys????

[lovemnmz]

... I think this week on my days off I'm going to start a small project... I'd like it if you all joined me... what I'm thinking I'm going to do... is walk all over my town and take pictures of anything and everything... and then post them on here... ???? sound like a fun thing guys????

i love the idea of taking pictures!!! im up for it ^-^ it would also hlp me get distracted and improve on my photographic skills lol