How long have you been Long Distance?

[daretolove]

Hi Friends!

I have been with the love of my live for 1.5 years now (same city), but starting this summer we'll go to grad school in different states (500 miles apart) for at least the next four years ahead. We plan to make it work, we want to make it work and we know we will BUT is 4 years too long? I'm so scared!!! He wants to marry me but doesn't want to have a long engagement, so we'd probably get engaged in 3 years not sooner...I'd be ok with a longer engagement but he doesn't want to! he asks me to trust him and so I do and I'll wait.... but, this whole LDR thing scares me so much!!! anyone is a similar situation or anyone who's been in a LDR for a similar amount of time, please, share your wisdom!!!! Thank you SO much to ALL of you for your faith in LOVE and support!!

[My Hearts in Kentucky]

We have been long distance the whole relationship which is over 2 years.

[LadyMarchHare]

4 years isn't too long. There are people who have been LD for longer and still make it work with visits and stuff like that. It seems like a long time right at the beginning, but being busy with classes and such time will fly by. As for the engagement, I can understand. My cousin's been engaged to his fiance for almost 8 years now. He proposed before she went off to pharmacy school and they were long distance most of the time and during complications they would break it off, he'd propose again, etc. Some people it works for, others not so much. If he doesn't want to have the long engagement, why not do promise rings? Similar meaning, but you're not tagging on a new label to each other just yet. You're just promising you'll be true and together.

LDRs can be scary, I admit that. But, you've come to the right place for support and advice as there are people who have survived the distance, those still going through it, and those who've been through it many times. Mainly you just need to make sure you guys communicate clearly, have complete and utter trust for one another, and have a love that knows no distance.

[lovemnmz]

Hi! i know how it feels! So far i've been LDR for 3 months, but im starting to think about the future, we were friends for a year or two before he finally asked me to be his gf. We were friends when he still lived here in NYC and then he had to go to college in another country, and not until he was in Mexico did he ask me to be his gf, i was a bit worried and anxious...mostly I didnt really trust him. Eventhough he says he loves me, I couldnt get myself used to it. It was easy at first, he had alot of time on his hand and we would spend hours talking, but then he started working and going to school and our communication started to dwindle down. I felt neglected but then I had to think about it and I said to myself, "college starts soon...and you wont have the same time like now." So now I understand him a bit better, but trust is still a big thing for me. He's in a band and so he has told me before that sometimes girls will ask for his number or that they will try and flirt with him, and I know that if he had something to hide from me, he wouldnt tell me about this but he tells me so I can trust him. 4 years is long, and i think thats how long it will take for us to re-unite. I still have 3 yhrs of college left, and he wants to be a teacher and so that might give him 3 or 4 yrs....but distance will only help you guys love each other more. You'll appreciate eachother and give each other time to live the single life before you get married! All you need is a bit of love, hope and trust and patience is a big deal, but it will be worth it!

dont give up! dont let anything ruin this, and well im guessing that grad school will keep both of you busy so you can both support each other...and you can still see eachother on breaks ^^

[lucybelle]

Long distance: 1 year 8 months.
Living together now! It can be done!

[Leigh]

Yes I agree it's scary at times but at least you have an engagement that's definately something to look foward to. I have been in a long distance relationship for 1 year and 5 months.

[paulawriteslove]

We've been long distance the whole time we've been together, which has been over 2 years.

[Luisina]

There are quite a few here that are in long-term LDRs (several years of separation), so you're definitely not alone high school, college, grad school, visa issues, money troubles, having under-age children to put ahead of yourself.. there are many different reasons..

I'm probably heading towards a 3½-4 yr LDR myself in August. My BF and I will be studying in different locations, about 4½ hours by train.. 190 miles in total.
It doesn't sound like much compared to many people here, but I've already been through one with us 10,000 miles apart where I haven't seen my BF for 6 months, so to know that you're most likely jumping RIGHT into another 3-4 yrs of LDR within 5 months (10 if we're lucky!) of us closing the distance the first time around is... well.. bittersweet.

So, yeah, I'm all with ya! It's scary, especially if you're new to the idea, but I can honestly say that it's worth it. Breaking up and not having that person in your life at all would be soooo much worse..

How often will you be able to see eachother? Have you discussed that yet?

[blueeyes79]

Its been one month for me...

[Caitlin2009]

for 2 years

[nicole]

7 months for me, will probably be LDR for a year and a half in total, if all goes to plan...

[LadyEcstsasy]

We've been in a LDR since I asked him out - it'll be 6 months in eight days but I've known him for about 3 years or so. We haven't been together a "long" time (Depending on your point of view) and we might be able to close distance in the fall (if I get into college with him). We're not really sure how things are going to work our if I don't get in, ect, ect. But he's given me a promise ring that he says he wants to replace with an engagement ring (and later wedding ring). We haven't really talked about how long an engagement would be. I wouldn't mind a long one (as in one longer than a year or even two), but I don't know how he feels. A lot of it depends on finances and I imagine he wants to be more financially secure before he proposes. So I could be waiting until he graduates (2 years or so) or longer depending on how things go.

I try not to plan so far ahead. I mean, we've talked about things but sometimes talking about the details now make me uncomfortable. I'm not really ready to settle down yet and a lot can change for me in a year or so (I'm a pretty unpredictable person). I just want to enjoy the relationship and let whatever will be, be.

[Brandie]

My SO and I were close distance for 2 months, and starting this year we are long distance, and will be long distance for this whole year! But then we will be back together next january!

[kat4301]

We have been LDR for 7 months with both of us in grad. school. The best thing about grad school is that it is busy and time seems to fly by, Are you able to spend summers together?

[Dziubka]

We have been long distance for a little over a year now and we're looking at at least another year, most likely three years. And then it'll depend on where we can find jobs. It's breaking my heart and I wish there was something we could do, to close the distance sooner, but it's really not looking very good atm.
Granted, considering the distance, we do see each other quite a lot (every 2 - 3 weeks) and he's planning to move to my country in a year, so it will be a bit cheaper and easier to see each other and we might even be able to see each other every or at the very least every other weekend.
But we'll still be LDR and it'll still cost a lot of effort (and money *sigh*) to see each other that often.

By now I'm convinced that the distance is not going to break us up, though. We've been doing this for a year and we're both willing to do it for as long as it takes until we'll be able to live together.