my LDR girlfriend randomly dissapears

[atmosdefiler]

but i dont understand it, we talk pretty much 24 hours a day apart from the odd occasion i fall asleep at the keyboard (my pc is next to my bed) and the occasions she dissapears, i honestly hope that she has just fallen asleep, but im not too sure anymore

[atmosdefiler]

@laura: its been going on even before we started the relationship, ive known her for about 6 months and didnt really think much of it when we were just friends, she does have terrible sleeping patterns and she has sick so im guessing her dissapearences are due to her body trying to get rid of it, and as i said before both of our sleeping patterns are not very well organised, we both kinda have a habit of closing out eyes and waking up an hour or two later so thats what it might be

[LauraMaisie]

Well, maybe it's a case of trust. Has she given you any reason not to trust her? If she hasn't, then try not to worry too much.. I know it can be scary when she doesn't reply to you, but it could just be nothing.. Chin up, m'love. Hopefully everything will will be okay for you!

[atmosdefiler]

thanks :')

[nic&matt]

Let her know truely how you feel, just like everyone else has said. Hopefully, if you make it clear how important it is to you, she'll be able to really make an effort at it for you

[atmosdefiler]

thanks, ill tell her again, although i cant really blame her if she fell asleep, ive done it myself countless times after staying up all night with her

[Svea]

Communication is absolutely key, especially when your only option is using MSN. Even though my boyfriend does an amazing job at keeping me in the loop & making me feel like I am part of his every day life, if I don't hear from him for longer than I expected, a pit of worry forms itself in my stomach from time to time.

Stress to her how important it is for you to be kept in the loop, without seeming clingy if it's possible. If she's busy, to tell you.. if she wants alone time, to at least tell you.

[ClipitsWings]

Aw, I hope you're okay. Try to chillax. Occupy your time some, because if its not on purpose, its kind of hard to control. Sometimes I don't notice a message, or my phone is off, or i pass out, or i go out, or something happens and I can't tell him, and the same thing happens on his end. Just relax, she'll come back.

However, I do not like this "..." thing, i hope she's saying more besides that. But that's just me

[Rosebud]

It's understandable if she simply fall asleep and has no time to warn you beforehand, but I really do not think it's okay for her not to let you know where she was after she returns from just having disappeared without warning. As you've said you have not been dating for very log and I think this is an issue she needs to understand is not okay and you two need to work something out. If she feels that perhaps you guys are spending too much time together then she needs to say so (and could possibly be the cause and that's okay, everyone needs time to themselves) and you guys might benefit from having a specific set time during the day in which you guys can focus solely on each other, and in this way if she gets sleepy, wants some alone time, has other things to do, etc. she can do so without having to costantly tell you but at the same time you'llhave your few hours alone with her to look forward to.

In any case as I said I really think this isn't something you should put up with since if you talk as much as you say you do I don't think it'd be very difficult for her to explain where she went.

[Joyce:)]

listen, i am 9 hours ahead of my boyfriend, so i fully understand the fact that time can be an issue, that people can fall asleep and so on, but i also know that i warn my boyfriend if i know that i'm going to be unavailable.
spamming her may come across the wrong way, just write her a long email where you tell her exactly how you feel, why you feel this way, and what you would like her to do (write to you, communicate more..).
i must say, she's 18 like me, and i know that i wouldn't reply to my boyfriend with "..." if i knew that he was worried sick about me, i'd reply this way if he drove me crazy for some reason or if i was mad.

how did your guys' relationship start? and has she been like this all the time or is it a recent thing?

[Darth_Taco]

I'm guessing you have little experience in relationships. You're coming of as very clingy. You talk to her all hours of the day and night, and then you suddenly freak out when she's gone a few hours. Ever consider that maybe she just needs some space or at least a nap? I talk to my boyfriend all the time too, but the poor guy has work, friends, family, hygiene, sleep, ect. We just answer each other when we can. I agree, she should warn you. I think part of the reason she doesn't is because you're likely scaring her. You've only been together a month, known each other 6, and you're already showing really needy behavior. You need to relax and back off a little. Let her come to you instead.

[atmosdefiler]

joyce, honestly i dont know how to answer, it has been like that from the start but..i dont know it never bothered me till she got sick, i know i may be acting clingy but, well i cant help it, after having only one successful relationship that ended in complete and utter disaster because i was too distant to her, i find Lori and well the two years of pain it took to get over her (my ex) were gone in an instant, i really do love her with all my heart, i just dont want to mess it up

[atmosdefiler]

oh and Darth, my talking to her for all hours is a result of, no friends to hang out with, no job, no real world interaction at all and to top it off my family isnt exactly talking to me

[Sierra]

oh and Darth, my talking to her for all hours is a result of, no friends to hang out with, no job, no real world interaction at all and to top it off my family isnt exactly talking to me

My boyfriend and I talk all day, and I wouldn't call him clingy, and I'm not clingy either.
However, he lets me know when he's heading out for the night, that we'll talk later. I never just 'disappear' on him, and if one of us does it's usually because of an internet outage. Now that we talk on the phone as well, we just call each other.

I have very few friends, but I do not depend on my boyfriend as my outside contact with the world. I absolutely give him his much needed space, as he gives me mind.

As it's been suggested, she may feel like you're being clingy and maybe she needs you to take a step back. Ask her if your behavior bothers her, and if it does amend it in a way that works for her, but ask her to allow you some cutesy in letting you know when she'll be gone.

[atmosdefiler]

ive just figured out that she passed out because of her illness, i dont use her for my contact with the world, i just choose to lock myself in my room i cant really blame her for passing out, she has a very weak immune system and well when we were on cam, even though she tried to hide it, i could tell it was taking a lot out of her, so maybe im just being paranoid for no reason, but we have talked now and she says nothing about my behaviour is bothering her, "No, you're not bothering me. its kinda cute" was her reply to my question