Trade-off: Giving things up for your SO

[Moon]

My lifelong dream of moving south, to some tropical place on a beach. Nobody I've ever known would ever guess I could end up in Finland, including me, but as long as he's there, it doesn't matter where it is.

[erinewelsh]

I am a pre-med student, and was worried that being with my boyfriend would hinder my ability to go on to med school. He has two sons who I refuse to take him away from, so moving away from where he lives is not an option for me. Luckily for me, he lives about 5 minutes away from the University of Notre Dame, which has a fantastic med school partnership with Indiana University, so I will be able to do at least the first year or two of med school right in South Bend, but will likely have to go to Indianapolis for the last part. That's still better than the 991 miles that currently separates us though, so I'll take it!

[Zephii]

I know I'm going to sound like a selfish bitch, Buuuuuuuut... I'm not giving up a damned thing for Obi, and that's how it's going to be. Aside from the time I lose with my loved ones for him, but he'll be doing the same for me, it's just how it is really. I will put things off for him, for example I could have gone straight to uni from highschool, but I came to Canada instead, however I'm not really giving up something I already had and if I do find I want to study it'll still be there later.

Giving up things just lead us to resentment, so now we just do everything we can to have the best of both worlds.

[London-FortCollins]

...I'm gonna miss things like free refills (oh, how I love thee diet coke)

Lol! This is one of the things I LOVE about the US! Its such a foreign concept to me, but I love it!

Me and my SO have agreed that whichever country we move to, we will both move. For example if I were to move to the US we were thinking about moving from Colorado to the East Coast. We're likely to be moving to the UK, I currently live in London but we both adore the idea of Scotland so thats where I'm applying for jobs and such at the moment.

So we'll both be giving up a lot in terms of friends, family etc. We decided that was the fairest way for both of us, plus we could both do with fresh starts and beginning new chapters in our lives.

The other major thing I've "given up" is alcohol. My SO is in AA. He didn't ask me to give it up, but it made him uncomfortable. He said for his own self preservation he would have to emotionally distance himself when he knew I was out drinking with my friends. I knew where my priorities were, even that early on in our relationship.

Alcohol is not a big deal for me. Sure occasionally I'll really feel in the mood for a Baileys coffee cos I really like the flavor of it but thats about it :-P . I have no desire to go out drinking. I still go out and have an amazing time when I go out clubbing or whatever, minus the hangover and feelings of regret - SCORE!

My friends and family made a really big deal out of it. Said I was "Changing for him" I'm sorry, since when was not drinking a bad thing? If I regretted it or didnt want to thats understandable, but surely those who loved me could see I was happy to make that decision?

Its weird the amount of people who were like "What about if you just dont drink when your around him?" Obviously I wouldn't anyway, but thats not the issue. He would be uncomfortable about my drinking...period so it wouldnt make a difference whether I was with him or not. Another thing that has really upset me is the amount of people who have said "You could just have a drink - he wont know" Yeah well I could "Just sleep with some random - he wont know" But I'm not going to. Any of these people ever heard of that magic T word? Apparently not...

Apologies </rant>