I asked for your prayers before I went to see my SO. I am still here with him. things were ok and I was happy that they were getting better, but...yesterday I counted condoms in his box. There was one missing.
You probably gonna say "Why would you even do that?" and I will answer that our relationship has been a roller coaster and there were and still are many red flags, so I counted because I did not feel secure and because I have noticed that the box was open when I arrived (and last time I was here we used them all, so I know he needed to get new box).
I asked him about it and of course it was a very awkward situation. He said he used the condom with a toy that he uses (he showed me the toy). I did not know he had a toy tho we have been together 10 months. He said he used it with a toy to see if a condom would make a difference and to see how quickly he would cum with the condom.
He got mad that I counted. He tried to turn things away on me, and pull out something that was irrelevant, and talk about me, that I lie to him and why is it that I never want to talk about what bothers him, but talk about what bothers me (duh! Because I am not the one having missing condoms etc.)
Like I said we have many red flags in our relationship. I, however, still do not know what to do. I regret that I have told him. I should have kept my mouth shut and continue to see if there is anything else that would be suspicious, but I did tell him. I do not know what to do now. I slept on a couch tonight (partially because I needed to stay up late but also because I still do not know what to do). He says he doesn't have anyone else, but hey, what does all this mean then?
What would you do in my situation? Was I right to bring it up? And what should I do now? The only reason why I am still with him despite many red flags, is because somehow I am afraid that I may be wrong and I may think too much into things. I have been cheated on before and I sure do not want to be that girl again and go through such pain. But I am afraid that if I am wrong and he really did nothing bad and he really does love me, then I push away someone who really cares about me.
P.S. We had a very hard few days before I came to visit and he was acting like a total ass hole to me. The day of my visit I did not want to come, but it was his Bday and I have been planning on it for a while, and he called and apologized and said that he wanted me here etc. etc.
You probably gonna say "Why would you even do that?" and I will answer that our relationship has been a roller coaster and there were and still are many red flags, so I counted because I did not feel secure and because I have noticed that the box was open when I arrived (and last time I was here we used them all, so I know he needed to get new box).
I asked him about it and of course it was a very awkward situation. He said he used the condom with a toy that he uses (he showed me the toy). I did not know he had a toy tho we have been together 10 months. He said he used it with a toy to see if a condom would make a difference and to see how quickly he would cum with the condom.
He got mad that I counted. He tried to turn things away on me, and pull out something that was irrelevant, and talk about me, that I lie to him and why is it that I never want to talk about what bothers him, but talk about what bothers me (duh! Because I am not the one having missing condoms etc.)
Like I said we have many red flags in our relationship. I, however, still do not know what to do. I regret that I have told him. I should have kept my mouth shut and continue to see if there is anything else that would be suspicious, but I did tell him. I do not know what to do now. I slept on a couch tonight (partially because I needed to stay up late but also because I still do not know what to do). He says he doesn't have anyone else, but hey, what does all this mean then?
What would you do in my situation? Was I right to bring it up? And what should I do now? The only reason why I am still with him despite many red flags, is because somehow I am afraid that I may be wrong and I may think too much into things. I have been cheated on before and I sure do not want to be that girl again and go through such pain. But I am afraid that if I am wrong and he really did nothing bad and he really does love me, then I push away someone who really cares about me.
P.S. We had a very hard few days before I came to visit and he was acting like a total ass hole to me. The day of my visit I did not want to come, but it was his Bday and I have been planning on it for a while, and he called and apologized and said that he wanted me here etc. etc.
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