quitting addictions for love

[Joyce:)]

I just wanted to share this with you, and i was wondering if your SO ever helped you quit some addiction.

I used to smoke (yes, i know, gross) before i left for my year in america. one of the many rules of my exchange programme was not to smoke or i could even be sent back to italy, so i did my best not to, except for parties and when i'd hang out with the mum of a friend. it was tough, SO TOUGH.

When i had first arrived in the states, i started dating a health maniac that basically told me he'd dump me if i ever smoked another cigarette. not the best approach. he wouldn't even let me try hookah, that is a lot less strong than a cigarette!

i broke up with the health maniac, enjoyed the single life for a bit and then met my SO. he didn't like it when i told him i'd smoke in italy, but he said it was my choice.

once my exchange was over, and i went back to italy, being around smokers i just went back to the old bad habit, trying to reduce it to when i drank, but you drink all the time in italy, so that was pointless!

my SO and i weren't actually together when i left to go back to italy, but we still talked, a lot, and would say "i love you" and so on. he told me he worried about my health, but he didn't want to force me to do anything.

i respect him, and i respect that he didn't want to force me or tell me what to do. i decided to quit, and OH MY GOODNESS it was difficult, especially because at school everyone smokes and my friends were not supportive, tempting me and telling me that anyway my boyfriend wouldn't know.

sorry, i've written too much.. long story short, i haven't been smoking since november, despite all the temptations, and i owe it to my love.

[acroush]

yay! I am glad that he can help you with your habit!

[Heather]

What kinds of things did you do to quit smoking? My SO made it very clear to me that, that is one thing he doesn't like is someone who smokes. His mom smoked, his sister smokes, his exs all smoked etc. But he doesn't and he told me before I came to live with him that he couldn't be with a smoker long-term. I fear that me smoking cigarettes is going to end our relationship, he has been dealing with it better lately he just doesn't kiss me as much when I smoke. I quit for a few weeks, but started up again. It's a hard hard thing to just stop doing and I'm finding myself craving them more when I don't have them than when I do.

Congratulations on quitting and I'm glad he's been a great support for you to stop!

[Joyce:)]

i just used to smoke cigarettes. in italy so many people smoke, so it isn't frowned upon as it is in america.. for example, in my class it's just me and another boy who don't smoke, so everytime, between classes, everyone else goes out to smoke and school feels pretty lonely.

have you ever tried electric cigarettes?

you can't quit smoking unless you want to, as i found, you can quit only if you're not being forced to, and instead you're doing it for yourself and to make someone proud.

it really helped to have my boyfriend support me and remind me how grateful and proud he was that i was quitting

[leaveluck2heaven]

I don't consider myself a "smoker" but I do smoke both cigarettes and pot occasionally... My boyfriend never told me I had to stop but it's clearly not a habit he likes and I mean, I can see why, it's not like it's a good habit to have! So I'm trying to give it up altogether. I'm not super addicted so I don't really get withdrawals or anything but I do get cravings and it's hard, especially socially. My ex didn't like it either but to be honest I didn't particularly like my ex, so I just smoked when he wasn't around, and I don't want to get into the habit again, so the couple of times I've relapsed, I've told Gabriel about it. He says he's proud of me even though I've smoked a few times since I 'quit' and I think it'll be easier once we close the distance... I won't want to see the look on his face if he smells smoke on me, here it's so easy to think 'well it's just this once, it's not like he'd ever find out.' When I drink (and I drink a lot), it makes me want to smoke and it also makes me more apt to talk about it, so I've expressed to him a few times while drunk how much I want to, and he's been really supportive like 'I know it's hard, you're being really strong' and he told me once I got home he would keep my hands occupied with other things, hehehe.

Like I said, I'm not even really addicted and I find it hard, I know how really crazy difficult it must be for long term smokers! I think it's great that you guys are quitting/trying to quit, and I know you can do it if you keep your mind to it and remember why it's important! It's great to have SOs for support but don't forget that you're also doing it for yourself and your health! <3 Stay strong!

[Joyce:)]

I don't consider myself a "smoker" but I do smoke both cigarettes and pot occasionally... My boyfriend never told me I had to stop but it's clearly not a habit he likes and I mean, I can see why, it's not like it's a good habit to have! So I'm trying to give it up altogether. I'm not super addicted so I don't really get withdrawals or anything but I do get cravings and it's hard, especially socially. My ex didn't like it either but to be honest I didn't particularly like my ex, so I just smoked when he wasn't around, and I don't want to get into the habit again, so the couple of times I've relapsed, I've told Gabriel about it. He says he's proud of me even though I've smoked a few times since I 'quit' and I think it'll be easier once we close the distance... I won't want to see the look on his face if he smells smoke on me, here it's so easy to think 'well it's just this once, it's not like he'd ever find out.' When I drink (and I drink a lot), it makes me want to smoke and it also makes me more apt to talk about it, so I've expressed to him a few times while drunk how much I want to, and he's been really supportive like 'I know it's hard, you're being really strong' and he told me once I got home he would keep my hands occupied with other things, hehehe.

Like I said, I'm not even really addicted and I find it hard, I know how really crazy difficult it must be for long term smokers! I think it's great that you guys are quitting/trying to quit, and I know you can do it if you keep your mind to it and remember why it's important! It's great to have SOs for support but don't forget that you're also doing it for yourself and your health! <3 Stay strong!

