Facebook and your SO

[Rach]

Facebook is actually how my SO and I started chatting.
I met him off facebook, then we added each other and I thought nothing more of it (he was friends with a guy I've known for awhile, I thought he was cool and thought it would be nice to have another international friend)
He sent me a chat message one day and it went from there (Skype).

I have only had a few issues with it, his ex's trying to flirt with him over fbook etc. We have taken care of all that though.
I really like that he has facebook. That's how we send our normal messages to each other rather than email.
I'm always on facebook and he's on it enough to be active but mostly just to send me messages.

Plus it's a nice way to share things, he's friends with a lot of my friend etc.

[tiffinnie]

My SO has a facebook but he is very private about relationships. It took a year of knowing each other before he was comfy with me posting love messages on his wall and tho we r married neither of us has changed our relationship status. He simply does not want people from his work knowing his personal life and to be honest he doesn't want them trying to be friends with me. I understand you may get jealous but remember words you read can be taken differently from their intention. If you feel secure in your relationship then you should be fine.

my SO waaas like this, but now he has publicly put that he is in a relationship with me and now he is going around work telling everyone he is going all of july to meet me I feel awesome about that! I only get really jealous when his mom gets involved... not "oh why is his mom writing on his wall" type stuff but when a girl shows up out of the blue and starts making dinner plans with his family and hers and she isnt a relative... I get jealous (thats currently going on actually) and his mom gets on there and is all excited about it... >.< his family knows about me, as do some of his friends... so... I'm a little jealous when it comes to FB but yea... I get annoyed.

and I do have his password and log in occasionally (99% of the time its to read the status updates in portuguese since I'm learning and try to translate them) and he has no problem with me logging in. He didn't have FB before he met me, and he got it right before we got together per my request.

[TknandLvnIt]

We both had facebook and then he deactivated his account. I'm the only one on there but I go on like once a day and that's about it. We were never "facebook official", don't have pictures posted of each other and never wrote on each others walls or sent messages. We use it to keep in touch with people that we only talk to casually. We rarely commented on each others pictures or statuses. My SO's twin brother and his gf are on facebook and they are that couple that is mushy and post pictures and are all over each others pages...Its kind of frustrating and I think that is the main reason my SO and I have kept our rltshp off of their. Those who need to know know and neither of us is into facebook like that. I have seen it cause problems in others relationships though.

[lucybelle]

My SO and I are "friends" on FB. We both check it regularly but I am far more active on it (as far as putting up statuses, commenting, putting up pictures, etc.) The only thing I'm not allowed to do is "de-masculineize" him on FB. For example no putting up pictures of him wearing my apron and washing dishes, or writing anything about him watching Say Yes to the Dress with me. Here is okay cuz he doesn't even know I'm on here! hehe

We're not "in a relationship" on facebook, I have a fake marriage with one of my friends. And in fact I think his still says single. But that doesn't bother me in the least. The man left his country to move in with me. I'm not questioning commitment!

[Mara]

Yeah, we're "Facebook official". My SO gets on Facebook fairly regularly, but isn't too active about making statuses or posting photos, it's mostly him just networking or being nosy as I call it. No, we're not that annoying little every status we make is about each other or writing all types of mushy stuff on each others' wall couple, but I do make statuses every now and then about him. *shrugs* I'm just a very upfront and honest person. I have nothing to hide and I don't care who knows I'm in a relationship with him. If I want to say something about my boyfriend I do, if I don't, I don't. Never had any drama or any problems in this relationship in regards to Facebook. With my ex aka the cheater, I actually first got wind to his less than honest ways through Facebook. It sort of tipped me off that something was up because he had his relationship status as 'single' even though we'd been together for over three years, there were all types of women that I had no idea who they were posting on his statuses etc, and he was very careful not to make mention of me or post any photos of us.

[Rugger]

My SO and I are facebook official. I used to be hardcore into facebook so I was on it a lot. I'm still on quite a bit , but not as much. He's on regularly. We don't have a problem with it, except when I find girls flirting with him via comments. Then I post hearts <3

[Malaga]

We both have an account, but he hasn't posted anything in ages. He logs in daily though, to check what's happening. I'm a bit more active but by no means regular. We're not listed as in relationship, I always thought that was a bit too private of an information to share with 100+ people, and he's really private too. We've never even posted anything on each other's walls, although we're tagged in each other's pics.

However, I'm starting to change my mind about the status thing I want to brag to the world. I will wait for for a bit longer before I suggest it. All of his family and friends know about me, so I'm not fussed about the no status thing, but it would be a nice touch. He did recently change his profile pic to a photo of us together, so maybe he's warming up to the idea

[MissShortie]

I haven't had any facebook problems with relationships really, other than once I broke up with one boyfriend he stalked him on facebook...

But my SO now only has one because I crated it for him, he hardly ever gets on it... I once posted on his wall saying I missed him and he replied back like 4 months later.. but I'm not a facebook addict or anything so it doesn't bother me that he hardly gets on, I only keep mine so I know how my family in FL are doing

[Lunar Snow]

Well, I have been watching this thread and trying to decide whether to post or not. Here I am!

I freely admit that we have had quite a few problems over things said and done or not said and done on Facebook. Yet, we both like to use it to communicate with our friends, family, and each other (we mostly play games or look at each other's pictures on Facebook, though, as email, Skype, texting, or phone seem more personal for us). I think Facebook is going to continue to be a presence, then. We do have each other listed as in a relationship and have couple-y photos up, but I don't think we ever post anything overly mushy to each other (we are both rather private in that regard).

I think I remember the original post and how you were a bit worried that it might bring problems into your relationship. It seems like there are different camps on it here on LFAD and I tend more toward that Facebook can cause many problems small and large (but it's a good general tool) camp. From lots of experience, my suggestion would be to bring up your feelings or worries on it (the sooner the better, actually) and try and set some ground rules between the two of you to prevent or discourage disagreements. Don't let other people (including us at LFAD) dictate to you what rules you should have, because they may be comfortable or uncomfortable with things you are not--the rules have to be decided between you and he.

Edit: to books, I just reread your original post. I think you should talk to him about it one more time--I am glad you explained why you feel uncomfortable, but he has to explain what he means by not doing anything "bad"--that just seems too vague to me. Then, work on the ground rules together.

As for checking his page lots, gosh, I know the feeling! I still do that with my SO, but it has sort of come into ebbs and flows now as to how frequently I look at his page. I hate that I can get too focused on looking him up sometimes. I will say, though, that you aren't freakish and lots of people do it (I bet every single person has Facebook creeped! It is a hotbed of voyeurism!). Ultimately, if you have the ground rules down and maybe some idea of what happens if one of you transgresses them, then I think that you will begin to feel more trusting and less compelled to check his page so often.

[kireinamida]

We're both on Facebook, and are also "in a relationship" to each other.
I'm there almost all the time because I use it to communicate with my friends and other people. My SO doesn't use it as much as I do, and he uses it mostly just to talk with me.

[LakayLovesRay]

My SO and I met on Myspace. back when it was tight and Facebook wasnt popular,
buut , a few months after we were together we figured that it would be best for us to just delete them . it caused alot of uneeded drama and hurt feelings,