Hi my name is Kevin, I use to be a semi-active member in the community when I had a LD relationship. Sadly, one month ago things finally fell through, the distance was too much for her and things fell apart. Currently, I am having trouble moving on with my life. Our relationship ended strangely, and left me with many unanswered questions and extremely depressed.
Background: In September of last year while attending university, I met a beautiful young girl. This young girl was a foreign exchange student learning English, and after talking on the bus a few times and hanging out we fell for each other. Sadly, the time came when she had to leave the country and even though I liked her I hid most of my emotions for both of our well being. Six weeks would go by and we continued to talk more and more on the phone; one thing let to another and eventually we were having a long distance relationship.
The Good: The first month was great! Both of us are busy people so even though we didn't talk much, Skype talks were a blast and it was great learning more about each other and I felt that our relationship was going fine. We introduced each other to our families, talked about our dreams, our aspirations, it was amazing. Everytime we talked, we found more and more in common and for that time I felt as if I was the luckiest man in the world and I hope she felt special too
The Bad: After a while; things started to get bad when my ex was feeling lonely; she wanted me to be there for her but considering I was in school, realistically there was nothing I could do until the summer. This is when I came up with the idea to go and visit her during summer vacation; it was 4 months away at the time but at least if the two of us had something to look forward to, maybe it could give the relationship the hope it needed to finally work. So I applied for my passport, and told her I had a surprise to tell her on our one month. The one month came around and I told her I was coming to see her in the summer. At first she was excited and started to talk about all the amazing things we were going to do; and then she started to freak out because she was in med school and misunderstood me and though I wanted to spend every minute while I was there with her jeopardizing her career. (this was not cleared up until after we broke up :/) We did not talk for a few days after that, and then we started to talk again and the night finally came when I got dumped. This being said, it was not a typical breakup, we had a six hour conversation discussing it, all of the possibilities of what could or would happen if different scenarios played out and that we promised to still see each other again eventually and still continue to talk.
The current situation: It has been a solid month since we broke up. It has not been easy, the breakup left me confused because to this day I really do not know what went wrong. Was it that I was rushing things, maybe, but I do not really know. What further complicates things is that in only 7 weeks I will be visiting her country doing volunteer work; I decided to go through with it for 2 weeks since it interested me and also hoping that it will give me the opportunity to move on with my life one way or another. We talk almost everyday, we continue to tell each other about everything that goes on in our lives, future challenges we are to face and ask each other for advice. The few times someone has overheard me on the phone there has been comments that it is pretty obvious she still has some feelings for me.
In a way, perhaps what I seek is forbidden love; something that can never be, but that I will always crave. She is everything I guy could want in a woman, smart, hardworking, naturally beautiful, funny, and caring. Nobody puts a smile on my face like she oddly still does everyday. I have gone out on dates and have joined online dating sites, anything that will help me move on but it all makes me think about her anymore. Perhaps what I am asking the forum is what do I do in terms of: Keeping my options open and/or moving on.
I need advice because as the days go by things do not get any easier.
Thanks,
Kevz
Background: In September of last year while attending university, I met a beautiful young girl. This young girl was a foreign exchange student learning English, and after talking on the bus a few times and hanging out we fell for each other. Sadly, the time came when she had to leave the country and even though I liked her I hid most of my emotions for both of our well being. Six weeks would go by and we continued to talk more and more on the phone; one thing let to another and eventually we were having a long distance relationship.
The Good: The first month was great! Both of us are busy people so even though we didn't talk much, Skype talks were a blast and it was great learning more about each other and I felt that our relationship was going fine. We introduced each other to our families, talked about our dreams, our aspirations, it was amazing. Everytime we talked, we found more and more in common and for that time I felt as if I was the luckiest man in the world and I hope she felt special too
The Bad: After a while; things started to get bad when my ex was feeling lonely; she wanted me to be there for her but considering I was in school, realistically there was nothing I could do until the summer. This is when I came up with the idea to go and visit her during summer vacation; it was 4 months away at the time but at least if the two of us had something to look forward to, maybe it could give the relationship the hope it needed to finally work. So I applied for my passport, and told her I had a surprise to tell her on our one month. The one month came around and I told her I was coming to see her in the summer. At first she was excited and started to talk about all the amazing things we were going to do; and then she started to freak out because she was in med school and misunderstood me and though I wanted to spend every minute while I was there with her jeopardizing her career. (this was not cleared up until after we broke up :/) We did not talk for a few days after that, and then we started to talk again and the night finally came when I got dumped. This being said, it was not a typical breakup, we had a six hour conversation discussing it, all of the possibilities of what could or would happen if different scenarios played out and that we promised to still see each other again eventually and still continue to talk.
The current situation: It has been a solid month since we broke up. It has not been easy, the breakup left me confused because to this day I really do not know what went wrong. Was it that I was rushing things, maybe, but I do not really know. What further complicates things is that in only 7 weeks I will be visiting her country doing volunteer work; I decided to go through with it for 2 weeks since it interested me and also hoping that it will give me the opportunity to move on with my life one way or another. We talk almost everyday, we continue to tell each other about everything that goes on in our lives, future challenges we are to face and ask each other for advice. The few times someone has overheard me on the phone there has been comments that it is pretty obvious she still has some feelings for me.
In a way, perhaps what I seek is forbidden love; something that can never be, but that I will always crave. She is everything I guy could want in a woman, smart, hardworking, naturally beautiful, funny, and caring. Nobody puts a smile on my face like she oddly still does everyday. I have gone out on dates and have joined online dating sites, anything that will help me move on but it all makes me think about her anymore. Perhaps what I am asking the forum is what do I do in terms of: Keeping my options open and/or moving on.
I need advice because as the days go by things do not get any easier.
Thanks,
Kevz
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