LOL i enjoyed reading your reply, and i hope you'll manage it too
i must say, it is tough not to smoke when you drink, and i too drink a lot. and i miss it when i have coffee, or before and after a test at school, or after an argument.

i think i actually gained a few pounds ever since i smoked my last cigarette, and i'm not that amused by this!

oh, and i too, when i'm drunk, just rant and rant to him about how i didn't smoke and i was so good and i want him to be proud and so on :P

[leaveluck2heaven]

Yeah, for me the big trigger is other people smoking, and a lot of people smoke in Ireland too. My big tactic for not getting too addicted has always been not buying my own cigs, I've never bought a pack, but here it's pretty easy to bum so I have to be careful.

My drunk ramblings are a little bit the opposite, it's like "I didn't smoke but UGH I really wanted to!" and then I get all sad, I think it makes him uncomfortable that I ever smoked, especially pot because he's just kind of the most innocent person when it comes to drugs, but he's always really good about telling me he's proud of me.

[slbeckert]

I've never been much of a smoker, but I drink like no other. I can't have just one, and I usually make myself sick every time alcohol is brought out. My SO has gotten over some pretty sever addictions and made it clear that he wanted me to be healthy. I've only had a few drinks in the 2 months we've been dating. It kills me to see the look on his face when he learns I've been drinking.

Congrats on not smoking

[princessmeg1328]

Like you, I also quit smoking just recently. I officially had my last cigarette in December. It was the end of the semester, and my friends and I were celebrating the end. Anyway for me, it seemed like once I had Gareth and he told me how much he didn't like it that it became so much easier to quit. It was like I couldn't quit for myself, but I could quit for the person I love most in the world. I'm still tempted every now and then, especially when I'm with friends who smoke, but I just remember how much I don't want to do it anymore. I know I would feel horrible if I had to tell Gareth that I smoked another cigarette and heard the disappointment in his voice. Wanting him to be proud of me makes me not want to have another cigarette ever.

[Mizpah]

I've fortunately not had any addictions, but Aaron quit smoking for me. I am allergic to smoke, and my grandmother (now dead) ruined her health with her smoking addiciton. He's been smoke-free for over a year now. He has used alternatives to help in the early days, like Snuss (those things that look like little tea bags), which he still uses occasionally. I can't wait until he's totally free of his addiction, but I am patient and supportive because I know how hard it is.

He had an experience like you with the girl he dated before me. They were LD, and she was a real jerk to him about his smoking, broke up with him and THEN gave him an ultimatum. They didn't last long. Go figure. I didn't ask him to, demand that he quit, or anything of that nature. I did tell him of my allergy, and the affect my grandmother's choices had on me before I knew he was a smoker. When I learned, I expressed my concern, and left it at that. He chose to quit, just as you did, and it really was a byproduct of love and respect.

You can't force someone to change, and really, you shouldn't try. Good on your SO for not going the route your ex did.

[Brandie]

My boyfriend has now gone 42 days without having a cigarette And he is completely sober! I'm so proud of him, he has been making some changes in his life slowly but surely and I couldn't be happier, I support him 100%. Some days are harder than others with everything he is going through, but I just continue to reassure him that I'm here for him no matter what I love him!

[Joyce:)]

Like you, I also quit smoking just recently. I officially had my last cigarette in December. It was the end of the semester, and my friends and I were celebrating the end. Anyway for me, it seemed like once I had Gareth and he told me how much he didn't like it that it became so much easier to quit. It was like I couldn't quit for myself, but I could quit for the person I love most in the world. I'm still tempted every now and then, especially when I'm with friends who smoke, but I just remember how much I don't want to do it anymore. I know I would feel horrible if I had to tell Gareth that I smoked another cigarette and heard the disappointment in his voice. Wanting him to be proud of me makes me not want to have another cigarette ever.

i had thought about quitting for myself, but is it just wasn't enough of a motivation.

congrats on quitting! <3

[Joyce:)]

My boyfriend has now gone 42 days without having a cigarette And he is completely sober! I'm so proud of him, he has been making some changes in his life slowly but surely and I couldn't be happier, I support him 100%. Some days are harder than others with everything he is going through, but I just continue to reassure him that I'm here for him no matter what I love him!

aww i just really love to see how you can change for love. and congratulations to your boyfriend

[leonsfangirl]

I've quit social smoking, i used to smoke like a chimney but quit when i got pregnant with my first child but since then I've smoked when i was drinking with friends but I've stopped that now. He couldn't understand why i would do that to myself and said he'd leave me if i did it again lol. There have been times when I've been really tempted but i could just imagine him shaking his head at me and i don't do it.

[Élan]

I quit smoking because my SO asked me to. If we broke up, the first thing I'd do is walk to 711 and buy a pack. I love smoking so much. At least he lets me smoke shisha now and again.

I quit cold turkey from two packs a day months ago and I am STILL not happy about it! I guess it's love when I can give up my favorite thing for the person I'm with. :P We are close distance now, so it's fairly easy to avoid cigarettes. But when we were long distance, it was so tempting to have "just a few" now and then.