Angelmichu's Weight Loss Thread - a query

[lucybelle]

I haven't read the 3 pages of replies here, but my SO and I actually met when I was a lot heavier (30lbs). He always told me I was sexy then and sexy now, but that he doesn't want me to gain that weight back! haha In fact we were looking through pictures last night and he said "baby, you were really big!" haha yes I was...

Also when my SO moved in with me he had gained a lot of weight from the last time I saw him. I gently encouraged him to exercise every day, eat less, and eat better. He's lost about 20lbs since he got here and looks GREAT!

[hillke]

The issue is that this girl came to LFAD for advice about something and we made a thread about her and discussed her personal opinions and how wrong they are. Every time someobdy says that "my problem with it is that they're getting married" or "my problem with it is that he was bigger when she met him" its a critique of her and her opinions and her relationship. That is NOT what LFAD should be about.

[Deleted Account]

john and i met online through a video game. For the first 2 months i didnt know how he looked like.

The thing about meeting some1 online is that you first fall in love with his/her's personality. Later you exchange pics and then u realize if you'd be attracted physically. Now he's a really handsome guy, but im not happy that he is overweight and its not like im trying to change him or anything, because the person that he is is whom i love. His personality and all that makes him who he is is what i fell in love with, not his looks. And its not that it is something i cannot live with.. because truth is, i cannot live without him.

Its not like now that we're getting married is that im preassuring him to lose weight. i've been doing that since the very beginning. (just thought i'd clear that up since i realize a lot of ppl are saying that). I've been preassured too to lose weight and im 127lbs. His family also puts preassure on him, and the whole argument started because they told him he should start losing weight for the wedding just a few days ago. he proposed to me on august last year, and one time soon after i told him, that i wanted him to lose some weight for the wedding. Now he hasnt done that, thats ok.. im not mad at him for not doing it, but i do wish he would lose some weight in the future. Whether he wants to do it for the wedding or not i dont care. I'm always going to love him no matter what.

Honestly, i try to evade the subject as much as i can, because i know it gets him depressed. But that doesnt mean i dont want him to lose weight. The other day he told me he's going to stop drinking soda because he realize how bad soda is for his health, and i got all happy and proud of him. But honestly i never minded the fact that he drank soda except that i felt that just adds to the fact of his size.


Also, i dont want him to be skinny or starve himself or anything, i want him to be healthy and comfortable with the way that he looks.

My sister used to be obese, and she had that surgery done, and now she's really skinny and pretty etc... and she feels so much happier about herself, she feel more comfortable about her body.. and genuinely she's a much happier person. She stopped wearing those big jackets that covered her body, she likes going to the beach now and take a sun tan.. etc...Things like that are all i want for my angel.

[Insanity]

I don't believe the OP intended this thread to be about that, but just to discuss whether we would still be attracted to our SO's if the gained weight.
To bring it back on topic, to be honest I would, I love my guy and think he's sexy no matter what. He has always been a skinny guy his whole life but over the last year he has gained a bit of weight and it doesn't bother me at all, in the past maybe it would have but I still find his body to be sexy, I still find parts of his body which I think are damn fine.
Though I can't judge, I'm overweight and gained weight recently.

[Tanja]

Well this subject has gotten some attention! It's a bit mental

I've been slightly overweight in the past and I'm still not a stick today but I'm quite comfortable with my weight right now even though I'm quite round and got some love on my waist. Yeah I wouldn't mind if I lost a few kilos toward the summer but I won't be stressed out if I don't, I don't really mind it that much. Andy likes it that he's got a lot to squeeze

Andy's always been really thin so I would be more than happy if he would gain weight! He does try and I make him eat fattier food than what I eat (for example salami on his sandwich when I'm having ham etc) but I think it's just the way he is built and he'll never be chubby. I'm so used to his weight by now that it doesn't bother me, some people (like my mum) always keep saying when they see him "oh dear how skinny you are!" though which annoys him a little

[garnet]

The issue is that this girl came to LFAD for advice about something and we made a thread about her and discussed her personal opinions and how wrong they are. Every time someobdy says that "my problem with it is that they're getting married" or "my problem with it is that he was bigger when she met him" its a critique of her and her opinions and her relationship. That is NOT what LFAD should be about.

Actually, you post on a public forum, you should expect to get whatever answers you get. LFAD might be one of the nicer places to come, but it still isn't a magical land of sunshine and bunnies. The OP of the other thread seems to have taken what was said and really considered it, which I think is great. If our answers had ever upset her, she had the option to lock her thread. I haven't seen her say anything about being uncomfortable with our posts. Maybe you should let her be the one to decide how she feels about her thread, and the spin off thread.

[BabyGund]

This is why it's called a threadjack....it's on something similar, but not quite...and I didn't want this thought to overwhelm what she was expressing on her own thread. As you can see, this had enough thought to merit its own thread!

Weight can be a sensitive issue, like politics and religion. And in a relationship, it gets even more tricky. I threw this out here really just to challenge your own thinking. I heart The Boy, but if he showed up to our next meet with an extra 50 lbs, I'd be a little

yeah. And probably because he is such a health and fitness nut (even though we both love beer and garlic fries) it would just be totally out of character for him. I don't know if I would love him any less, but I certainly wouldn't be happy with it.

It's funny, I found some old pictures of him on the interwebs when he had short hair and wore contacts and was clean shaven and I was like He looks handsome enough, but....not like my Boy!

And if that makes me a shallow as a puddle, then so be it. *shrug*

[LadyMarchHare]

Actually, you post on a public forum, you should expect to get whatever answers you get. LFAD might be one of the nicer places to come, but it still isn't a magical land of sunshine and bunnies. The OP of the other thread seems to have taken what was said and really considered it, which I think is great. If our answers had ever upset her, she had the option to lock her thread. I haven't seen her say anything about being uncomfortable with our posts. Maybe you should let her be the one to decide how she feels about her thread, and the spin off thread.

Agreed. If you go to one person with your problem, you get one opinion. You go to a forum with 1500+ active members, you're going to get a lot of different opinions. And depending on who the opinion comes from or what the problem is, some of what's said is not going to be the nicest answer in the world. Yeah a lot of people are taking this stuff personally, scuffing shoes, and babbling someone's ear off but no one's meaning to offend Angelmichu or even BabyGund. If that were the case this thread and the other would've been locked a long time ago.

LFAD, just because it's a forum of support and general kindness, does not mean it's exempt from the members being human and becoming angry, upset, acting stupid, and so on. If you want a prime example of what LFAD shouldn't be I can direct you to a now-locked thread in the depths of this section of the forum and let you shake your head on your own time.

BabyGund: I think you have the idea of what could be considered shallow misconstrued. Just because you find pictures of him before you two met and think 'well this isn't the same person I love' doesn't make you shallow. It means you know them as they are, one way. For you to see documentation that they were any other way, whether shorter or wider or with a different haircut, it's natural to have a varied reaction that isn't exactly 'aww look at him!' Same with now, if they drastically changed from what you've known overnight to something else, you'd be a little shell-shocked, but unless he throws out his entire wardrobe one night and comes back the next day with a new style entirely, all change is gradual. Next year we will not be who we are today. We are not who we were last year. Change is the only constant in life.

[His_Critter]

I prefer heavier partners. SO has gained 10-15 pounds since we've been together and he's still too skinny for my taste.

my body after losing 130 plus pounds has tons of saggy skin that repulses him.

we never got together based on looks... ours was a brain connection... the love and lust came later. the bodies don't matter.