The importance of face time.

[MusicalSoul22]

Being a massage therapist, I learned a lot about different chemicals the body releases when given a certain touch or seeing or hearing specific things, etc. One chemical we really learned about was Oxytocin. This is the "bonding chemical", the one that makes you feel close to someone. Hugging a baby, cuddling with your loved one, seeing a friend, all release this feel-good chemical. They say if you are trying to break up with someone, do not go to their house or talk to them on the phone after the break up, because the recognition of the person's face/voice will give you that feel-good chemical again and make it harder to stay away from them. I believe it takes two weeks for it to diminish enough to where you start to lose that bond.
On the other side of all this, that means that in an LDR relationship, things like Skype/FaceTime and talking on the phone, are all crucial in order to keep that oxytocin going in your bond. I know each couple will be a little different, but I know that there have been times where when Josh and I didn't talk or see each other for awhile, we became more irritable and argumentative, then when we saw each other it was like that spark came back. So when trying to communicate with your SO, just remember, seeing and hearing is better than reading a text (although I understand if you both are busy you might have to resort to that), and that oxytocin boost will lift your mood.

[Zephii]

Welcome to the forum!

While I understand the science behind this, and agree and all that, I think maybe my SO and I are broken! Haha. Because we loved each other for four years before I let him see me on webcam at all, or before I got a mic and could talk to him any way other than text. *lopsided smile*

Still it's great advice Hope to see you around the forum some more!

[LadyMarchHare]

I'm with Zephii, I don't get the luxury of skyping (the last time we did was last June) or visits (we've only had one and it was very short) or even many phonecalls yet I still get those "feel good" emotions and I am still very much in love with my boyfriend. I suppose it depends on the person as for whether or not you need those elements regardless on the research done. Still an interesting theory, but it doesn't really apply to everyone.

[NaNi]

I can be happy just reading emails from my SO, but Skype calls are very important for me as well. We only get to do that once a week now, but we're both always so excited for it and it makes us really happy. It makes me feel just a little bit closer to her. But sometimes it also makes me realize just how far apart we are and that we only have our webcams to be able to see each other.

[Rosebud]

I'm in agreeance with my fellow two gals who posted. In the year and a half my boyfriend and I have been together we've used the webcam and phone to communicate perhaps maybe a total of a dozen times. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved it and am not opposed to it and there are times I really do yearn for it, but at the same time we're both really awkward on camera and on the phone ad we don't communicate as easily as we do online. I don't think that affects or portrays how we interact in person either as it's simpley that webcam and phones are just some methods that certain people aren't comfortable with. Don't get me wrong, I think your idea makes sense and I've no doubt there is some scientific reasoning there, but the emotional heart has too many variances to really follow it in my opinion.

[MeeshaLenee]

I actually really like the OP and it makes tons of sense to me. It seems true in my relationship.... When we Skype, it's hard for us to be unhappy, because we're just so happy to see the face of our loved one. It always gives me a glowy feeling when I see my SO's face, more than even when I'm talking to him....

Thanks for sharing, this was so cool to read about! It explains things I didn't think about before.

[Micah]

I think I can relate to this. My SO and I don't use the internet for communication. We just talk on the phone. I feel really distant from him if we miss a daily phone call. As soon as I hear his voice again, everything is better. Also, we usually see each other monthly and after about 3 weeks of not seeing each other, I don't feel as close/connected to him. As soon as I see him in person, we're better than ever and everything gets recharged, so to speak. I am sure it is different for everyone because everyone has different wants and desires when it comes to communication. Plus, we're all in different situations. We all feel closer to our SOs in different ways, but I can relate to what MusicalSoul is saying.

[Rach321]

Yep, I can relate to it too. It's not absolutely necessary for me to feel connected to him, but I definitely do feel more of an emotional bond with him when we are able to see each other, even via skype. We understand one another's emotions so much better via our faces than text, or even voice. I empathize more with him and vice versa.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

OP, I am a biology major and am very familiar with oxytocin as well. I think you are right on for the most part with what you are saying, though I do also disagree a little bit. My boyfriend and I usually don't get to talk on the phone or cam with one another very often. We usually communicate through text, FB or MSN and I still feel just as in love with him as ever, though things can be misconstrued more easily through text-only. On the rare occasion we do get to have a phone conversation or cam, I feel a huge change in our relationship for the good. It feels amazing to hear his voice again. So, I am theorizing that you do get a slight boost in oxytocin levels when you get an email or IM or text from your partner, but just in a lower quantity than if you were to "see" them via Skype or ooVoo or hear their voice in a phone conversation. =]

[acroush]

I think I am a skype addict. I really do need to see my SO... It is not that I am unhappy reading texts or emails from him, but I definatly feel more attached to him when I can actually see his face or hear his voice. It really does make me fall in love with him all over again, to see his smile and his cute expressions. I can't wait to feel that intense bond we have when we are together again too! only 16 more days!

[Joyce:)]

well done with this thread, i fully agree!
i better get on skype right now

[CanadianGirl]

Me and my SO cam very often (at least every other day) and usually get our work done while our webcams are on. We usually don't get to talk (one of us is probably in a library or study room), but it's such a stress-relief to be able to exchange smiles. We've both upgraded to HD webcams now and it's amazing to see him that clearly. It's almost like he's sitting at the table with me.

[Insanity]

I can definitely relate to this, I struggle when I don't get to see my guy or get to hear him. It's been over 6 weeks since I've seen him on cam and about the same since we spoke on the phone and I definitely feel quite distant from him. I always feel better after seeing him on camera, even if it's only briefly.

[13000km]

Interesting..
I'm a bit of a skype addict myself. I skype with my boyfriend every day, and as much as I love his voice, I would prefer to see his face. We don't necessarily talk the whole time because we have other stuff to do, but the skype is left on, just so we can see each other.
Even skype is sometimes not enough. I am a very physical person and to have that lacking in a relationship created a lot of issues with insecurity in me. I need my hugs. (:

[MusicalSoul22]

Love all the responses, and like I mentioned, I believe it is possible to be different depending on situations....science is science, there are always exceptions.