"don't you think he's cheating on you right now?"

[Joyce:)]

I'm sick and tired of these stupid comments.
I was down at the pub, and the son of the owner was, once again, commenting about my LDR.
First of all i must say that him and I had a week long "thing" when i was 15 and he was 21, and during that week he went to amsterdam, had sex with a prostitute, and didn't bother to tell me until a year later. AAAANYWAY, he went on telling me that my boyfriend and I are together just because distance makes the heart grow fonder and so on, and he continued saying that my SO has probably cheated on me and is still cheating on me.
I can't stand all this bad talk about my boyfriend, especially because i trust him with all my heart and i hate how people cannot see that long distance can work if you're meant to be with that person.

I'm sorry, i don't know where i'm trying to get with this. am i the only one who has no kind of support from some friends?
I know that my friend at the pub is just jealous (he told me a few years ago that he loved me, he flew all the way to america when i was on an exchange there just to see me for four days), but it still hurts to feel like i'm alone in this situation, like i can't share my joy with who's around me because they just think i'm naive.

[JEREIANEDREI]

we are at the same situation...some of my friends are saying that maybe why my SO is always going out and being busy and no time for me is because maybe he is doing something,,,you know?....but I trust and LOVE my SO a lot...and though were a thousand thousand miles apart...I'm still keeping the positive mind,,and always put in my Heart all the promise that he made that he would take care of me and NEVER HURT me like the way I felt with my past relationships....no matter what happen just be strong and have faith...PRAY TO GOD...and don't care about what they say!...FOLLOW WHAT YOUR HEART SAY....
...I miss my SO a lot,,and its drivin ' me crazy,.missing him every single moment,,and crying...
...I want you to know that you are not alone....God Bless!

[Joyce:)]

<3 thank you.. i just wish people could understand, it's already so tough to stand the fact that our loved one is on the other side of the world, having them trying to bring me down surely does not help

[FDRV]

Rise above it sounds like they're trying to push buttons and provoke you.

[roosie]

I feel your pain. In his case it probably is the jealousy but there are people who just don't seem to be able to be happy for others or think it's their duty to 'warn' you so it doesn't hurt so much 'when the truth is finally relieved'. I get those comments sometimes too, especially since my SO is a commercial pilot. People really seem to have some stereotypes of pilots. Right, he must be cheating on me with every flight attendant and prostitute? Even though I have heard some stories (like about one pilot getting a flight attendant AND her roommate pregnant the same week), most pilots are faithful husbands and boyfriends (or why not wives and girlfriends too) who work really hard. Also because I'm 7 years younger than him and a blonde Scandinavian people seem to think that he just uses me and that I am just after his money. Generally I get the feeling that people think I'm really naive and they feel sorry for me for trusting him. Although it sometimes bothers me, it doesn't really matter because I know my SO would never cheat on me and we trust each other completely.

[Micah]

If you have trust and faith in your SO, there's no reason to let those comments bug you. A lot of people don't see how LDR possibly can work, but they aren't in them. Others are just jealous that you are happy and your relationship is working out. That's why it is a good thing there are places like this site to come to for those that are experiencing the same thing that you are. I never feel the need to defend myself or my relationship in those sorts of situations. I get a hidden pleasure by proving everyone wrong and showing that my relationship CAN work. I figure that's the best thing I can do.

[roosie]

If you have trust and faith in your SO, there's no reason to let those comments bug you. A lot of people don't see how LDR possibly can work, but they aren't in them. Others are just jealous that you are happy and your relationship is working out. That's why it is a good thing there are places like this site to come to for those that are experiencing the same thing that you are. I never feel the need to defend myself or my relationship in those sorts of situations. I get a hidden pleasure by proving everyone wrong and showing that my relationship CAN work. I figure that's the best thing I can do.

That's so true!

[LadyMarchHare]

I have no idea why people think distance sparks more infidelity than anything else. If someone's gonna cheat on you they don't need the excuse of mileage to do it, just enough tact not to get caught.

Unfortunately LDRs herald these negative stereotypes such as cheating, lying, and so on. But we know better and just because that guy had the gall to risk getting an STD doesn't mean your SO will. Not every man thinks with what's between their legs.

[kiara_silver]

These comments bugged me too, i don't get them any more but during the first year or so I got it alot from my family, mainly my dad, but my sister as well. Would tell me that he probably has multiple girls like me, or he just wants to use me get in my pants and be done or, just alot of negativity. But i always knew it wasn't true, and trust my Nathan, but coming from family it still hurt. I felt at that time i was alone, here nathan was across the world and everyone with me is looking down on me and it was hard at one point, but its made my relationship stronger, and turn to him and not care what anyone thinks, and now there more supportive, or they just keep there comments to themselves. In the end it doesn't matter. They arn't dating your SO, you are, so it only matters what you think and feel and they can say and comment all they want. Don't let it get you down!

[we'reunderthesamesky]

It's difficult that we don't get much support from the people around us. I get a lot of these too from my family when our relationship just started. And everytime these negative comments get to me, I pour my heart out to my SO to let him know how I feel about it. So what he did was to comfort and assure me that he loves me. He made all the effort to prove he's worth trusting and that I don't need to doubt him. Right now, my family accepted him and I'm so much open to them about our future plans. Unfortunately, I do not have really understanding friends who could give me support about my LDR.

[Rosebud]

I've never actually gotten comments like this from people and I'm really thankful for it since I know it'd probably make me a freaked and stressed out nervous wreck (eh, more than I am already). The worst I recieved from friends was at the very beginning of my relationship when things were still rocky and I wasn't really sure what I was doing, but that was mostly out of concern when my friends weren't sure if the relationship could work due to the distance, not because they thought I was datinga total dirtbag. But now that time has passed they're quite supportive of me. I don't know, it seems to me that peope who make comments like that say it out of the intentof briging you down, not out of actual concern for your feelings. It just seems like a totally cruel way of saying they'e uncertain about trusting someone so far away. I can understand from an outsiders point of view how that trust is a difficult concept to grasp, hell, it was a difficult concept for ME to grasp for a long time, but asking about cheating and things like that it a completely unnecessary way of asking about it. Ignore them.

[Joyce:)]

I guess that, before getting in a LDR, i didn't really see how two people could make it and survive distance, so i can kind of understand why some people may be dobtful about me and my SO.
I just find it really hard to be around my friends when it seems that they are not acting in my interest. it's mean and childish to try to bring me down, it just makes me feel that they don't care enough about me to let me do what is right for me.

[snow_girl]

The first thing a girl at work asked me when I told her that my bf was not here was 'Don't you ever get temptations?" She was an idiot. I said not anymore then I would if he was here.

[Rach]

Don't let him get to you. He's just jealous and probably wants you (wants you back)

[Malaga]

I only got it once, from my brother, he was like, "aren't you worried about what he's doing?" I told him I wasn't. He said, "but he could be getting it on with someone else and you'd never know". I love my brother, but he's a bit of a douche when it comes to girls. So I told him not every guy is like him and trust has never been an issue between us. He laughed a bit but never brought it up again. Most people around me have been surprisingly respectful and serious about this, I never would have expected it to be honest.