his parents

[Silencedsongs]

I hate to say it, but if those are really his conditions.. If they don't accept you, it's done? Then best to find out, and not waste anymore of your time... =/

Personally, I don't think that's fair at all, but if that's not something that's going to change you deserve to know and to not be hidden.

[dutchgirl]

he said that i have to patient. He will fight for us but don't want to chose between me or his parents. His parents will need a lot of time to accept me as his gf so he thinks it's better to wait to tell them. In 28 days i'll be there and he don't want to tell his parents yet that i coming back. Not even as a "friend"
He also said that if he tells his parents know that I am his gf, everything will be ruined.
If he waits too long it will be ruined too...

[adrian]

I know nothing about his culture. But, if he is telling you that if they don't accept you it is over. Well, the sooner the better than. I mean how long are you going to have to wait to see if they accept you. And how much will invest in this relationship and your heart and then waaaaaaaaaaay down the line, could be bam, they won't accept you it;s over. and there your are left in the dust.

You are the one who has to live with your decision. these are his issues, and you need to decide if you are willing to be with him or not.

[LadyMarchHare]

Maybe I'm being a tad ignorant but if a grown person's relationship honestly hung in the balance to only be swayed by their parents, I wouldn't be with that person. And to not want to choose between you and his family? I could understand if that circumstance was a kid, but it's his parents. He can respect their opinions without putting your neck on the block for the guillotine if they don't approve.

I realize you care about him and are trying to be understanding, but I really don't think it's fair that YOUR relationship relies on HIS parents and he wants to hide you like you're this big, dirty secret. I would never want to feel like my SO was ashamed of me in any manner.

[dutchgirl]

I care about him a lot. And he doesn't know how his parents will react.
I've been there twice in a hotel and his parents liked it that i was there. But just as a friend.
And my bf said he don't know how his parents will react when i come back for the 3rd time and how his parents will react if he tells them I am his gf. But he don't want to try either
If I write something nice on his facebook, he deletes it because he is afraid that his friends will tell his parents about me. I'll talk to him about this tonight. It's really bothering me.

[Silencedsongs]

I'm truly sorry this has been so difficult for you, but I still stand by what I said before... =/

How long are your supposed to wait, or rather- how long have you already been waiting?

[LadyMarchHare]

I care about him a lot. And he doesn't know how his parents will react.
I've been there twice in a hotel and his parents liked it that i was there. But just as a friend.
And my bf said he don't know how his parents will react when i come back for the 3rd time and how his parents will react if he tells them I am his gf. But he don't want to try either
If I write something nice on his facebook, he deletes it because he is afraid that his friends will tell his parents about me. I'll talk to him about this tonight. It's really bothering me.

That's a huge red flag to me, I'm sorry. I mean really, to go so far as to hide any trace of whatever could be interpreted as something more than friendship? That's paranoia to the extreme. There is a grand line between being worried about what his parents will think and just flat out shoving you under a rock and telling you to stay there because it's easier. What would they do if they didn't approve, turn him into a eunuch and send him into the priesthood?

[dutchgirl]

In 20 days I will be back with him and yesterday evening he told his parents that I am coming back.
They were a little bit surprised and now they think that I am a "special" friend.
He still didn't tell them that I am his girlfriend.