help asap

[purplesunscreen]

just saw via facebook status that my boyfriend is considering living with his ex girlfriend for the summer. he has not mentioned this to me whatsoever, so i can't decide if this is true or just a rouse from the ex seeing that she has always been bitter that he dropped her for me. This was almost two years ago, but really, in what universe is this ok??? I am trying to count to 10 here but I just want to scream. help!

[vpavelock]

Live with her??? In what way? No matter the circumstance, you really need to talk to him A.S.A.P. and figure out what it meant. In the meantime, relax with some music and blow off steam!

[LadyMarchHare]

I agree, you need to calm down and then get hold of your boyfriend. If it's too late where he is, wait until tomorrow. If all this is true, my guess is the living situation would be platonic, at least on his end. I doubt he'd be going to live with her just to get back together with her, I've known people to room with their exes because they already know them and know what they're capable of and have it run without incident, but if she's looking to get back with him or is in any form jealous enough to consider whispering stuff in his ear to get a wedge between you two or break you up, I don't think that's such a good living arrangement as it's inviting needless drama. Not to mention I'm guessing you're not exactly thrilled with the idea and I think he needs to respect your views on this.

[purplesunscreen]

im trying to talk to him. this doesn't seem like something he would do, but i am furious. i feel embarrassed and hurt. i just don't think its appropriate to live with your ex girlfriend ever. ever.

[vpavelock]

im trying to talk to him. this doesn't seem like something he would do, but i am furious. i feel embarrassed and hurt. i just don't think its appropriate to live with your ex girlfriend ever. ever.

Some people may argue that if you trust him enough.... But I completely agree, it's unacceptable and he can find SOMEONE else to live with if he tries hard enough.

[purplesunscreen]

oh i trust him fine. I don't trust her. plus she is cruel to me. she hates me, and i would not want to visit that apartment where they would be living. i am just trying to calm down here, because i know once i get a hold of him i am going to scream, and i don't want that. thanks for listening guys. i really just needed to vent.

[LadyMarchHare]

Some people may argue that if you trust him enough.... But I completely agree, it's unacceptable and he can find SOMEONE else to live with if he tries hard enough.

As I mentioned before if the circumstances are right I think it's fine to share an apartment or whatever with an ex. You know them as opposed to someone you found on Craigslist, you know their bad habits, their dislikes, and so you're about halfway prepared for what living with them will be like based on said knowledge. However, that's only if both parties no longer have lingering feelings for one another or any issues of jealousy should one or both be dating other people. So they're an ex, big deal. They're still a person, it's not like because you dated them once and you've moved on the person suddenly contracted the bubonic plague and you need to be 9 miles away from them at all times. But I digress I'm getting offtopic for the sake of an opinion.

purplesunscreen, right now you seriously, and I mean this out of concern, seriously need to take a chill pill. If you go at him right now it's going to be like watching Mike Tyson beat up a newborn just because the baby pooped. i.e. not pretty and not fair. You're pissed, that much is apparent, and really in that state you're liable to say things you're going to regret or he's going to hold against you if it doesn't just amount to a grand "fuck you and goodbye". If you give yourself time to calm down and think about what you want to say without biting his head off, you'll get a better reaction and a better chance at actually discussing the issue and not screaming at one another about how it's his life but you're his girlfriend and blabla.

[Miramaid]

been in exactly the same situation and had to say firmly "NO". I told him that he can do whatever he wants but every day he is living with her i will not be happy at all and if that is what he wants to do he can go for it. He did not

[purplesunscreen]

LadyMarchHare you're right. I don't plan on screaming at him. I don't want that to happen. I am not going to talk about it until tomorrow when i have cooled down, however, i still don't see why living with her is ok. I completely agree that ex's are people too, but she is not nice to me, she goes out of her way to be cruel and an asshole to me. I don't feel that i could handle that on a regular basis.

[LadyMarchHare]

My defense on the subject in general was under the circumstances that everything is okay between the exes and their current partners. In your case, she's treating you like you're a stain on her favorite shirt and I think that is a major factor for disaster if he does indeed move in with her, even temporarily. If she has it out for you, she'll be given the chance to badmouth you and spread more rumors than a highschooler about you to him in hopes he'll leave you or crawl back to her. Even if he does tell her to eat soap over it and to not talk to him about you, it's ultimately a bag of drama waiting to be opened. She's a bitter ex with a vendetta. Tell him you're uncomfortable with him doing this, and if he isn't aware of how she treats you, make him aware. No man wants to be in the middle of a potential cat fight.

[Butterfly]

IMO, this is unacceptable - UNLESS of course, you both have discussed it.. If he came to you and asked your opinion and you said you were OK with it.. THEN it is fine..

If not, I'd be livid. Just sayin!

[Joyce:)]

what is not right is that you get to see this through a facebook post while he hasn't mentioned it to you