Just take a moment to think

[Aerica]

My SO has a bad habit (IMO) of barely ever sending me little random messages, whether it be by txt or by the internet. Wtv. I get over it, even though I wish he would.

Sometimes, this bothers me to a point where I am frustrated with him and I get aggravated and start taking it out on him. I hint endlessly at these little things that I would like (it barely ever works).

So when I to a point, where i am frustrated and aggravated and wish I could just have ONE random message from him, I stop myself and I think of all the things he does for me that are random and loving and all the good things about him. he doesnt have to send me a message to show and tell he loves me. He does that already in the way he looks at me (even if it is through a webcam), the way he talks to me, the way he says goodnight, just, the simple things he does that he doesnt even know he is doing.

if you are to a point of aggravation, just stop and think of all the things your SO does for you and how they show you that they love you.

It helps.

[Rach321]

Agreed! I do the same thing, but then I remind myself that my ways of showing him that I love him don't have to be the same as the ways he shows me he loves me.

[agentholli]

I agree..someone once told me that remember that even though he isn't loving you the way you want to be loved, he is doing the best he knows how...and it doesn't mean it isn't love.

[Aerica]

I agree..someone once told me that remember that even though he isn't loving you the way you want to be loved, he is doing the best he knows how...and it doesn't mean it isn't love.

I like that thought process. Its much more clear than what i wrote :P

[Svea]

Agreed 100% - I constantly find myself thinking of the good times/moments regardless.

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

Agreed. Most of the time it's what I do....but there are those times I just can't help but be frustrated. But for the most part, majority of the time, that's what I do. He's actually pretty good about things, it's been a learning process for both of us.

[San]

Hey,

Ah, really like this trail of thought! Thanks! I knew it already, but this should help me next time something bugs me during the day and I feel down. We need to have perspective! I mean, how great are our SO's, no?? Sure, we're not perfect. Focus on how wonderful it is, not every detail that doesn't go so well.

"I agree..someone once told me that remember that even though he isn't loving you the way you want to be loved, he is doing the best he knows how...and it doesn't mean it isn't love.", great quote...

Thanks!

Have a nice day,

San

[Sara]

i agree. it is important to keep things in perspective, and see the little things. even if they aren't the same little things that you think you want.

does anyone have any advise on how to get my SO to see things this way? he is feeling very unloved, and i am trying to do everything i can, but somehow it isn't what he wants from me....

[Mio]

We all are different, so we should look at the nice things!

[FullMetal20234]

Ahhhhhh I agree! That same thing happens to me! He fails at responding to texts because I'm really the only one who texts him, and hardly gets online anymore because he's at college, but all I have to do is remember what he was like and how he acted last time I saw him and I know he must be at least thinking of me