any helpful advice or insperation or just some cheerful words?

[kiara_silver]

I wrote it in my blog, lol wrote here to but i think it was just my hormones talking sorry. Anyways so i am struggling but im trying to work it out anyways here are some questions

Okay so guys whats the longest you have went without talking to your SO? what would be to long for you? How may hours a day do you talk now?

since february 20th till now ive talked to my SO a total of 32 hours in 63 days. lol yeah i was bored and added it up stopped there. I am struggling and just need encouragement, anybody?

[LadyMarchHare]

Okay so guys whats the longest you have went without talking to your SO? Little more than three weeks last summer. We spoke once the second to last week of June and then the next time we spoke was either just before August or the first week of it. He had gone home to Georgia because his mom had been hospitalized for a diabetic episode and was in the middle of fighting with her, fighting with her boyfriend, and dealing with the fact it was the anniversary of his stepdad's death. I was mad at him for not telling me he was going but I suppose it was last minute and then drama ensued.

what would be to long for you? Two months or so. I can be understanding if work gets too intense or he doesn't have the free time/something broke/whatever but after two months I'd be checking the obituaries every day.

How may hours a day do you talk now? Depending on how early he responds to any text I've sent or texts me himself we usually have anywhere between 15 and 30 minutes a week. Mind you this is over text message and he sucks at it (big fingers + itty bitty keys = forever to type) so if our conversations were held over IM or an actual phone call in reality they'd take maybe 3 minutes. Better than nothing, though.

Going long periods without talking to your SO, especially when you're like me and don't have anyone else to talk to (which is why I have so many dadgum posts on this forum, I'm LONELY), sucks. And that's just putting it mildly. But to me I've found when I go so long without hearing from him it makes me all the more grateful for the time we do get and cherish any of the conversations we manage even if it's just a "hi, love you, bye" sort of deal.

[Micah]

My SO and I usually talk on the phone every day, ranging from 5-45 minutes. Every once in a while we skip a day, but it's rare. On those days, we usually send a few texts to one another. The longest I have went without talking to him was about a week because he was hunting and didn't have cell reception where he was. Under normal circumstances, more than 24 hours would be too long for me.

I think normal is different for everyone. Not everyone needs daily talks. Whatever works for you is awesome for you as a couple, but I would try not to compare it to others on here because everyone's different.

[Mara]

I haven't really gone a long time without talking to my SO. The longest I've ever gone is probably only two days with completely no contact, but that was only when we were having a rough time and we both needed space. I'm sure there are tons of days though were we have limited contact. We are both so busy with school, work, friends, organizations, family, etc. not to mention our different schedules that some days it's just hard to have time to spend together, but we both try to, at least, talk for five or ten minutes a day even if it's just checking in with the other person and telling them that we love them.

And you know, that's what really helps me get through the days of limited communication and the distance and all the over obstacles in our relationship. The love we have makes it possible for us both to face all of these things together. His love for me doesn't change if we talk 5 hours a day or 5 minutes a day he still loves me as I'm sure your SO does you. I try to keep that in mind and I find it makes things a whole lot easier. Yes, it's hard sometimes when all you want to do is talk to your SO, but you can't for whatever reason. [I've only talked to my SO about five minutes today actually. He worked today and he's studying now.]

But days like these are days I like to utilize for other things. I'll get some work done that I need to or maybe I'll go out with one of my friends later or do some reading that I need to get done. I don't just sit around and think about him and how I miss him because that only makes things worse.

I think the biggest encouragement to me is that I know this is all just temporary. We won't be long distance forever and we won't be this busy forever either. This too shall pass.

[kiara_silver]

Thank you guys i so need this. i half blame my hormones. (started my thing today) and i feel like crying, im just so fed up with the distance and the no contact, we don't talk on the phone and very rarely skype, like once a month if that. so its instant messaging and we do that like a hour average every few days. and its really getting to me, i just feel lonely and lol writing and even discussing this makes me want to cry wich is silly lol i frusterate myself. i feel bad for him, having to put up with me, here he is working hard and im missing him and feeling neglected. but i can't help it... i only have 50 more days, going to see him for the first time and im scared, but i know i'll get over this, i love him more than i can tell you he's my one and only and yeah i do know he loves me too, so ehhhhh have to get through this

[Mara]

Oh you are so soon to seeing him! Just hang on a little bit more it'll get better, you'll see.

My SO and I don't talk on the phone or skype either. All of our conversations are either text message, IM, or email. Neither of us really likes talking on the phone, it's also expensive, and then we never seem to have the time to do so anyways. We wanted to try skype, but we never seem to have the time. We've been trying to do a movie night together for the past week or so and we haven't even had time to do that.

You know what really helps me when I am feeling down? I'll look through old messages of ours or photos of him or even just listen to songs that remind me of us. That works and lots of chocolate. haha.

[kiara_silver]

lol don't suggest the chocolates! i just had icecream, haha starting monday im starting a new diet. I feel a bit better, i got a offline message from him earlier. I just need to remind myself of how much he's worth it, i tend o selfishly think of myself and only how im feeling, its hard being in a LDR and on top of that not talking for days, but thank you, the support helps so much, i don't have many i can talk to about my relationship

[13000km]

We skype every day for at least an hour, more on the weekends. We've barely gone without talking. There's the very rare day I don't get home before he leaves for school/work but those days we text a lot. The only time I can think of that we went days without talking was when I was on holiday in Bali and could not find free wifi for the first 3 days.

But like those above me have said, every couple is different and not everyone needs a certain amount of talk time per day/week. Talk with your boyfriend about what is preferred, maybe set aside time each week for each other. I hope you have a great visit! (: