When is enough enough?

[blankita719]

At the very minimum, our circumstances won't change for another 2 and a half years. If we saw each other 6 times a year, that 2 and a half years would be a lot easier to bear. I'm now in my early 30's, with a child and a career. He is in his early 40's, also with a child and career. I'd love, love, love to make that shorter because I do want to get married and possibly have another child, so for me the two and a half years left seems like the most I am willing to do. Something would have to change at that point. Ask me another day and I may change my mind. We see each other 3-4 times a year as is, so maybe more visits would make me think differently about the time. But not too much longer because the biological clock is ticking for me

[steph_bballgirl]

i dont think i could last 6-8 yearrs. thats a long time. i definitely need him sooner than that. i think my max would be 3-4 years. 5 tops.

[Engel]

HAVING to say when. i guess until i was 28 or 29, 30 TOPS, because thats the age i want to have a child. and i would not like to raise a kid in a LDR. im going to be 23 in october of 2011.
he is the love of my life, and i would wait for him and only him, i wouldnt even be in a LDR with any other guy i ever met in my life. im just really lucky we already closed the distance, but yes, i would wait for him, he makes my world better, he is worthy anything.

[MadMolly]

When I was long distance, I would have easily said years. Now I've been CD with him for a year, I would not do more than a year LDR ever again.

Distance sucks. The thought of ever returning to it just doesn't appeal to me. I have a life to live.

[churchgrim]

Well I'll have been with my boyfriend for four years in August, without having seen each other.
For me personally, I can't see myself ending the relationship because I'm fed up with the distance, at least not anytime soon. But I certainly can't be in a LDR 'forever'.

I've had a lot of down days, where I've cried and been angry at him for not coming to me sooner, but looking back on these four years I know we can stretch the date to our first meeting another year or so, and then another year after that to be with each other permanantly.

So I guess my answer is two years maximum to be living with each other.

[lpuckett]

I feel like there is no reason to wait that long. Life is short. 2 years would have been my max, good thing I ended after 1.5 years (but only 8 months LD). I know this might sound harsh, but what are your priorities, if being together with that person at your side is not the top priority, I promise it would be with the right person.

[Kristie]

My SO and I in less than a year have seen each other 7 times. The longest have been a month and half. Financially that is going to change now. It might now go as far as probably 3-6 months, since we are trying to save up to close the distance.

[books]

He's said as long as it takes, but honestly I don't feel the same. We've been in an international LD for about 4 months now and it sucks- infrequent visits, super expensive communication (no skype, just calls to his cell) and I have no vacation policy at my job so I'm losing a week's pay when I go visit. I'm also older than him and feel like I'm ready to start a family, so waiting 6, 7, years is really not an option for me. He is still in university but will be done in a year and a half, so we've roughly said Dec 2012 to close the distance. That will make it right around 2 years LD, which I think is my limit. In the Fall, I'm going to apply to an international fellowship which may place me in his country July of next year. That would be sooooo amazing, but who knows? I think I'll feel better when I get a set timeline in place, right now there are lots of unknowns in the mix.

[JEREIANEDREI]

I haven't ever really thought about it.

I would be willing to wait about 6-8 years as long as we saw each other on a regular basis. Luckily we are hopefully closing the distance within the next eighteen months.

I would do what I had to do to close the distance, I am not willing to lose him! And as long as we had a plan for closing the distance I would wait as long as I had to (although I never promised I would be patient).

yeah...I think it must be as soon as possible...I cant wait that long,,,and I know my SO wont let it be...

[Butterfly]

Yes, my answer is different now than it used to be. When we first started dating, I thought, OK I can probably do this for about a year..

Now we are coming up on our year anniversary and there is NO doubt in my mind that I can do this for longer. Realistically, we probably will be LD for at least another year.. (Unless I make the decision to move in with him, which can't happen anytime soon.) We make it work, and will continue too.

I guess if it did come down to it, 3 years would be my cut off... I can't imagine him wanting to wait that long either. Not saying we'd break up, but at that point one of us would have to make some serious decisions.

[LovingHim]

We have done our first year of LDR and have 3 more to go. I wouldn't be willing to wait more than that.

If this relationship won't work out, I wouldn't go into another LDR, unless it's less than 6 months.

[SDPersona]

Hmm, I think I'd be able to endure two to three years of being LDR, but afterwards I'd definitely want to close the distance. That'd be best case scenario. Worst case would be having to break up, because I definitely don't want to wait for someone who doesn't plan on having a family sometime ...