Does leaving when you visit get any easier??

[blueeyes79]

Me and my boyfriend meet online 7 months ago, we were friends before we became a couple.. I visited him two times just as friends. I just came back last week from my first boyfriend/ girlfeind visit, and I was wondering if it gets any easier leaving him as time goes on?? I was crying Three days before I was leaving to go home.. Just the thought of not having him next to me and not holding me while we were sleeping got me upset to the point where I would start to cry... I couldnt also sleep and would start to cry again.

Thanks so much!!!

[Moon]

No, and often it gets harder every time, but you DO get used to it. Plan your next visit as soon as you can, so you have something to look forward to, and remember that every day that goes by is a day closer to seeing him again. LDR's are hard sometimes, and you'll figure out ways of coping for yourself, just stay strong and remember that it's worth it.

[Brandie]

Well for me, it's still hard for me to say goodbye to my bf. I always get teary eyed and get quiet and sad. He knows it's always hard for me, I'm fine a little after once I pick myself up and just be positive. But that goodbye is always still hard for me! It sucks!

[blankita719]

The good bye is always difficult. I cry...a lot...
So far, everytime I come back home I find it more difficult to get back into my regular routine but I do eventually. You have to just keep busy and focused so you don't get too wrapped up in being depressed post visit...

[Tabitha]

It's never gotten easier for us. It really gets harder every time. Even though we know we're only 2 1/2 months from closing the distance, yesterday may have been the hardest yet.

[blueeyes79]

Thanks guys!! I am actually going to see him next month for his birthday we have only been together for a month, and this is both mine and his first LDR... We have an awesome time when we are together, and we both arent chatter boxes so I love that we can sit there in silence doing stuff and not feel akward or anything... But sometimes I dont like that I am in New York and he is in Boston, I try to remind myself that we are only 3 hours away from each other by car and train, and only an hour flight... I wouldnt trade this for anything cause I know its gonna make me a stronger person.. It is so worth it!!

[steph_bballgirl]

one thing that helps me is to count down the days till you guys can be together next. by planning and knowing when your next visit will be, you can have something to look forward to. but its always hard to say our temporary goodbyes. josh and i never say "bye", because we feel like thats a term to be used at the end of something. since we know its not the end of us, when i drop him off at the airport, we just say "i love you, see you soon."

[BabyGund]

I just posted on my blog here how this time, it WAS easier for me when I left. I didn't cry, didn't even get teary. I was sad, but I also knew I'd see him again - we had discussed dates for a summer visit. Maybe that's the key? - discussing your next visit as the current visit is winding down, so you have something to look forward to.

[sabby64]

I'm usually alright with goodbyes, I think our first goodbye was still the hardest I get a little teary but I'm usually fine after an hour or so. Because now I know I can get through it, and by this point I'm pretty much used to him not being here, so it's better now.

[blueeyes79]

Oh trust me I do count down, and I cant stop talking about it that I actually drive my friends crazy sometimes LOL... But they dont understand. When he dropped me off at the train station we said see you later instead of bye... It was my first visit as me being his girlfriend so I knew it was gonna be hard, but I didnt expect it to be as hard as it was though.. Thanks again for the advice!!

[Freckles]

Great topic! I just got back home this evening from visiting my boyfriend for 3 weeks. Unfortunately it doesn't get easier. I cried this morning before I left, and cried again shortly after leaving his place.

I will say that having your next visit planned, even tentatively, before leaving helps tremendously. My bf and I tried that for the first time this visit and it took the sting out of the goodbye to hear him say "I'll see you in about a month", rather than just saying goodbye.

[heatherotic]

I've only had to leave my SO twice, but the second time seemed easier, for a couple reasons. First, I didn't really have the time to cry and have a long goodbye like the first time. That definitely made it a lot easier. Second, we set a date for the next time we'd see each other, even though it's not set in stone. We also both got something of each others [I got his cologne since the last bottle he gave me was becoming empty, quickly. Lol. And I made him a pillowcase with two red hearts, that said 'I love you' on it, and was covered in my perfume. He just texted me and said it's like having me there with him. ] Although, this time, I cried several times the day before I left, and once the day I got there, because it was a much shorter visit than the first one.

I think it gets a TINY bit easier, but not much. To me, it just feels so wrong to be away from him.

[NaNi]

It doesn't get any easier for me. Quite the opposite really.

[Trethsparr]

I just posted on my blog here how this time, it WAS easier for me when I left. I didn't cry, didn't even get teary. I was sad, but I also knew I'd see him again - we had discussed dates for a summer visit. Maybe that's the key? - discussing your next visit as the current visit is winding down, so you have something to look forward to.

There's a lot of truth to this. Personally, I feel a lot less sad at the end of a visit when I know I have a date for our next visit pretty set in stone before he or I leave.

He's made the majority of the trips to come see me, and I was always sad to see him off at the airport, but it was simply KILLER when I had to be the one to leave. I've found it tougher when I have to go - it's easy for me to think, "Do I really HAVE to get on this plane?"

It is tougher to part a little more each time, I think, because our bond has grown that much deeper and I've gotten used to having him around. It does become easier somewhat with time, though, because I've had the experience of my mood swings after partings and developed a few coping mechanisms that work for me.

[vpavelock]

I actually think it gets harder. The first time leaving, was hard, but I don't think it really set in that I had to live without him. Each time we're back together I feel like it's some cruel tease!