Age difference, older ladies, did you get grief?

[Dziubka]

I do get stupid comments, not a lot, but considering that we're only a year apart, I get them way too much.
My boyfriend looks quite a bit younger than he really is, so when people see his pic on my phone or whatever, they often go "OMG!!!11 How old is he?!" followed by long explanations that they'd never date younger guys (or even guys their age), because they're soo immature and whatevs. Gah. Even if he was as young as he looks. Flash news: if he was an immature prick, I wouldn't be dating him.

Seriously, if it was they other way round, no one would even give it a second thought. One year really isn't a difference at all.

When I was 19 I had a good friend who was 16 and there was definitely some tension between us. I brought him home one day and my roommate obviously noted something and she almost freaked out on me after that. Telling me he was just a child, that I couldn't do that and shouldn't see him anymore. My other flatmates dropped hints about me seducing children, too. We weren't even dating or anything. I mean, things didn't work out between us for a number of reasons an nothing ever happened anyway, but I still sort of get angry at their reactions. I'm 100% totally convinced, that if it had been a 19yr old guy and 16yr old girl, no one would have thought anything about it.
(We don't really have contact anymore but I look at his facebook pictures from time to time -- he's still very good looking and he's incredibly smart. I'm sure he's gonna get far in life.)

[Tanja]

Andy's 5 years younger than me and when I told everyone they did laugh a bit but I don't think it was in a nasty way, more like they were a bit jealous of me and went "ooooh a YOUNGER man"
He was only 19 when we met but he's always acted more mature than some of my male friends who are 10 years older than me... If anyone makes fun of our age "gap" I just tell them having a younger partner is what they all can only dream about

[komakino]

Im 29 and my SO is 21 (22 in may) I wouldnt say ive come up against much grief. Most of my female (and a few of the male) friends seem impressed more than anything. Ive had a few good natured teasing comments about being a cougar, but even my other half sometimes jokingly refers to me as his cougar anyway so it doesnt bother me at all. I tell them im a puma until i hit +30

As I mentioned in a previous post the only issue ive come up against is actually from my mother. While she is suportive and wants me to be happy, in a recent conversation she admitted that she worries about the age gap and that we may be at "different times in our life". Im convinced this is nothing but her desire to be a grandmother coming out, and because im coming up to those "child years" i guess she worries that what i have with my SO wont last because of the distance, and his age, and that it may be too late after then for me to settle down an have kids if it doesnt work out. My mother is actually 3 years older than my dad anyway so she can talk

[xopookie]

There seems to be a double standard going on! So what if you're dating a younger man, at least you're not an old ass guy with them creepy bimbos uwww! LOL esp. when you see his wrinkly hands all over that stupid young girl lol!! AKWARD LOL! But you're just find, I just don't have respect for men that wants a trophy wife and then dump them when they realize that they have no substance well duh! LOL

[Alisz]

I'm 26 (27 next month, omg...) and he's 23 (turned last January). The way our birthdays are set up we can kinda fib and say we're only 3 years apart, but it's actually 4. Which isn't that big of a deal, I guess. But I have heard some grief from friends who've remarked on the age difference saying that he's too young and immature. I completely agree with Silviar that maturity comes from life experience. He has had more than me, so he's actually more mature than I am. ^^;;

His side of the family doesn't have a problem with it, but probably because most of his friends are closer to my age. Tbh, he's the biggest griefer of them all. Joking around that I'm a cougar or an old lady XD

But I don't openly tell people about the age difference because whether I agree with it or not, there is a stigma about it. It's more entertaining to let people come up with their own conclusions anyways. Most of the time they think it's the other way around. That he's in his late 20s and I'm... well tbh they think I'm still in high school... ^^;;; It'll be rounded up to 19 because obviously I'm not jailbait heh Then we tell them that I'm older and they just don't believe it.

[Rane]

Once my parents realized that Garnet and I were in a serious relationship, they didn't give it a second thought. They did say that if she was a lawyer or doctor that they'd pay for my plane ticket though. :P

I was never one to have lots of friends, but my friends knew me enough to know that I'm more mature than a lot of men in my age group. (Gotta work on that ego though!). My brother and I were raised as more liberal thinkers, and as such my friends were more open minded as well, so no thought was really given to it.

People are people, age is just a number. It's practically in human nature to fear, and therefore lash out at what they don't understand.

