First Fight?

[Lissy]

My SO and I have been dating since October 2010 - so, about 7 months now? - and we've yet to have a fight, or anything that could really be considered an argument. When there are any issues between us, we talk them out, but the worst thing that happens is that one or both of us gets upset.

We joke about it sometimes. :3 That since we are roleplayers, all of our frustrations are expelled through the characters we play. But neither she or I are very confrontational people.

Just curious if this is normal. Maybe it's because we're long distance, or maybe it's just our personalities.

So, when was your first fight with your SO? Was it over something small, or something more significant? Do you think that it's the strain of being long distance that contributes to the first argument, or even any argument?

[kiara_silver]

me and my Nathan have been together 2 years on the 25th, haven't met yet, but we have never had a fight. We have had hard talks but it wasn't fighting in any way, and we have playful disagreements but no arguing. I have wondered about this too, but i think its okay not to have argued. Maybe? Lol we'll have to just wait and see i guess, but i think its good because in a LDR you learn to communicate, rather than argue and fight, helps you prepare for when your together i think, you learn to be open.

[snow_girl]

My So and I have never fought in the 1.5 years we've been together. We traveled for two months and we'd get on each others nerves and we'd get short with each other and then one of us would get quiet for a bit but never have we had a full out argument or fight.

[Micah]

We have never gotten into a fight either. It could be because we cherish the little time we have together and we're both so laid back we don't let little things get to us.

[Caitlin2009]

honestly i cant remember what it was about, most the arguments we have are swept under the rug and forgotton about after we have them, i cant remember what the first one was about. and honestly all those who said you never have argued with your SO its not a good thing, i actually read up in a few places that if a couple argues(not everyday of course) but its the most healthy relationship you can have because ok you may not like it but it solves things that are in the air and stuff, and they say a couple that never argue is the least likely to work after awhile, so get arguing people lol........and you can look it up if you dont believe me

[churchgrim]

With it being four years together in August, without meeting yet, we've never had a fight. We've had disagreements and I know I've been pretty pissed at him for things, but never something we'd argue or fight about. We'll just let things cool down before they ever get to a level that could cause a fight.
I don't actually know if it's because of the LDR or not, we're both the types of people that avoid needless confrontation, but I think the distance can help to keep things mellow when tensions rise because you can always turn a computer off easier than avoid a person you know in real life.

I just talked about this with my boyfriend, actually, and told him I'd only fight with him if he didn't give me enough kisses.

[Rosebud]

Honestly, every couple is different. Some people argue and some people don't. For me, my boyfriend and I fought quite a bit through out our first few weeks of dating, mostly because we really jumped headfirst into being a couple and were still figuring each other out. And admittedly, we do still argue now. I'm fairly certain if we weren't long distance we wouldn't argue even half as much since I think it's the distance, the lack of face to face communication, lonliness and just plain misunderstanding (we talk mostly through MSN, not phone or text so we don't hear each others voices or see facial expressions which lends a lot to how people speak with one another) is what contributes to and builds up to our fights. Thankfully we've both realized how much we dislike arguing so even though we still do it I feel like we've built a certain way of dealing with them now so they don't really last all too long.

[churchgrim]

honestly i cant remember what it was about, most the arguments we have are swept under the rug and forgotton about after we have them, i cant remember what the first one was about. and honestly all those who said you never have argued with your SO its not a good thing, i actually read up in a few places that if a couple argues(not everyday of course) but its the most healthy relationship you can have because ok you may not like it but it solves things that are in the air and stuff, and they say a couple that never argue is the least likely to work after awhile, so get arguing people lol........and you can look it up if you dont believe me

I read that somewhere too, and I agree with it.
For me personally though, without speaking for everyone else here, I find that it's harder to argue with distance in the way as I feel it's impersonal and doesn't seem like it's something that will get issues out of the way. Just push them aside for a bit.

[Caitlin2009]

I read that somewhere too, and I agree with it.
For me personally though, without speaking for everyone else here, I find that it's harder to argue with distance in the way as I feel it's impersonal and doesn't seem like it's something that will get issues out of the way. Just push them aside for a bit.

maybe but pushing them aside your only letting them fester and get worse, i hate arguments and fights i really do, but i feel like they help us because either you or they are upset over something you did or said sometimes without knowing it yourself, and they have to tell you if it bothers them and if it gets thrown into an argument then so be it, just talk about it until its solved. For me having that is a good thing because in my past "relationship" i never did that i always walked away from him, we fought constantly, ect to me arguing like me and Denise argue is healthy for us, we only argue maybe 3-4 times a month sometimes less unless its a rough patch were having, and ok i dont like them i never do but if your upset about something that person did its healthier to get it out, at least in my opinion. *shrugs*

[Dziubka]

We've never had a big fight either. We had a few (maybe three?) arguments, but I can be quite an unreasonable bitch sometimes so it's nothing really surprising and he handled it very well.
I get upset quite easily if he can not spend time with me, even if it's absolutely not his fault and he doesn't have any say in it whatsoever. And I can get quite mean, because I just need him and I quickly feel unloved if we can't spend time together.
We didn't any of those in the first 7 months either, though...

[Tabitha]

We mostly fight when I get drunk and my filter is removed. I usually speak my mind regardless, but it's particularly bad when I've had more than enough to drink.

We haven't had an actual fight in months now though. Only small disagreements.

[Dziubka]

We mostly fight when I get drunk and my filter is removed. I usually speak my mind regardless, but it's particularly bad when I've had more than enough to drink.

Amen.
I'm so surprised sometimes, that he still loves me with all my unreasonable-ness ans unfairness.

We disagree about a lot of things, mainly in our political views, but it really keeps the relationship interesting. In the end, we'd both like the world to look the same, it's just that we prefer different ways to get there.
...I'm rambling I guess.

[Tabitha]

Amen.
We disagree about a lot of things, mainly in our political views, but it really keeps the relationship interesting. In the end, we'd both like the world to look the same, it's just that we prefer different ways to get there.
...I'm rambling I guess.

Oh yeah. I know all about the political differences. I'm very liberal and he's somewhat conservative. We never fight over our political differences, but it makes for interesting debates and conversations.

[13000km]

I'm not sure what everyone's definition of fighting is, but I think we fight a lot. They never last very long, because it's mostly me finding some fault and exaggerating it. He's usually very calm about it and talks me out of it. It's amazing how he does it. We don't fight all the time but in "phases", as I go through violent moodswings sometimes and something small can make me upset in the worst way possible. Our first fight was about 4 months in, when he was trying to comfort one of his female friends who was jealous of me and the time he and I spent together. I also think that is the biggest one to date, since it's the only one I remember.

[kteire]

My boyfriend Loic and I have had one fight, and we've been together almost a year now. It only happened last weekend, I had been driving down to Nova Scotia and hadn't been able to be on skype, when he'd be awake, for a few days. Normally we talk for a few hours every night, so it was a weird adjustment. So when I finally got the opportunity to sit down and talk to him, he was paying more attention to playing Halo with his flatmate than talking to me. I got angry, and he felt very bad.
I hate fighting haha.