Rant rant rant rant rant. (Advice welcomed!)

[juliaentwined]

I have pretty much told Parker that unless he sits down and talks to his mother about this, then I'm leaving. It may be harsh, but I honestly don't feel I have another choice. I don't think it's ME that his mother dislikes, to be honest. I think it's the situation.

I guess I need a second opinion on this, but would it be too risky to send her an email, asking POLITELY to reconsider her stance on me coming to graduation?

[LadyMarchHare]

I think if you were going to confront her about all this in any manner, the phone would be your best bet. Text has so much room for misunderstanding because there's no tone inflection and depending on the mood of the person an innocent sentence can be taken as a finger pointed at them saying "you're a horrible person." Plus with an email she has the room to delete it without reading it. On the phone she can't avoid you unless she hangs up on you.

[juliaentwined]

I think if you were going to confront her about all this in any manner, the phone would be your best bet. Text has so much room for misunderstanding because there's no tone inflection and depending on the mood of the person an innocent sentence can be taken as a finger pointed at them saying "you're a horrible person." Plus with an email she has the room to delete it without reading it. On the phone she can't avoid you unless she hangs up on you.

I just hate confrontation, to begin with so I wouldn't know what to say on the phone. And I tend to get angry while actually talking to someone, and I wouldn't want that. But I understand the whole tone of text and deleting the email.

[LadyMarchHare]

I just hate confrontation, to begin with so I wouldn't know what to say on the phone. And I tend to get angry while actually talking to someone, and I wouldn't want that. But I understand the whole tone of text and deleting the email.

You could try writing out what you want to say beforehand either on paper or a word file and either read from it or use it as a prompt for whenever she interjects or tries butting in and saying something. Write stuff in anticipation of a few retorts she may make and if she gets riled just tell her, "please, ma'am, I am not finished saying my piece and I would appreciate you giving me the respect necessary to say what I feel needs saying." I have anger problems and problems talking on the phone in general, but I'd still opt for that over text especially with something I am so passionate about. I'd rather let the woman hear how upset I am than just assume I'm feigning it all behind a wall of black and white on a screen.

[juliaentwined]

You could try writing out what you want to say beforehand either on paper or a word file and either read from it or use it as a prompt for whenever she interjects or tries butting in and saying something. Write stuff in anticipation of a few retorts she may make and if she gets riled just tell her, "please, ma'am, I am not finished saying my piece and I would appreciate you giving me the respect necessary to say what I feel needs saying." I have anger problems and problems talking on the phone in general, but I'd still opt for that over text especially with something I am so passionate about. I'd rather let the woman hear how upset I am than just assume I'm feigning it all behind a wall of black and white on a screen.

That's actually a wonderful idea. Now if only I had the guts to do it.

I think this issue is honestly getting cleared up slightly. He says he's going to talk to his mother. Things may not get better with her, but I think just knowing that he actually did try and did something about it will reassure me that he actually wants to grow up and be with me more. I know that if my parents said anything bad about him, I'd be upset and say something to them, and I feel as if I deserve the same.

[LadyMarchHare]

As long as he makes a conscious effort here and there to make matters not as bad as they are or could be (be glad his parents have not disconnected the internet or taken every form of communication he has with you, my mom liked doing that to me when I was a kid) then hopefully over time things will change or at least they won't be so hostile towards you or the relationship as a whole.

[juliaentwined]

I feel a lot better and more positive about all of this now, and I want to thank every one of you for weighing in and helping out. I'm sure this won't be the last you'll hear on this subject from me.

But really, it's so nice to have so many caring people help out.