[Goldtang]

My bf are exactly 10 years apart (birthday on the same day, he turns 30, I turn 40) and we live 6 hours apart. I honestly only get grief from myself, wondering if I have to compete with all the 30 year old women and when my bf does or says something that I think is silly I have to remind myself that he is only 30 and may not have experience in certain areas. I didnt mean to be a cougar, he approached and persued me till I basically fell in love with him, then three months later he tells me he is moving to Washington. He wanted to keep us together but its harder on me because I always feel my time left on this earth may be shorter than his and Im ready to get my new life with him started asap! He said he is not ready for me to move in with him so I dropped that issue. The age thing doesnt matter that much but I do feel out of sorts sometimes when I realize all his friends are haveing 30th birthday parties and getting married for the first time and all my friends are getting divorces and haveing grandbabies brought to them!

[Deleted Account]

i am a year and a half older than my bf and i got grief.. lol...

I got it because we're both really young i was just turning 22 when we met and he had just turned 20.. so to my parents i was of marriagable age... but he was definitely too young.. >< just a year and a half difference tho..

[garnet]

Once my parents realized that Garnet and I were in a serious relationship, they didn't give it a second thought. They did say that if she was a lawyer or doctor that they'd pay for my plane ticket though. :P

Maybe that was meant as a joke, but they kept saying it. Made me feel like crap.

[Jonesonaboat]

I am 20 and my boyfriend is a LOT older than I am. He is 55.
Most people were shocked at first, but as soon as they could see how in love we were they're totally okay with it. My parents can't wait to meet the man that makes their daughter so happy. And his family that I have met I've really got on with.

I don't have daddy issues or anything like that! Before him I had perfectly normal relationships (inc a 5 year one with a guy just two years older) but I'd always been open about being attracted to much older men. When my guy came along he really did tick every single box. And age was never an issue for us.

His mates tease him about it, typical man banter which I find really amusing and I get the odd teasing from my friends too.

But really, if anybody can't accept it then I just think it's their problem. My man is not a rich old man I'm taking advantage of, and he's not going through a midlife crisis and using a young girl to parade around with. And it amazes me how much we have in common.

All my family have accepted him and they can all see how crazy we are about each other
Age really is just a number!

[FadedSunrise]

He's 5 years older, and the parents, when they knew, gave me so much hell and grief. How he's just using me. How he's too serious(hi, those two are contradictions, thank you). How we can never understand each other because we're apart in age("Not a generation, but given what ages you ARE, it's pretty close to that difference"). How he's stealing my opportunities at better men because he fails, and is old and thus too serious(but yes, he can be too serious and using me at the same time, right.)

Of course though, they're biased because they're exactly the same age, and was a perfectly matched set up couple by their parents, which worked out. And then they expect me to do the same. -_-

[sar1603]

I'm older than my boyfriend, and we get a lot a hassle from his family, especially his dad, he has even gone as far as to threaten me on two occasions. Our major problem is that he works for his dad, so his dad uses this as a way of stopping him coming to see me. He did it last week actually, the day before my birthday, and this visit had been planned for 6 weeks. Previously I have always dated older men, and never thought I could fall for someone younger than me, but how wrong was I!! He has accepted my daughter like he is her own, and despite the 8 year age gap, he is far more mature than me.
I think as long as two people are happy and the age difference doesn't bother them then thats all that should matter (sadly I know reality isn't like that)

[heatherotic]

I don't really fall into this category because I'm only 9 months older than my SO, but I'M the one that does a lot of the joking about our age difference. He's 19 at the moment and I'm 20, but it doesn't bother me. If we had a bigger age difference, I'd still joke about it as much as I do now. I'm honestly trying to find a necklace that says "Cougar."

But I really don't think it should be such a big deal. I understand it's not as much of an...everyday thing as older guys, but seriously? People just need to mind their own business and let others be happy.

[MissShortie]

I'm not 5 years older than Clay... only 3 years but because he is still in high school it feels as if I am 5 years older or something to others, my dad is the first person to say he doesn't like that Clay is younger.... but I keep thinking if it had been the other way around he would still hate it.

[8983MilesofLove]

I think it's just because a lot of people are so traditional and conservative (the idea that the man has to be older than the woman etc etc)...it's all rubbish. It doesn't matter what the age difference is as long as you're both happy and love each other. Personally if anyone in my family had anyone much younger...as long as they were happy...I'd be happy.
If your family members truly care about you and love you, they won't care so long as you're happy (ie, Garnet, your mum clearly cares about you a lot and doesn't care about the age gap as long as you're happy...compared to other members of your family who don't care so much...)