One big pet peeve of mine, over people who were already in CD relationships!!

[Caitlin2009]

I dont know if this pisses anybody else off but it seems like people who are in CD relationships always wanna break up over the stupidest silliest things ever!!! A friend of mine who is always sad and depressed when her SO has to work for a few days and she wont see her, now apparently they are having relationship issues because according to her "its the same thing over and over again" so they seem to be on the verge of breaking up, and its like for FUCK SAKE whatever it is just sit down, talk it out until its solved. nothing is gonna get done or solved if you both sulk around and not talk about it!!! being in a LDR has made me so fed up with people who in CDR's who refuse to work on there relationship if it gets hard, we have it harder then they do and yet most of us can work whatever the hell the problem is and solve it!!!! ARRRRRRRGGGG!!!!

[Dziubka]

I guess I see your point. But really.... it's their relationship. Maybe there's a million other things wrong, that you just don't know about and whatever it is that might seem like an unimportant reason, is only the tip of the iceberg.
When my ex and I broke up and a lot of our common friends would all tell us that we should think it over and that we were such a cute/perfect/whatever couple, I understood that things are not always what they seem like for outsiders. It wasn't actually a big thing for us, we didn't fight. It was over and that was ok for us, we didn't want to stay together.
Other people's relationships are really none of our business. Unless they ask us, we're not in a place to judge them and tell them what to do.

Although, when my friends tell me how much they miss their SOs that they haven't seen for x days and when I say something go "but for you it's different", I really want to be angry. But then... I do understand it. I'd also miss my boyfriend a lot if he'd only be gone for a few days.

[LadyEcstsasy]

lol I've felt that way with friends who were long or close distance when they ask me for relationship advice (and then convinently doesn't listen to a word I say and waste my time). I've heard it all from "I don't mind that we never talk to each other, I mean I don't understand why it's the way it is, but you know, I can deal with it." - while she's practially crying and avoiding talking to him about serious issues because she's afraid he'll dump her. To another girl all upset because her "boyfriend" (he doesn't like her, but she likes him) lives 3 days away and she never sees him and rarely talks to him and she just can't live without him - but won't tell him she likes him. And then the close distance ones get upset over things like not being able to sleep together for one night, or not getting a kiss goodbye, or not talking for a few hours, or he's always hanging out with his friends ect, ect.

I listen to them as best I can but sometimes it just seems so pathetic and so simple. I don't get why everyone comes to me and my friends with long-distance relationships say they envy me for how "easy" mine is. Easy? Really? If only they knew. And then close distance ones are like "you wouldn't understand, you have to really love someone to be with them all the time". wtf -.- If I really had to say statistically among my friends, those who are close distance are almost 50-60% more likely to break up faster and move on to someone else faster. It's like boyfriends/girlfriends are peanuts around here.

Aaah. I actually feel a little better for that lol. I get so tired of playing 'marriage counselor'.

[Rosebud]

I can't really be angry with them. Sure, they get to see their SO's more often than we do, but that's pretty much the only difference they have compared to us. People in LDR's fight too. We're not perfect. And just because a couple is CD doesn't mean they don't still have their outside life (family, work, school, friends) they need to juggle and spend time with as well. Not all LDR's are made to last, just as not all CDR's are made to last. Maybe what they're fighting about seems stupid to you, but maybe to them what some people fight about in LDR's seems stupid too. Because maybe what's truly bothering them can't be solved just by sitting down and talking about it. Maybe they just weren't meant to be together. Such is life.

[bluepotato1236]

Yeah it annoyed me too sometimes.. but to me its their relationship..and like Dziubka said, maybe there are many millions problems that they are facing that we dont know.. If they are really meant to be together, things will be different probably? they will make things work naturally.just an opinion tho...

[Sara4417]

I have a situation like that that bothers me sometimes. But it's not really something that I should be mad or upset about. My sister is dating this guy and she is head over heels for him. She will complain to me if she doesn't get to see him for more than about a day...even though they see each other in school everyday. And I think to myself, "Geeze. I wish I only had to wait a couple days instead of months to see my boyfriend." However, you guys made some valid points ^. They are in a close distance relationship and if I still was I would probably be sad if I didn't get to see him for a few days. But, the ugly green jealousness likes to pop up quite often as she gets to see him so often. I found what helped was to tell her I understand she misses him, but it makes me upset because I rarely get to see my boyfriend and told her she can complain about it all she wants but would prefer if she tried not to complain about it to me.

[London-FortCollins]

My biggest grievance with my CD is, as some people mentioned the "I can't be apart for even one night" seriously one of my (sadly now former) friends would stay over or have somone stay with her if her fiancé had to work just one night because she literally couldn't sleep without him.

Another thing that pisses me off is the 'friends' who don't understand how hard it is when you first get back from a visit. "get over it, pull yourself together, you'll see him again 'soon'" etc etc. Im like "Great, I've been back 48hrs, that's really what I need to hear right now.

Anyways

[Zephii]

I can't really be angry with them. Sure, they get to see their SO's more often than we do, but that's pretty much the only difference they have compared to us. People in LDR's fight too. We're not perfect. And just because a couple is CD doesn't mean they don't still have their outside life (family, work, school, friends) they need to juggle and spend time with as well. Not all LDR's are made to last, just as not all CDR's are made to last. Maybe what they're fighting about seems stupid to you, but maybe to them what some people fight about in LDR's seems stupid too. Because maybe what's truly bothering them can't be solved just by sitting down and talking about it. Maybe they just weren't meant to be together. Such is life.

This ^. I agree!

