So I'm currently in a huge dilemma, that I need to sort out decently soon.
Do I choose the path that will close the distance or do I not?
Closing the distance, would involve transferring after one year of college. Initially I was planning on transferring no matter what, either back home or to him, because I was extremely unhappy where I was. Lately, I've been a lot happier where I am (still not where I want to be, but getting there), and have started to consider not transferring at all.
So here's the pro/cons of transferring
Pros
-being with him
-being able to spend my time home with my friends and family more, instead of making him a huge priority bc it's the only time we have together
-being able to start new (I had a lot of problems with people at my school, that I now need to avoid, basically a bunch of dirtbag guys that tried to manipulate me into cheating)
-not having to worry about constant disrespect from guys
-his school is just as good for my major, and it is actually more common there
-his school has an ice-skating rink for skating and watching hockey games (this seems like a silly factor, but I feel like my school does not have much to do on campus, and I'm reduced to drinking simply for lack of something fun to do)
-his school is near canada, so when I get a car up there, hour drive to Montreal (I'm obsessed with Canada btw)
-having a sex life, stupid I know, but when we're home we have to sneak having sex bc both us live with our parents, decently conservative parents, and neither of us are talking to them about sex
- change! okay basically I'm already bored with my school. I already need some change. I hate the food here, the atmosphere has gotten old, I kind of feel like I couldn't be here for all 4 years.
Cons
-I am absolutely studying abroad and the study abroad program at his school is not as good (although, I can do a program from my current school through his school because they're both in the State University of NY system. The programs offered at his school are direct exchange, so that means they would be more affordable. SO maybe this isn't a con.
- I will be A LOT further from home, another 5 hours (so 8 hours away), I don't think I'd get homesick but I may
-His school is more north, therefore much colder. I really do not like the cold, so I do kind of fear that this will make me depressed. But if I have a cuddle buddy I think I can get through it.
-I may not be able to do music leisurely as much at his school. At my school I do both band and choir, just to keep up with something I love. His school is a big music school, so this may not be as possible there, or I may have to sing/play in lower groups.
-If I do not make friends, much of my life will depend on him. Although he says that his friends will befriend me, as a transfer I'm slightly afraid that is may be hard to make enough of my OWN friends.
-and here's my mom's favorite con "if you guys break up you'll be 8 hours away in the freezing cold." I honestly don't see this happening, and wouldn't even consider this if I thought there was any chance of us breaking up. In December, he proposed to me under the tree at Rockafeller Center with a promise ring. This has been pretty down low (by my choice) but basically he has no intentions on going anywhere.
-at my current school i can learn to be independent, less dependent on a man.
So what do you think of my dilemma? What's the better choice?
What are/did you sacrificing/sacrifice to close the distance with your SO?
Do I choose the path that will close the distance or do I not?
Closing the distance, would involve transferring after one year of college. Initially I was planning on transferring no matter what, either back home or to him, because I was extremely unhappy where I was. Lately, I've been a lot happier where I am (still not where I want to be, but getting there), and have started to consider not transferring at all.
So here's the pro/cons of transferring
Pros
-being with him
-being able to spend my time home with my friends and family more, instead of making him a huge priority bc it's the only time we have together
-being able to start new (I had a lot of problems with people at my school, that I now need to avoid, basically a bunch of dirtbag guys that tried to manipulate me into cheating)
-not having to worry about constant disrespect from guys
-his school is just as good for my major, and it is actually more common there
-his school has an ice-skating rink for skating and watching hockey games (this seems like a silly factor, but I feel like my school does not have much to do on campus, and I'm reduced to drinking simply for lack of something fun to do)
-his school is near canada, so when I get a car up there, hour drive to Montreal (I'm obsessed with Canada btw)
-having a sex life, stupid I know, but when we're home we have to sneak having sex bc both us live with our parents, decently conservative parents, and neither of us are talking to them about sex
- change! okay basically I'm already bored with my school. I already need some change. I hate the food here, the atmosphere has gotten old, I kind of feel like I couldn't be here for all 4 years.
Cons
-I am absolutely studying abroad and the study abroad program at his school is not as good (although, I can do a program from my current school through his school because they're both in the State University of NY system. The programs offered at his school are direct exchange, so that means they would be more affordable. SO maybe this isn't a con.
- I will be A LOT further from home, another 5 hours (so 8 hours away), I don't think I'd get homesick but I may
-His school is more north, therefore much colder. I really do not like the cold, so I do kind of fear that this will make me depressed. But if I have a cuddle buddy I think I can get through it.
-I may not be able to do music leisurely as much at his school. At my school I do both band and choir, just to keep up with something I love. His school is a big music school, so this may not be as possible there, or I may have to sing/play in lower groups.
-If I do not make friends, much of my life will depend on him. Although he says that his friends will befriend me, as a transfer I'm slightly afraid that is may be hard to make enough of my OWN friends.
-and here's my mom's favorite con "if you guys break up you'll be 8 hours away in the freezing cold." I honestly don't see this happening, and wouldn't even consider this if I thought there was any chance of us breaking up. In December, he proposed to me under the tree at Rockafeller Center with a promise ring. This has been pretty down low (by my choice) but basically he has no intentions on going anywhere.
-at my current school i can learn to be independent, less dependent on a man.
So what do you think of my dilemma? What's the better choice?
What are/did you sacrificing/sacrifice to close the distance with your SO?
Comment