I feel sick to my stomach....

[OliveOyl]

SO there is this girl that has been trying to ruin our relationship since we started dating last summer. She keeps posting old pictures of them together on facebook. She has done this about 10 times or so during our relationship...Each time I end up super stressed out and in tears. well, she did it again on Friday (I didnt see it til Saturday). Her sister posted the picture since the girl and my SO are no longer FB friends. And she tagged the both of them in the picture. I of course got angry and texted him, he called me back right away, asking me what happened... and he honestly hasn't been on facebook in over a month so he had no idea apparently.

Anyhoo, he told me the girl is just crazy and her best friend (his cousin) is just jealous/possessive of him, so she keeps encouraging her to make my life hell. So anyhoo, on Monday, I decided to read the comments on the photo, and his cousin (the girls bff) wrote "cuando sea grande... yotmbien quiero tener un novio asi orita nooo toi chika...jajajajaja." And another friend said "what a beautiful couple" etc. etc. SO I lost it again. And kidn of told him in a really long text message:

If it is too difficult to tell them to stop being so mean to me, or if it is too hard to eliminate the girl from his life, maybe it is easier if he loses me. I've ignored them for months and months, but each and everytime i find it so stressful, and so hurtful. and I honestly do not have time to be stressed out and hurt. It is all too much emotional distractions. And I feel like he is doing a poor job of kind of protecting me in a way, or at least standing up for me. I told him our relationship will never progress if these girls keep causing problems. I told him I was thinking of not going to Oaxaca, because his friends make me feel stupid for dating him.

I really don't know what to do. I've been a mess ever since Saturday. I don't know what to do, if I should trust him. This girl is actually having me doubt the trust I have for him, which just angers me. I also think she was the one behind this mysterious note someone emailed him (claiming to be one of my close friends) that said he should stay away from me, that I hate mexicans, that I call him a stupid mexican, that I have a boyfriend in LA, that I dont really love him and all of this garbage. He actually almost broke up with me over it, he ignored me all weekend because he was so heartbroken over it. And I think considering the damage this girl has caused, I am pretty thoroughly convinced she was responsible for the email thing in the past. I am really lost on what to do, should I cancel my trip? SHould I trust him? I've never experience this type of just flat out hatred to me before, its so hurtful.

And he hasnt responded to any of my texts/inquiries about him...so :-\ I think this needs to be a post.

[Jonesonaboat]

You really shouldn't let other people influence your relationship.
You are a couple and you should always stand by each other. You and your man need to talk it out and you need to really get it through to him that what they are doing to you is hurting you. But also, you should really try your best not to take any notice of them at all.

Like I've already said, you really shouldn't let other people effect your relationship like that. If you're both in love, then you shouldn't let other people try and tell you otherwise.

[Moon]

Why are you letting this petty stuff ruin your relationship? You're doing EXACTLY what this girl is hoping for! Your boyfriend really can't control some girl posting FB pics, and as for standing up for you, he's doing the right thing by ignoring her. Why should he get all involved in the drama, which will let her know just how bad she's managed to affect you? Once she knows, its going to get much worse, because she'll know its working, I really think you need to step back and try to look at this from an outsiders perspective, it seems like you're way, way overreacting. So what if some jealous skank posts pics, its not like your boyfriend is posting them, FB causes nothing but problems in relationships, as it obviously is for yours.

I'm not sure I understand WHY you're this upset, but I'm telling you, its so not worth it. You (and he) can only control yourself(s), not people on the internet, and you can't really do anything about it, so just ignore her until she goes away. Of course you shouldn't cancel your trip, and why would something he had nothing to do with cause you to lose your trust in him?

You and he need to come to an agreement over this as soon as possible, maybe something along the lines of you'll agree to ignore her, if he agrees to never believe anything about you that she's said. Good luck.

[BabyGund]

Moon always beats me to it! She's dead on with her response.

[Moon]

BabyGund, love the new avatar. Very cute!

[nicole]

I have dealt with my SO's crazy ex-girlfriends, and I succeeded. You know how? I did absolutely NOTHING! They were running round, screaming, throwing tantrums, trying to break us up, being generally crazy, and I just sat back and watched it all. Sure, I didn't like it, I would have actually liked nothing better then to give them a good slap, but by reacting, I would have been just like them. I'm sure your SO, like mine, will come to the conclusion that they are crazy and not worth the drama. I never understand that tactic of trying to break a couple up so you can date one of them- why would anyone date someone who acts like that?

He can't control what she or what other people do, so there is no use getting upset with him; he hasn't actually done anything. I know it's hard to ignore her and be the better person when she's obviously trying to toy with you, but I think that is the best solution. Has he blocked the girl completely, not just deleted her? If he's done all he can to stop contact, he's obviously done as much as he can. Maybe tell him to talk to his cousin, try to get them to back off- if he's happy with you, that's all the reason he needs to stay with you, and all the reason his cousin should need too.

[Trethsparr]

Don't let her get you down; that's just what she wants. Talk to your SO about the situation and come to an agreement on a united front for dealing with the situation. I know it hurts that she's doing this, but they're the desperate actions of a desperate girl. If she sees she's not making a dent, she'll eventually have no choice but to move on.

[Silencedsongs]

Take a deep breath, and try to step 'out side of the box'.

You need to calm yourself, and realize that by reacting and canceling your trip - will be doing exactly what this girl wants. They are vindictive, spiteful, and deserve a whack in the head with a frying pan. (Sorry, I've been watching Tangled...) Ask yourself, if not for these girls, would you and your boyfriend have any other issues? If you main issue is regarding these girls, then let it go. Unless they say something to you directly, I wouldn't pay it much heed, as it's not worth the stress or worrying over. But, I also do not think your man should sit back and be too passive, but I don't think he should go starting fights... If they tag him in a picture with his ex, when he gets on - just un-tag it. If they say something negative about you in front of him, then he should address it and tell them to stop.

But aside from that, you both need to sit down and talk, and agree to only believe what you hear from each other.

[snow_girl]

Yep I agree with everyone else. The just managed to say it a lot better then I could. Just ignore her and she'll go away. Its like if a little kid that falls. If you don't make a big deal about it they most likely won't cry and move on, but its you go 'oooooohhhh!! Oh god oh god are you okay!?!!!?" They are going to feed off of it and cry and then do it again for attention.
She is a little kid, don't give her more too feed off of.

[BabyGund]

BabyGund, love the new avatar. Very cute!

Thanks, I thought it was very apropos as Easter Bunny season is a-coming! Those are actual cards you can order and I'm pretty sure they have all 50 states. I ordered a pack of 8 that say "Somebunny in Florida Loves Me" - I'll have my daughter send 7 to her cousins and one will be on its way to The Boy!

I saw them available at cafepress.com and zazzle.com.au.

*NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED TOPIC*

[MissShortie]

I'm just going to repeat what's been said... she's getting what she wants.
I really don't see why you are mad at your SO when he hasn't done anything to encourage it or anything like that, it's not like he told the girl to that, and don't be upset about him not going to her, I look at it like this... I wouldn't want my SO talking to a girl that's trying to break us up
I also don't think you should be going and doing that stuff to yourself though... going and looking at the comments is just wanting to look for trouble in my opinion.

Don't cancel your trip I think if I were in your shoes I would want to talk things out face to face with my SO. And I don't see any reason not to trust him

[LadyMarchHare]

Ever heard the saying "don't feed the troll"? This is a prime example. For people who have the gall to try and disrupt lives for either their own entertainment or agenda, you reacting in general is basically the icing on her cake. She wants you upset, she wants you to demand your guy to stop this, and she ultimately wants you two to fight and split up. Yeah I know it's hard not to get mad, but if you can block her and whoever else is instigating this myriad of bullcrap then do it and it's out of sight, out of mind.

When my SO's best friend up and quit talking to the both of us after a really bad incident (she was also one of his ex's and she still had feelings for him, so she blew up on the both of us one night out of jealousy) she went everywhere she knew he'd see it and moaned about how she was miserable and made comments that he was just as miserable without her and was regretting being with me over her and so on. Granted I never saw any of this because she had me blocked four ways to Sunday after I threatened to rip her larynx out for making him cut himself, but he relayed all this to me and was talking about whether he would respond to any of it. He then told me he'd let her think what she wanted, he had someone that made him happy. Point is, you have to look to what you have in these times and realize YOU have the upper hand because someone's resorting to dirty pool to get what you have. So joke's on them, really.

[Caitlin2009]

Why are you letting this petty stuff ruin your relationship? You're doing EXACTLY what this girl is hoping for! Your boyfriend really can't control some girl posting FB pics, and as for standing up for you, he's doing the right thing by ignoring her. Why should he get all involved in the drama, which will let her know just how bad she's managed to affect you? Once she knows, its going to get much worse, because she'll know its working, I really think you need to step back and try to look at this from an outsiders perspective, it seems like you're way, way overreacting. So what if some jealous skank posts pics, its not like your boyfriend is posting them, FB causes nothing but problems in relationships, as it obviously is for yours.

I'm not sure I understand WHY you're this upset, but I'm telling you, its so not worth it. You (and he) can only control yourself(s), not people on the internet, and you can't really do anything about it, so just ignore her until she goes away. Of course you shouldn't cancel your trip, and why would something he had nothing to do with cause you to lose your trust in him?

You and he need to come to an agreement over this as soon as possible, maybe something along the lines of you'll agree to ignore her, if he agrees to never believe anything about you that she's said. Good luck.

I have dealt with my SO's crazy ex-girlfriends, and I succeeded. You know how? I did absolutely NOTHING! They were running round, screaming, throwing tantrums, trying to break us up, being generally crazy, and I just sat back and watched it all. Sure, I didn't like it, I would have actually liked nothing better then to give them a good slap, but by reacting, I would have been just like them. I'm sure your SO, like mine, will come to the conclusion that they are crazy and not worth the drama. I never understand that tactic of trying to break a couple up so you can date one of them- why would anyone date someone who acts like that?

He can't control what she or what other people do, so there is no use getting upset with him; he hasn't actually done anything. I know it's hard to ignore her and be the better person when she's obviously trying to toy with you, but I think that is the best solution. Has he blocked the girl completely, not just deleted her? If he's done all he can to stop contact, he's obviously done as much as he can. Maybe tell him to talk to his cousin, try to get them to back off- if he's happy with you, that's all the reason he needs to stay with you, and all the reason his cousin should need too.

what they said!! just ignore her, if she has a problem with you two being together then thats her issue why let it ruin your relationship? Block her, ignore her, dont listen to her, ect if she wants to be childish then let her. and defiantly dont cancel your trip to see him you two need a visit

[Joyce:)]

Sweetie, you said " the girls in his life" but, hey THEY ARE NOT THE GIRLS IN HIS LIFE, YOU ARE.
YOU are the girl he loves, YOU are the girl he chose, YOU are his SO, YOU and not that bitchy ex.
You relationship is the thing that that girl and her silly stupid jealous insicure friends envy, and if they envy it it means that they have actually realized how important YOU are for him, and therefore how insignificant they are to him.
Stay strong, you're the stars and sky and moon for your boy, don't you ever forget it.

[OliveOyl]

i dunno, he hasn't talked to me since Saturday... he wont return my text messages, he didnt delete the picture of the two of them, nor any of the other ones she posted. It's like the first 5 times she's done this, I did ignore it and just didnt dwell on it very much at all... but then it just kept on happening...and it made me a little insecure...and then it kept happening...and so now im even more insecure. she's basically been doing this for like 5 months now...and i've tried ignoring it initially, but its actually just getting worse, doesn't go away. now i am just afraid i've completely driven him away or something. Not sure why he wont call or text me back.