I wanted to get into the introductions thread and say hello first before coming to you all for help and advice, or even just support. I met my fiance in September of 2008, and we have been madly in love ever since despite the rocky relationship we've had. We live 950 miles apart - he is in South Carolina and I am in Wisconsin. He is a former Navy SEAL and now owns a computer shop (and is a pro-gamer) and I am a second-time college student (former band teacher turned nursing student). We both have been having a lot of stress outside of our relationship, and there has been a lot of stress in it, but I wouldn't give up a second of what we've had, even with the bad.
So where to start... we keep in touch primarily by talking on Skype and through gaming. He works from home, so we can be on almost all the time. My job was recently eliminated so I really don't work - I just am in school anywhere from 1-3 days a week depending on the week. When it is good in our relationship, it is VERY good and it is as if nothing can come between us or stop us or anything. But then, when it's bad... you get the picture.
I don't even think it was that big of a deal today. And he didn't tell me until after stewing for 12 hours about it. So what happened? We play World of Warcraft. We took a few months off to play another game, but discovered there were some major flaws in it that we couldn't look past anymore so we returned to the game he introduced me to (prior to meeting him I wanted to get into gaming but didn't know where to start). So, he asked me to duel him so he could try out a new piece of gear or something. So, we did. We've done this multiple times daily and I have never won. Today, my hand slipped on my keyboard and I won the duel against him. He instantly ran away from where we were in-game, and sold the gear he was wearing. I had to go for awhile for lunch, but when I returned he was refusing to speak. It wasn't until just now that he told me that he had never been so humiliated. Turns out that guys who have known him all this time were whispering him, telling him "You just got pwned" and other embarassing things. This all took place this morning before 11 am ---- it's now 12 hours later.
There have been times that he's made me so angry because of his actions in the game that I've wanted to leave him, but I haven't. There have been several times that he's hurt me in some way because of the game, but I've looked past it. Now, he finally is going through what I've been dealing with for the last year and a half. This is the only time I've done something. He does something like this to me monthly. But he's trying to play the innocent victim. Part of me is irate at him, but at the same time, he mentioned that he's debating about just going offline and staying offline. It's like every two or four weeks there's been something that's happened that people are telling me to leave him for. Even when we first met, his ex-wife returned to the picture and physically attacked him with his old knife from the SEALS. The following month his mother died -- after that his sister in law was trying to get him to give her the house and then after that he almost lost the house because of an overdue mortgage payment.
What really gets me is that there are so many reasons I could have left him all this time. So many. But I didn't because I knew that we were better than that and stronger than that. I knew we could get through anything, even being separated for the two years I have left of nursing school after this (it took 3 years to get into the program, and the month I was accepted is the month he proposed). I admit that I am younger than him, 13 years, but there are so many times, including tonight, that he acts like a 5 year old. And what gets me is that he's thinking about leaving me because my hand slipped on the keyboard and I beat him. I just don't get it. I've spent the day apologizing rather than studying. My grades have already slipped because of him (I first wanted to go on for my nurse practitioner after my BSN/RN, but with my grades lately, that probably won't happen). I just wish he'd stop toying with me like this. I finally was able to talk to him about several things that have been on my mind with him tonight, because to be honest, I don't know if he'll be there when I log online tomorrow or not.
This may have been the last time I will have ever spoken to him. I don't even know where to begin on a breakup or fixing this or anything. I've never had a relationship with anyone, local or long-distance, last this long. He really is/was the one. he's my soulmate, but I don't know if he's willing now to even come back to me. And of course he always does something petty like this the night before an exam.
So where was I? I guess some advice would be needed, especially from anyone who is a gamer or a man. I didn't intend to even try to beat him - my hand just slipped - but he claims it was deliberate. I can't believe he's acting this way over one duel in a game. If not advice, some solace or something to just help me move on. I hate waiting for him to make up his mind on this.
So where to start... we keep in touch primarily by talking on Skype and through gaming. He works from home, so we can be on almost all the time. My job was recently eliminated so I really don't work - I just am in school anywhere from 1-3 days a week depending on the week. When it is good in our relationship, it is VERY good and it is as if nothing can come between us or stop us or anything. But then, when it's bad... you get the picture.
I don't even think it was that big of a deal today. And he didn't tell me until after stewing for 12 hours about it. So what happened? We play World of Warcraft. We took a few months off to play another game, but discovered there were some major flaws in it that we couldn't look past anymore so we returned to the game he introduced me to (prior to meeting him I wanted to get into gaming but didn't know where to start). So, he asked me to duel him so he could try out a new piece of gear or something. So, we did. We've done this multiple times daily and I have never won. Today, my hand slipped on my keyboard and I won the duel against him. He instantly ran away from where we were in-game, and sold the gear he was wearing. I had to go for awhile for lunch, but when I returned he was refusing to speak. It wasn't until just now that he told me that he had never been so humiliated. Turns out that guys who have known him all this time were whispering him, telling him "You just got pwned" and other embarassing things. This all took place this morning before 11 am ---- it's now 12 hours later.
There have been times that he's made me so angry because of his actions in the game that I've wanted to leave him, but I haven't. There have been several times that he's hurt me in some way because of the game, but I've looked past it. Now, he finally is going through what I've been dealing with for the last year and a half. This is the only time I've done something. He does something like this to me monthly. But he's trying to play the innocent victim. Part of me is irate at him, but at the same time, he mentioned that he's debating about just going offline and staying offline. It's like every two or four weeks there's been something that's happened that people are telling me to leave him for. Even when we first met, his ex-wife returned to the picture and physically attacked him with his old knife from the SEALS. The following month his mother died -- after that his sister in law was trying to get him to give her the house and then after that he almost lost the house because of an overdue mortgage payment.
What really gets me is that there are so many reasons I could have left him all this time. So many. But I didn't because I knew that we were better than that and stronger than that. I knew we could get through anything, even being separated for the two years I have left of nursing school after this (it took 3 years to get into the program, and the month I was accepted is the month he proposed). I admit that I am younger than him, 13 years, but there are so many times, including tonight, that he acts like a 5 year old. And what gets me is that he's thinking about leaving me because my hand slipped on the keyboard and I beat him. I just don't get it. I've spent the day apologizing rather than studying. My grades have already slipped because of him (I first wanted to go on for my nurse practitioner after my BSN/RN, but with my grades lately, that probably won't happen). I just wish he'd stop toying with me like this. I finally was able to talk to him about several things that have been on my mind with him tonight, because to be honest, I don't know if he'll be there when I log online tomorrow or not.
This may have been the last time I will have ever spoken to him. I don't even know where to begin on a breakup or fixing this or anything. I've never had a relationship with anyone, local or long-distance, last this long. He really is/was the one. he's my soulmate, but I don't know if he's willing now to even come back to me. And of course he always does something petty like this the night before an exam.
So where was I? I guess some advice would be needed, especially from anyone who is a gamer or a man. I didn't intend to even try to beat him - my hand just slipped - but he claims it was deliberate. I can't believe he's acting this way over one duel in a game. If not advice, some solace or something to just help me move on. I hate waiting for him to make up his mind on this.
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