Cheating...

[karbauer]

My boyfriend of 9 months lives 880 miles away from me. How am I supposed to know if he's cheating on me or not? I trust and love him with all my heart, but there's always that doubt in the back of my mind, you know?

He swears he would NEVER do that to me, but would any person just come out and say "Yeah, I'd cheat on you."?

He works at a restaurant called Red Robins. He gave me the login for his work schedule so I could see when he has to work. I got on there a few days ago and there was an e-mail from some girl named Terri telling him she had a good time last night. I asked him about it and he said the e-mails go to everyone, kind of like a bulletin on myspace. Everyone can see something posted. He also goes places and when I casually ask who's going he says "nobody" or "just a friend." He never gives me names.

Idk what to do

[Bluestars]

Being in a long distance relationship does not mean that the person will cheat on you. Unless you have a valid reason to suspect that your partner is cheating, you need to trust him. Maybe you are paranoid because you are insecure about yourself or your relationship? If so, maybe you can work on that?

Even if your boyfriend gave you his password so that you can see his schedule, that does not mean that you should read his emails. Regardless, the message seems harmless and you are probably overreacting. His responses about going it with friends also seems normal. If you are not friends with his friends, it would make sense that he might not say their names if you will not know who they are.

If you are always paranoid about your boyfriend cheating, it could definitely damage your relationship. Whenever you have a thought like this, I suggest that you push it out of your mind and tell yourself that it is uncalled for. Try to make yourself trust your boyfriend more. It will take a change in thought and attitude, but it is possible. Good Luck!

[Tanja]

Stop worrying. Being paranoid and constantly fearing the worst is only going to make things fall apart. You are not there to keep an eye on him so you have no choice but to trust him. Whatever you do, don't start accusing him of anything if he hasn't done anything to indicate he is cheating.

Merely hanging out with female friends isn't enough grounds to start suspecting him, so don't. Be happy that out of all the women out there he's chosen you and if he didn't want you he wouldn't be with you. Also, think of yourself in his shoes, would you ever do anything to hurt him? You have to believe he thinks the same way you do.

Everyone get's a little jealous in a LDR but don't let it get to become the center of your thoughts. A little jealousy is ok cause it will only show him you care. As for your question, there's no way of knowing for sure but thinking about it is only going to drive you crazy and hurt your relationship. As long as things are fine with the 2 of you don't worry about a thing and enjoy the ride.

[Trailrunning]

I agree with what has been said above. But I also think that LDR's take an extra amount of communication and some extra sensitivity on both people's part. I think if you are asking your boyfriend what he did or where he went because it's just part of asking him how his day was, it would be not asking so much for him to tell you who he was with, where he went, what he did. Not because he has to. Not because you're checking up on him. But because he loves you and wants to share his life with you. And how else can you share your life with someone in an LDR other than talking and sharing and being open about your life. And that includes telling the other person who your friends are, who you're spending time with and what you're doing. I am not suggesting that you have to share every minute detail of your life, but who you went out with would be a normal thing to talk about. If my boyfriend wouldn't share that with me, I would wonder too. But having said that, (and I don't know how long you've been together), I also agree that you also have to have some trust that your relationship is stronger than that.

[folclor]

Trust me, I used to be as paranoid as you are and it's not worth it. Just trust him. *shrugs* unless you have a good reason not to, it's all you can do, right? So trust him and if he said he's out with friends or whatnot, believe him. Maybe ask to be introduced sometime over video or something. I've met quite a few of Alex's friends over video chat while he was hanging out and they all know when I'm coming. Now at least one of them is excited about meeting me when I come for my visit.

Also, I don't really see any red flags so I think you're good to go. ^^

[ErinKristine]

If you just suspect him of cheating with no grounds for those suspicions then it's going to put strain on your relationship. If he gave you his work info to see his schedule then I really don't think he has anything to hide, although you shouldn't read his messages. My SO and I know each other's passwords for emails and facebook, instant messenger, etc but that doesn't mean I login to see if other women are sending him messages. If he hasn't given any reason not to trust him then you need to just try as best you can to trust him. It can be hard if you've been betrayed in a relationship before, but you just have to believe that each person is different.

[Zephii]

It's hard not to worry, but he's just as likely to cheat in a CDR as long distance, if he's the cheating type, he'll do it regardless.
Just ask him for names if you want them. It's hard to follow the thread of his life if he doesn't after all.

[Mio]

Being paranoid about this will only harm your relationship, it's hard not to have fears but you can do it girl!

[OneForTheRomance]

I'm usually a good judge of character, I wish I knew him so I could tell you exactly what is going on! But here is what you really need to ask yourself; are you so worried about him cheating that you aren't able to enjoy the relationship anymore? Because at this stage, that's all relationships are for, to enjoy being with one another. If you can trust him enough, it is just as bad as him really cheating on you. If you were to find out later, that he was cheating that's his loss not yours. If you nag only for him to have been honest and driven crazy by you... well that is something you can control. You are loyal and that is all you really can do. Love comes with trust and vice versa. You can't have one without the other.