Seriously though, I think your main problem is jealousy or perhaps just an inability to be able to relate to others. It's hard being CD and still not seeing your SO. When you're LD, you know you're not going to see them in person, it's a fact and you deal with it. When you're CD, you've got dinner going cold on the table and they sms to tell you they are working back yet again - that truly sucks. And if it happens often enough, and a solution can't be found, that's a dealbreaker for some people.

Instead of thinking nothing can be harder than your LDR perhaps you should walk a mile in their shoes? Even if you don't gain understanding, you'll get new shoes

We all have relationship problems... "People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones"

[vpavelock]

It's funny that you say that. Looking back to when me and my bf were CD, almost ALL of our problems derived from the fact that we'd end up being LD (because we had already applied to separate schools). The first time we really fought and almost broke up was because I was afraid we were getting too close, and I didn't want to end up in another LD relationship (my last bf, went to college and I was still in HS.) He realized I would never let my guard down, and wanted to end it right then, instead of being hurt later. The whole fight ended in me telling him I loved him for the first time, and opening myself up to the possibility of staying together and having a longterm relationship with him. A few days before I left for school, I fought so badly with my boyfriend-- that time when we were supposed to be cherishing every moment. I pushed him away like crazy, and basically made a fight out of nothing at all and drove him crazy. He couldn't understand where it was all coming from, but dealing with the distance away from someone I loved so much killed me and I thought if I tried to love him less and push him away it'd make it easier. In a perfect world, where we began CD and were able to stay CD, I really don't think we would have many problems at all, so I understand where you're coming from. CD couples should cherish that they don't have to deal with these long spans of time apart and their problems have much easier, simple solutions (most of the time) than a LD relationship does.

[FadedSunrise]

I feel really really bad for sometimes also feeling this way. I realize its also because I often have such a problem relating to others. The result is that I genuinely don't talk about my SO to anybody else. Lest I start bitching and moaning to them and feel bad about annoying them. When people ask I don't say I'm taken, but I also don't say I'm single...but really at this point in my life if I were not with my SO I would just be single. Not interested in looking when I can barely keep my head above the waters of life pressure.

[Sora1101]

This also annoys me to no end, I have a friend who is in a CD relationship and she is always complaining to me about how she misses her SO inbetween the 5 minutes it takes to walk to class, literally she bitches about not being able to see him for 5 minutes. Then when I try to stay calm and make a joke about how at least she doesn't have to wait months to see her SO she's start saying how lucky I am that my SO isn't here with me, like just because he isn't here I don't miss him.

She also complains about having a boyfriend younger than she is and is always saying how lucky I am my SO is older, she seems to ignore the fact that if her boyfriend was as old as mine she wouldn't be able to be all PDA with him, the one time I did get to see him of course we couldn't do anything too coupley and just hearing her whine about how amazing it would be to have an older boyfriend just sets my teeth on edge, even though I am always making light hearted comments about it sometimes I just want to be able to complain too without my friends saying I told you so, or it was your choice to be with him.

[erinewelsh]

I'm a firm believer that there is such thing as spending TOO much time together, and that is a problem that people in LDRs tend to avoid pretty easily haha. I think a lot of people become so attached to their SO that they forget that they're supposed to have lives outside of that person as well. So sometimes little things can become magnified because that's ALL that person has to focus on. Those of us in LDRs tend to value the time we get with our SOs a little more, and also usually have lives outside of our relationships, moreso because we have to than by choice, but you get the point, I think.

[Caitlin2009]

This ^. I agree!

Seriously though, I think your main problem is jealousy or perhaps just an inability to be able to relate to others. It's hard being CD and still not seeing your SO. When you're LD, you know you're not going to see them in person, it's a fact and you deal with it. When you're CD, you've got dinner going cold on the table and they sms to tell you they are working back yet again - that truly sucks. And if it happens often enough, and a solution can't be found, that's a dealbreaker for some people.

Instead of thinking nothing can be harder than your LDR perhaps you should walk a mile in their shoes? Even if you don't gain understanding, you'll get new shoes

We all have relationship problems... "People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones"

first off i aint jelous not one part of my post said anything like that, i was just saying its been a pet peeve of mine thats all! and the inability to relate to others wow i actually do :/.....but once again no thats not what its about. ive been friends with her for a very long time shes the one i can tell anything to, so i relate really well to her, yeah i know we all have relationship problems thats not what i was getting at, like i said whatever the problem is you can work it out ok it may take a couple of days sometimes but anything is fixable if you want it to work.

[LovingHim]

I think it's hard for people in CDR to understand LD relationship, before I entered mine I had no idea what to expect. At least, it made me realise earlier that I really want to make it work; and seeing 'problems' of CD relationships just made my love stronger, because my boyfriend is simply a really good person, he always supports me, I am attracted to him... I'm just really thankful for having him in my life

But a friend of mine at my university keeps asking me annoying questions like if me and my boyfriend don't see each other too little, why am I missing school becuase of him, if I don't want to go with her to 'take me out' (just within my university) and stuff like that, and being a first year student, not everyone knows I have a boyfriend and sometimes at parties my so called girl friends give my number to any good looking guy if he asks for it, even though I myself refuse to do it and when I mention I have a boyfriend, they (these guys) are joking like 'really, where is he?' That annoys me.

[prinzeza87]

so true! i get ur point, i c that daily with friends, sometimes its annoying cos they give up so easy or not even that, but they dont really appreciate much of their relationships as we most do... i hate n laugh sarcastically when one of my friends says shes upset for small things, n more when she denies a kiss from her SO because whatever stupid reason when im dying for one from my SO, when i have to wait eternal months to have him next to me!!!! blahhhhh! people!!!! once again its lack of appreciating everything, anything...