Drinking and alcohol -- super super stressed out

[sheraccoon]

@Horizondreaming, thank you so much for that comment! I guess I might have been a bit passive aggressive. Although, on hindsight, I don't even know why I was so mad at the situation. He's done this before, and most of the time I'm perfectly alright with it. I have a lot of trust in my SO because I know he's not the kind of person who would cheat. I guess the stress is getting to me more than it should, especially when you deal with bad news after bad news for the last 48 hours...

@13000km, LostInLove and Dziubka, I realize that I might have been overreacting to my situation and taking my frustration out at my SO. Admittedly I would certainly have preferred if he had been around as an emotional support, but then again, I need to accept that fact that he has a life to live and even during the period when we were CD he goes out social dancing and partying all the time too without me. Sometimes he comes across as though he doesn't give a crap in his text messages, which saddens me sometimes. And I guess that in this situation that tone of messages were enough to push me over the edge. I certainly think it's something to work on, which I will do my utmost best to bring up the next time. The issue is, our relationship is mostly amiable, and loving, and 99% of the time we don't have any problems! ^___^ We're really similar in our way of thinking, opinions and actions, but both enjoy a good debate. My SO is a very responsible drinker, or so I hope I'm right! Our relationship was built on us basically meeting at a party, so I shouldn't even have a problem with that. Plus he social dances! I don't understand myself sometimes. /weird girl is weird

Our relationship is really just about us talking and sharing our lives with each other, etc, so I'm sure this topic will come up again, hopefully when I've managed to settle everything, register for classes etc. Basically get over this situation I don't want to deal with but I don't have a choice. I hope I didn't react too badly, or did stupid things, but blah, I suppose I don't work very well under stress when everything just stops working out. I guess it was just a problem of "wrong place, wrong time".

I'll keep you guys posted - we kinda ended the USA day on not the best terms. I haven't heard back from him and am going to sleep soonish, so maybe when i wake up and he's not too busy out social dancing... I should just keep my mouth shut until I've calmed down and all that and thought things over. ahsdkjasldjhasl.

@8000miles - hahaha I took up your suggestion on that! And if 13000km wants cookies I will be more than happy to make them for her.

[Silencedsongs]

I'm glad to hear he tried to contact you.

And glad to hear you're getting things in order with classes at least! That's truly an annoyance!

[Heather]

My SO and I are no longer LD. But it seems every time we drink especially if we get drunk, we argue over stupid things and end up regretting it later.

Before I knew for sure that I was coming here to be with him, I had planned on going bar-hopping in my local town and get a free drink in each bar, enough to get me pretty drunk that night. He expressed his feelings that he wouldn't like me to go out and do that without him because other people might find me attractive and try to pull some moves on me and drinking, he'd be afraid that things would happen. I reassured him that nothing would ever happen but at the same time said, "but if it really makes you that uncomfortable, I won't go.. I hope I can be with you for my birthday anyway" (and I was )

Also around that same time, shortly before I came here, I went out with a neighbor and drank 4-5 pitchers of beer. We lived 4 blocks from the bar, so I ended up driving home, getting into a fight with my mom etc etc. So personally, I know what alcohol can do to someone. Alcohol has some powerful downfalls. It can be your worst enemy.

But yeah, drinking on St Patricks Day in the US is pretty common and even though you don't celebrate St Pattys day where you are and you don't agree with him drinking, try to understand it from his point of view. I wish you the best and hope you guys can work things out. Best of luck <3

[Rugger]

I drank in college. I drank A LOT. My friends and I would be getting drunk at least two nights a week. maybe three. My boyfriend was the same way with his friends.

No so much anymore. I rarely if ever drink to get drunk. I'll have a beer with dinner or a glass of wine, but I can literally name the times I've been drunk in the past 6 months on one hand. I'm trying to give it up all together because being drunk makes you do stupid shit. But I'm not going to tell my SO not to drink just because I don't enjoy it anymore.

You can't change him. He's only going to change if he wants to. If it's just once in awhile, I wouldn't worry too much. You do need to talk to him about your feelings though. It may not change how he feels about alcohol, but at least your stance is known

[sheraccoon]

Hi guys, an update on the situation: the SO and I are back on awesome terms again! ^_^ It seems we never really seem to hold grudges against each other for long. He understands how I feel about the drinking part, which is great, and I've told him that it's fine with me, but I'd like to be kept in the loop sometimes. Also, we'll probably be talking about it more when I head back to the USA next weekish, since it looks like we're closing the distance (temporarily but still~ <3). We work a lot better talking face to face (that's how we started dating hehe), so we'll have to sort out our differences over some time, but we love each other enough to want to do that. Wish us luck!

Thanks for all the support!

[13000km]

Hi guys, an update on the situation: the SO and I are back on awesome terms again! ^_^ It seems we never really seem to hold grudges against each other for long. He understands how I feel about the drinking part, which is great, and I've told him that it's fine with me, but I'd like to be kept in the loop sometimes. Also, we'll probably be talking about it more when I head back to the USA next weekish, since it looks like we're closing the distance (temporarily but still~ <3). We work a lot better talking face to face (that's how we started dating hehe), so we'll have to sort out our differences over some time, but we love each other enough to want to do that. Wish us luck!

Thanks for all the support!

I'm glad out of all that, it turns out you'll be back with him sooner. Time to change the ticker! (: I wish you guys luck and am still praying the rest of the stuff with school works out. (: