Going to Visit my SO, but he went to "friend" mode...

[uniquefem]

There's something about a nervousness that makes people act weird. When I was preparing to fly 20 hours to meet my boyfriend, I pulled back, but not in the just friends way. I got really on edge and would pick fights with him, subconsciously pushing him away. He remained very supportive throughout that week, and I had friends accompany me the night of my flight. The nervousness kind of faded as I was preoccupied with getting myself on the right planes and such, and as soon as I saw the man standing in the arrival hall waiting for me, all of it disappeared.

I'm not promising you that everything's going to magically better. This period of time may be a little bit too pressurizing on both parties, and imo it's perfectly okay to keep a slight distance if it is required. If things are still a little awkward when you get there, use that to slowly get used to being around and showing affection towards each other again. I hope you have a very enjoyable trip!(:

Oh my! i hope he wont go to that "edge". I wish he won give me a handshake when we first met! somehow i know i will got a hug! (ohh wish it so much after the long flights!). I will not push him, thats for sure. I will try to do the "traveling companion" as we first met. Start it all over again.. and maybe this will made him more comfort.

I like him too much to let him go away. This is the chance for me to know if i am wasting time with him, or if he worth for something. My dad told me, love just like sands in your hand, if you squeeze it hard you will have nothing left in your hand. let it loose and you will see what left for you. I will try this. If he come back as the person i know before, the person who made me head over heels like 6 months ago... hummm...

Anyway.. i will try to have good time in Europe.. with or without him! (there for i wont expect too much! and wont get disappointed!)

[princessmeg1328]

Thank you for that.. i feel relief somehow.. i don't know if this is happens to others too.. feel so strange and hurt when someone you love call you "friend". I will give him sometimes.. and yes.. you right .. i am planning those.. i am thinking i will spent sometimes with him, knowing him more... but if its not going as we plan before, i will try to enjoy the journey as much as possible.

I used to be a positive person, i just try to be on this one. I made back up plan.. seriously.. my main plan is to have fun with him, snuggle on couch all day doesn't matters... just be with him.. but if its not possible.. i am thinking exploring europe by my self...

but gosh.. even so hard to think about that.. but well.. we will see.. i hope it will be just like your visit! and it end well! wish me good luck with this ok?

..thanks!

I'm glad I could help. Of course, I wish you the best of luck! I think it's definitely a good idea to get to know him better. I'm glad you have a back up plan. I think it's always important to have a back up plan. It is really hard to think about it not working out, but like you said, you have to be positive. You just have to hope for the best.

Where in Europe are you going and when? I'll be in England visiting my SO this summer.

[uniquefem]

I'm glad I could help. Of course, I wish you the best of luck! I think it's definitely a good idea to get to know him better. I'm glad you have a back up plan. I think it's always important to have a back up plan. It is really hard to think about it not working out, but like you said, you have to be positive. You just have to hope for the best.

Where in Europe are you going and when? I'll be in England visiting my SO this summer.

Thanks again for the wishes first before he went to this friend mode i want to get flight straight from Jakarta to Frankfurt but then things happens.. so change to Jakarta-Paris.. i will do couch surfing for 2 nights explore Paris by my self. And then on the 4th day i will use train to Karlsruhe, he will pick me up at train station.
I don't plan anything for weekend, but then on Monday i will visit his workplace-he is ok with this. And then... he is very busy guy i don't know if he could accompany me anywhere.. so i made the plan to see Baden Baden/the city tour by my self too. Unless if he "change" and had a plan... he is good at surprise! so i don't know..
But i already made list of places that i want to see.. mainly in Germany...

Awww thats sweet! i hope you had great time with your SO! i wish i could meet any of you in Germany! that would be cool!

[13000km]

Oh my! i hope he wont go to that "edge". I wish he won give me a handshake when we first met! somehow i know i will got a hug! (ohh wish it so much after the long flights!). I will not push him, thats for sure. I will try to do the "traveling companion" as we first met. Start it all over again.. and maybe this will made him more comfort.

I like him too much to let him go away. This is the chance for me to know if i am wasting time with him, or if he worth for something. My dad told me, love just like sands in your hand, if you squeeze it hard you will have nothing left in your hand. let it loose and you will see what left for you. I will try this. If he come back as the person i know before, the person who made me head over heels like 6 months ago... hummm...

Anyway.. i will try to have good time in Europe.. with or without him! (there for i wont expect too much! and wont get disappointed!)

Maybe you can even initiate the hug! Friends hug too.
It's good that you have plans to explore on your own. I went there (against my friends' advice) without any plans to do things on my own. Things turned out fine, I ended up spending time with his mum when he was at work and was VERY jet lagged so slept through most of his work hours. Ended up being alone in the apartment on my own on the last two days because as hard as he tried he couldn't get the time off work. But I spent that time packing and watching american tv, so it didn't feel too terrible.
You sound like a seasoned traveller, I'm confident you will have fun, even if it's without him. (:
I do hope things work out for you guys! -hugs

[w.joseph]

I always think that I should go for it if I'll regret not doing that thing.
In any case, I think you made the right decision. In the end you will be doing your part and you will say "at least I tried". Also, this will be a nice trip and experience if nothing else : )
I really liked your father's quote "love just like sands in your hand, if you squeeze it hard you will have nothing left in your hand. let it loose and you will see what left for you."

About the meeting at the airport; if I were you, I would give him the warmest hug in the world. No need to wait for the first move. Just a nice and warm hug

[uniquefem]

I always think that I should go for it if I'll regret not doing that thing.
In any case, I think you made the right decision. In the end you will be doing your part and you will say "at least I tried". Also, this will be a nice trip and experience if nothing else : )
I really liked your father's quote "love just like sands in your hand, if you squeeze it hard you will have nothing left in your hand. let it loose and you will see what left for you."

About the meeting at the airport; if I were you, I would give him the warmest hug in the world. No need to wait for the first move. Just a nice and warm hug

Yes.. and i really don't like regrets because it will haunt me with the "if only.." sentences!! i won't know until he say it and i look it right in to his eyes to know if he meant it that i am just a friend for him.

I found this picture that quite match the quote:


Yeah, he just don't want me trying too hard or push someone else to feel the same way like i do. Sometimes we--girls trying too hard to made someone love us, when they don't feel it at all! and we neither can't see it or just can not accept it! hehe so yeah... let it loose a bit.. if he love me he will stay if he's not.. well.. Eifel tower and Germany Castles are waiting for me hehehe...

I will give him a hug, i am very sure haha! to even think about that made my heart beat faster now!! ohhh gosh... just less than 5 weeks to be in his arm again!!